字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ This thing always reminds me of a duck. [as Donald Duck] Time to open my vagina! -Quack, quack, quack. -Put that down. ♪♪ [normal voice] Sorry. [clears throat] Is Dr. Olson gonna be long? Oh, she's out today. Dr. Bennett will be covering. -Okay. -He's great. That -- He's... He's a guy? Yes. Is he like -- is he, like, really old and doctory? Because I didn't -- I didn't -- I didn't wax my... [door opens, closes] Dr. Bennett: Hello. I'm Dr. Bennett. ♪ Just came here ♪ ♪ And I don't want you to leave ♪ ♪ I'll stay here ♪ ♪ And get it started with me ♪ ♪ Can't blame ya ♪ ♪ We bump into ya, baby ♪ All right, let's see what we got here. Oh, look at that. Happy birthday. Well, how do you know that? You -- You counting the rings down there? [chuckles] No, I have your, uh... Oh, right. Stupid -- my chart. [both chuckle] -All right. -[clears throat] Well, I was gonna go over a few things here, and...then we'll set you free. -You can go celebrate. -Great. Thanks. Uh... So, it says here it's been a little over two years since your last Pap smear. Is that correct? Yeah, yeah. I haven't had any sexual partners, so, no. Oh, okay. No sexual partner. Well, you don't -- you don't have to write down, "No sexual partners." I've had sex before. -Ah. -Like, a lot. Well, not a lot. I'm not a slut. No, I wasn't thinking that you -- You know, 'cause, the last -- the last two years, I've had, like, no sex at all. So, I mean -- Has it really been two years? We don't need to talk about it anymore. -I have all the information. -You know what? I think it's probably fine down there. We can just come back when I'm having sex again. No, no, it's okay. Honestly, I mean, you know, you're here, you might as well... get it done, right? Especially since there'll be no STD testing or family-planning concerns, I assume. No, no, that's -- that's not -- way in the future. Not even thinking about that yet. Okay. Well, I should let you know that, um, if you are ever thinking about having kids someday, the decline in fertility accelerates rapidly after 35. -Rapidly? -Mm-hmm. Just -- Just something to, you know, think about. Uh-huh. Okay. [sighing] All right. [glove snaps] Okay. So, I'll just, um... We need to... And if you could just, uh, scoot towards me a little bit, please. [sighs] [chuckles] La-- Closer. Okay. [clears throat] A little closer. You just want to get to the very edge. Any closer and I'll be your beard, okay? You know what? This is fine. I can do it from here. -Okay. -Speculum, please. Thank you. Okay. -[sighs] -Okay, I just need a... Take a deep breath, try to relax. [sighs] -All right. -[click] Gonna hear some clicks. [clicking] Uh, cytobrush, please. [gasps] -It's in the other room. -[door opens] I'll be right back. [door closes] Um... She'll be right back. -[chuckling] Right. -[chuckles] It's okay. [clears throat] [sighs] We'll just wait. Yeah. [sighs] I guess we... Oh. [chuckles] [footsteps in distance] [sighs] You have any plans for your big day? I mean, besides coming to the gynecologist? [both laugh] -No, no, just working. -Gotcha. This is the only action I'm getting today. [laughs] Oh, no, I didn't mean like -- I didn't mean it like that. I didn't mean this was action. You know? I would have at least waxed, [chuckles] which I normally do, by the way. You just -- You're catching me right before I go in. I actually have an appointment today, right after this. Today is my day of appointments. Probably should have done that one first, though, right? No, no, it's fine. I mean, it's not that bad at all. I mean, it's not bad. I mean, I'm not good -- Just fine. You have to grow your hair out when you wax, okay? That's how it works, So that's why mine looks like that right now. It doesn't normally look like that. Just right before I wax, which I'm doing today. I mean, not bald. Gonna leave a little hair. -I'm not seven. -Right. I always think it's strange when guys are into girls like that, you know. You need something, right? Like a landing strip or something, right? Ah, the cytobrush! Awesome. Thank you. Okay. Just relax. [sighs] There we go. Breathe through it. Olivia: Nobody wants to think about getting older, but the reality is, we all do. I mean, trust me, I know from personal experience what happens if you don't plan ahead. Like, my dad had a heart attack during a golf lesson and left my mom with nothing but a mortgage and 12 more golf lessons. Definitely was not the future that she planned. Let us help you set your family up with life insurance and protect your family today. Great, I'll transfer you to Danny for an appointment. Okay. Aww, you brought me a cake. Jayne: Yeah. With a fuck-ton of candles! Mmm. ♪♪ Happy birthday. Does mom know you're using her story to sell insurance? Whatever. Mom's living in my guest room, -it's my story now, too. -Mmm. Danny, can you pick up line two to schedule an appointment for Mrs. Reeves? Will do. ♪ Hey, baby♪ ♪ Come on in, I've been waiting for ya♪ God damn it, Danny, I told you to use the intercom. Right, sorry -- more profesh. -Hey, Jayne. -Hey. -So sporty. -Thank you. -Is it your birthday? -Line two. Oh, right. Birthday on a Friday night. Do you want to go out? -Please say yes. -No, I can't.