And how the hell do you know?

還有，要怎麼做才能分得清楚？

So this next question from Emily is a really, really great one.

這個非常棒的問題是由 Emily 發問的

For those of you that are struggling with making a decision.

對那些面對決策游移不定的人尤其有用

And it's a question about how do you know when you're listening to your heart, or you're listening to your head?

這問題是關於你該怎麼知道自己是在跟著初衷走、還是聽從大腦指揮？

How do you know, what fear is real?

要怎麼判別哪種恐懼才是真實的？

In other words, and so she writes, "I totally get how it is so important to listen to your inner wisdom and stop the inner chatter of self-doubt, but what happens, Mel, when the internal war is between what your heart feels and what your brain thinks?"

換言之，就像她寫的：「我瞭解傾聽內心的智慧非常重要，也懂得去壓抑自我質疑的聲音，但 Mel 究竟為什麼，心中所念、腦中所想總是爭吵不休？」

And your inner wisdom is telling you?

你的內在智慧向你傾訴了些什麼？

And so this is a question about do you make decisions with your heart,

這個疑問是想探清自己究竟是依據內心決策，

or do you make decisions with your head,

還是依照理智行事，

and how the hell do you know?

而我們又該怎麼正確判斷？

How do you know?

到底怎麼做才能知道呢？

In fact, I was just talking with my creative director,

前陣子我和我的創意總監談論這話題的時候，

and she was sharing with me that a friend of hers is going through this terrible thing right now.

她與我分享她的一位朋友正好處在這困境之中

It's not terrible, it's just what happens in life,

但這其實並不糟，只是生命中的一個片段

where she knows that the relationship that she's in isn't right.

她看得出來自己現在的感情狀態並不理想

They get along really well, things are really easy,

兩人相處得很融洽、日子過得輕鬆寫意，

but in her heart, she knows it just isn't right.

可她打從心裡了解這段關係是個錯誤

Those are the kinds of decisions that are really difficult to make.

這只是關於困難決定的一個例子

And so it gets to the heart of Emily's question,

同時它也是 Emily 提問的核心點：

which is how do I know whether to make a decision with my head or a decision with my heart?

我該怎麼知道要按理智抉擇，還是聽從內心感覺來下決定才是正確的？

I'm the kind of person that believes you should always make decisions with your heart and soul.

我呢總是堅信心靈才是做決定時最好的嚮導

You can use your brain for math.

解數學習題時你可以用大腦、

You can use your brain to look at the fine print in a contract.

解讀合約細項時你也可以用大腦

But when it comes to the actual feel of the decision, you always wanna go inward, and check it against your heart and soul.

至於決策過程的核心想法，我認為你必須向內探求，以內心和靈魂來做判準

How do you do that?

這要怎麼做呢？

Here's the simple test.

這裡有項簡單測試

Does the decision that you're about to make expand you, expand your future, or expand the possibilities of your life?

你正要下的這項決定是否能夠讓你更有寬度，拓寬你的未來，或者為你的生命展開更多可能性？

If the answer is yes then the decision is yes, no matter how terrifying it is.

若你的答案是肯定的，那項決定就值得去做，無論這會有多麼艱鉅

If you conversely look at the choice that you have to make and the decision will shrink you, will silence you, will inhibit you in some way, then the answer is no.

相反地，如果你檢視你面臨的這項決定，而它將會限縮你、封閉你、會在某種層面上侷限你，你就該對這項決定說不

No matter how easy the decision is,

不管這項決定是多麼輕鬆簡單、

no matter how safe the decision is,

有多麼安全、不會出錯，

the answer is no.

你都該拒絕

Now, one of the things I wanna point out that when you start to use this,

另外我想強調的是，當你開始使用這種判斷方法──

Does it expand or does it shrink me?

這決定會開展還是限縮我的視野？

Does it open possibilities or does it keep things closed?

它會帶來更多可能性還是會阻斷機會？

Does it raise my voice or does it silence me? Right?

它會賦予我更多聲音還是會阻礙我向外發聲？這些考量以外，

—is that there's always a short-term and a long-term impact to the decision.

還要注意到你的決策總會碰上短期、長期的衝擊性影響

The short-term impact to making an expansive decision, a decision that's based in your heart and your soul,

跟隨心靈做成的決定，或許代價高昂，它背後的短期衝擊

sometimes it's terrifying because sometimes it means moving,

有時看來十分可怕，你可能得因此搬家、

or it means changing a job or changing a relationship,

換工作、或為自己的感情做出改變，

or having a difficult conversation or starting something new,

或談及你平日不願觸碰的話題、或嘗試新事物，

and those sorts of things are always uncomfortable.

這些事情都在舒適圈之外

So brace for impact, put the force fields up, but make the decision anyway.

因此請為眼前的衝擊做好準備，但記得無論如何，該做的決定就必須履行

Because the long-term impact of making a decision from your heart and soul,

因為由衷的決定所帶來的長遠影響會是

that is where the best life comes from.

未來美好生活的泉源

Because you're living for what's true for you,

因為你真實地活出了自我，

not what's safe in the moment.

而不是將就一時的安全牌

I hope that helps and let me know how you use this expanse versus shrink scale in order to make decisions that you're facing right now.

我希望這對你有幫助，也請讓我知道你如何使用這項「擴展或限縮」的衡量標準，來做出你現正面臨的抉擇

And don't forget, submit your questions to us by using the hashtag AskMel.

最後別忘了利用 #AskMel 來提出你的問題