MyFamilyIsWeird stories from you guys.

來自大家的「我的家人好奇怪」

This first one is from @Kimjohnston.

第一則來自 @Kimjohnston

He says...

他說

My dad once dumped his chocolate milkshake on the hood of my brother's Jeep because

我爸曾經把他的巧克力奶昔，倒在我哥/弟的吉普車蓋上，只因為

"if we're going through the car wash, we may as well get our money's worth."

「這樣去洗車才會值回票價。」

This one's from @lea22089. She says...

這則來自 @lea22089，她說

My grandmother has fake plants but she likes to use real dirt to make them seem real.

我奶奶有盆假花但是她喜歡用真的土當盆底，讓它看起來像真的

That is weird.

這個怪

That is weird.

真的怪

This one's from @Mariabarnes96.

這則來自 @Mariabarnes96

She said...

她說了

When we can't find parking at a restaurant, my dad parks in the "Carry Out" parking spots.

我們在餐廳外找不到停車位，我爸把車停在「外帶」暫借停車道

He says it still counts because we'll be "carrying out" the food in our stomachs.

他說這也算啊 ! 因為我們會把食物「外帶」到我的肚子

Not sexy.

聽起來不 OK

This one's from @garrettsatfield.

這則來自 @garrettsatfield

I like that name.

我喜歡這個名字

Garrett Satfield.

Garrett Satfield

Sounds like somebody I'd be friends with.

聽起來感覺可以交個朋友

I went out to dinner the other night

某一晚我和 Garrett Satfield

with Garrett Satfield. -How is Garrett?

一起吃晚餐 -他人怎樣 ?

He's fantastic as always.

他一直都很不正經

He's just a positive dude, always nice.

他很正向，人超好

-That's good. -Happy -- he's married.

-很棒啊 ! -超開心的，還有他已婚了

-Wife is lovely. -Wife is great, too.

-他老婆很可愛 -老婆人也很好

-Linda is lovely. -Yeah.

-Linda 人很可愛就是了 -對

We're having the Satfields over for dinner...

我們和 Satfields 共進晚餐

-Are you really? -...again

-真假 ? -又一起了

'cause I had so much fun last night.

因為昨晚真的玩得很開心

Oh, my gosh.

我的媽呀

I'm going to do it every night of the week.

以後每週每晚都要「夜夜 Satfields」

Oh, my gosh. He's so fun.

我的媽呀，他很搞笑

You know how much fun he is?

你知道他有多搞笑嗎 ?

-Who? You talking about GS? -Yeah, GS.

-你說誰 ? GS 嗎 ? -是的，簡稱 GS

Garrett Man. The gangster.

剛剛說的 Garrett 先生

Yeah, he's fantastic.

他真的是個奇葩

Yeah, I just love Garrett Satfield.

我超迷 Garrett Satfield

Really? How much do you love him?

真假 ? 你是有多愛他？

Well, I mean, I love my wife and my kids.

我是說，我愛我的一家妻小

But above all, Gary Statfield.

但是 Gary Statfield 非他莫屬

He says...

他說

My grandpa liked to sit in his chair with a blanket and no pants.

我爺爺喜歡坐在沒穿褲子，蓋條毛毯坐在椅子上

When he got up, he'd yell, "Red light!" and we'd have to close our eyes.

他要站起來時，他會吼：「紅燈！」我們就要閉眼睛

When he thought we was far enough down the hall, he'd yell, "Green light!"

當他覺得我們離大廳比較遠時，他會再喊：「綠燈！」

He was never far enough.

他沒有極限

Grandpa!

爺爺 !

Grandpa, we're at yellow right now.

爺爺，現在是黃燈喔

Take the blanket with you.

記得你的毛毯

"I'm about to go yellow."

「我要亮黃燈囉！」

Is that right?

這樣對嗎 ?

Brown light.

應該是棕燈吧 !

Brown light, that's...

棕色的嗎 ? 這真是...

This one's from @Danimichelle.

這則來自 @Danimichelle

She says...

她說

When I was learning to parallel park, my dad used my sister and brother as traffic cones.

我在學路邊停車時，我爸用我的兄弟姐妹們當交通三角錐

Yay, dad. Get your money's worth.

是的，老爹 ! 永遠值回票價

Now we learn how to drive to the hospital.

現在，要來學怎麼開到醫院去

Here we go.

出發囉！

This one's from @etess97. She says...

這則來自@etess97，她說

I once heard my grandparents giggling upstairs and when I walked past their bedroom,

我有一次聽到爺奶在樓上嘻笑，當我經過他們房間時

I saw them wearing each others' dentures.

我看到他們在交換戴假牙

What?

什麼？

How would you know?

你怎麼知道的 ?

I mean, they're not even my grandparents,

我是說，他們甚至不是我祖父母

and I want to unsee that.

我已經希望我沒看到

Oh, green light!

綠燈請開眼

The last one's from @crusty316. He says...

這則來自@crusty316，他說

To save money my dad used to bring us to the Disney section at Toys 'R Us and say, "Welcome to Disneyland!"

為了省錢，我爸以前都帶我們去玩具反斗城的迪士尼區域，然後和我們說：「歡迎來到迪士尼樂園。」

There you have it.

以上是今晚的

Those are our "Tonight Show hashtags."

【今夜秀】我的家人好奇怪

To check out more of our favorites,

更多我們最愛的

go to tonightshow.com/hashtags.

都在 tonightshow.com/hashtags