Which one was Pete Carney?

哪一個 Pete Carney？

Pete the Weeper. Remember the guy that used to cry every

愛哭鬼 Pete 啊。記得那個每次和我做愛完都會

time we had sex?

鬼哭神號的那一個？

Oh, was it good for you?

哦，剛才妳舒服嗎？

yeah well I take a little crying any day over Howard

我寧可聽鬼哭神號也不要那個每次都說 「我贏了」

the "I Win" guy. I win! I win!

的 Howard。我贏了！我贏了！

I went out with the guy for two months, I didn't get to win once.

和他交往兩個月，我一次也沒贏過

How do we end up

我們怎麼都會遇到

with these jerks? We're good people!

這種混蛋呢？我們這麼優秀！

I don't know. Maybe we're like some kind of magnets.

我哪知道為什麼。或許我們像是某種磁鐵

I know I am that's why I can't wear a digital watch.

我知道我是，所以我不能戴電子錶

there's more beer, right?

還有啤酒，對吧？

Oh you know my friend Abby who shaves her head? She says that if you

噢，妳們知道我那個自己把頭髮剃光的朋友 Abby ? 她說如果想

want to break the bad boyfriend cycle you can do like a cleansing ritual.

斬斷爛桃花，可以做一個淨化儀式

Pheebs this woman is voluntarily bald.

Pheebs 這個女人是自願禿頭的

Yeah! So, we can do it tomorrow night you guys.

沒錯！所以，我們明天晚上可以做淨化儀式

It's Valentine's Day, it's perfect.

明天是情人節，再適合不過了

Okay

好

well what kind of ritual?

那麼是哪一種儀式呢？

Okay we can, we can burn the stuff they gave us.

好，我們可以焚燒他們給我們的東西

Or?

或者？

Or...

還是...

Or we can chant and dance around naked you know with sticks

還是我們可以全身赤裸手持棍棒的吟唱和跳舞

Burnings good. Burning is good.

焚燒好了。焚燒是個好主意

Okay so now we need sage branches and the sacramental wine.

好的那現在我們需要鼠尾草的枝葉和聖酒

All I had is oregano and a fresca.

我這裡只有奧勒崗葉和佛雷斯加

Um... that's okay

呃... 那也可以

All right now we need the semen of a righteous man.

好的現在我們需要一個優質男子的精液

Okay Pheebs you know what if we had that we wouldn't be doing the ritual in the first place.

Pheebs 妳知道如果我們找得到那種人的話，一開始就不用舉辦這個儀式了

Can we just start throwing things in?

可以開始把東西丟進去了嗎？

Yeah okay okay

可以了

Okay, Barry's letters, Adam Ritter's boxer shorts.

好的，Barry 的信，Adam Ritter 的四角褲

And I have the receipt for my dinner with no Kalulu...

我還有和 no Kalulu 共進晚餐的收據 ...

Hey, look there's a picture of Scottie Jared naked.

嘿，這裡有一張 Scottie Jared 的裸照

Oh let me see!

讓我看看！

Hey he's wearing a sweater.

嘿，他穿了一件毛衣

No...

他沒穿...

Ew!

啊呦！

okay and here we have the last of Paolo's grappa.

好的最後我們還有 Paolo 的渣釀白蘭地

Rachel isn't it almost pure...?

Rachel 那不是很純...？

What do we got there?

這裡有什麼呢？

A piece of soaked boxer shorts, greeting cards. Looks like a half-charred picture of...

一片浸濕了的四角短褲，卡片，看起來像是半燒焦了照片

Wow, that guy's hairier than the chief

哇！那個男的毛髮比警長還要濃密耶

It's a really funny story how this happened.

這整件事情的發生實在是很搞笑

It's alright, it's alright. You don't have to explain. This isn't the first boyfriend bonfire that we've seen get

沒關係，沒關係。妳們不必解釋。這可不是第一起我們遇過失控的

out of control.

男友營火活動

You're a third call tonight.

妳們是今晚的第三起

Really?

真的嗎？

Oh sure Valentine's is our busiest night of the year.

當然，情人節是一年當中我們最忙碌的時候

But we get off around midnight why don't we pick up then?

不過我們大約在午夜的時候下班，到時候再好好聊？

Ok, great!

好，太好了！

So, will you bring the truck?

那你們會開消防車來嗎？

I'll even let you ring the bell. We'll see you later! Bye! See ya! Oh my God!

我還可以讓妳按警鈴呢。晚一點見囉！再見！等下見！噢我的天啊！

See? There you go. The Cleansing worked!

看吧？淨化儀式真的奏效了！

You're right! They're nice guys!

妳說的對！他們人還不錯！

They're firemen guys!

他們是消防員！

You guy tell them you were married?

你們有說你們已經結婚了嗎？

No way. You kidding? My girlfriend doesn't know, no way I'm gonna tell them.

開玩笑，當然沒有啊。我的女朋友都不知道了，我怎麼可能告訴她們