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字幕列表 影片播放

  • Alright, yeah

    好啦,好啦

  • I know I just made a video about school stuff, like, a couple weeks ago

    我知道,幾個禮拜前已經做了一個關於學校的影片

  • But, you know what?

    但是,你知道嗎

  • I just gotta vent a little here, okay?

    我就是需要發洩一下,好嗎?

  • You'll understand in a bit.

    你們等一下就會懂了

  • For my Graphic Design History Lecture, we had to make a 3-4 minute video,

    在我的《平面設計史》的課程裡 我們要做一個3~4分鐘的影片

  • summarizing every chapter we covered during this semester.

    對於我們這學期所學到的章節做個總結

  • And the horrible twist was...

    而那殘酷的事實就是...

  • IT WAS A GROUP PROJECT.

    ...它是一個團隊報告。

  • Now, the thing about a college lecture is that:

    關於大學課程的報告,你要知道的是:

  • You don't know anyone.

    你不認識任何人。

  • You come in, sit down wherever you want,

    你走進教室裡,隨便找位置坐下來

  • listen to the professor talk for, like an hour and a half,

    大概,花一個半小時聽教授講課

  • and then you leave.

    然後你就離開

  • Maybe one time, you'll forget a pencil and have to ask the person sitting in front of you for one,

    也許某一次你會忘記帶筆,得要向坐在你前面的人借

  • and the you forget to give it back

    然後你會忘記把筆還回去

  • and now you have some random stranger's pencil.

    於是你現在有了一隻陌生人的筆

  • But they don't care!

    但是他們不在乎!

  • No one cares.

    沒有人在乎。

  • Welcome to College.

    歡迎來到大學

  • When the professor dropped in on us that it was a group project, everyone was like;

    當教授說會是一個團隊報告的時候,每個人的反應就像:

  • "Oh god, freakin', now I gotta pretend that I know these hockey pucks."

    "天啊,他媽—,現在我還得假裝我認識這些傢伙"

  • Basically, everyone just turned around to the closest person around them and was like,

    基本上大家做的就是轉身,找到離的最近的人

  • "You wanna be in a group?"

    "你想加入嗎"

  • "Okay"

    "好啊"

  • I ended up with these two other girls

    後來我跟這兩個女生一組

  • and because I don't want to say their real names, I just Googled

    因為我不想說出她們的真實姓名,所以我上網搜尋了

  • 'Most annoying girl names' and Google gave me;

    "最惹人厭的女生名子",然後Google跑出來的結果是

  • Reneesme and Bloodrayne.

    Reneeesme 和 Bloodrayne

  • Anyone out there named Reneeesme and Bloodrayne,

    如果你的名子真的是 Reneeesme 和 Bloodrayne

  • I'm sorry, I'm sure you're a wonderful person,

    我很抱歉,我知道你肯定是個好人

  • but Google has spoken.

    但Google都開口了

  • So...

    所以...

  • So now I've got Reneeesme and Bloodrayne here in a group with me.

    現在我跟Reneeesme 和 Bloodrayne同一組

  • The project was assigned to us in, like beginning of April

    這個報告是在四月初給我們的

  • so we had about a month to get it done.

    所以我們大概有一個月可以完成

  • We wrote down our contact info and went on with our day.

    我們各自留下聯絡方式然後就走了

  • I was pretty swamped with work at the time,

    我深陷於各種工作中

  • so I wasn't too concerned with getting started right away.

    所以我不是很想要立刻就開始做

  • Two weeks pass and no one would say anything.

    兩個禮拜過去了,沒有人出聲

  • At this point, I decided to take initiative and make a group text.

    就在這個時候,我決定主動發一個群組訊息

  • "Hey guys, it's Jaiden from design history.

    嗨,我是平面設計史的Jaiden

  • We should probably start thinking about the project soon.

    我們應該開始想一想如何做報告了

  • When are you all free?

    你們什麼時候有空?

  • I didn't get a response, but you know what? it's fine.

    我沒有得到回應,但是你知道嗎? 沒關係

  • I'm sure they've got their own stuff to do.

    也許他們只是也有自己的事情要忙

  • I won't judge. It's not a big deal.

    我不會隨便批判,沒什麼大不了的

  • Another week goes by, and I still haven't heard anything.

    一個禮拜又過去了,我還是沒有得到任何消息

  • Alright, time to get serious.

    好喔,該認真起來了

  • We've got a week to do this now, and we've got nothing.

    我們只剩下一個禮拜了,而我們還什麼都沒做

  • We've got one text in a group chat saying that we should start THINKING

    除了一個在群組裡的訊息,說我們該開始"想一想"

  • about the project that no one's answered.

    而且沒有人回應

  • That's what we've got.

    我們的進度就這樣

  • I took double initiative and decided to get things going by splitting up the chapters evenly between us.

    我二度主動做出行動,決定從分配章節開始

  • There were 7 in total, which meant that one of us was gonna have to cover 3

    總共有七個章節,這也就代表說有一個人要報告3個章節

  • while the other's only had 2.

    其他人只要各報告2個

  • I was nice and gave the 3 chapters to myself.

    因為我是個好人,所以我自己拿了3個章節

  • Group project chivalry.

    團隊報告的騎士道

  • Then I set up a Google Drive project so we could all work on it without having to physically get together,

    然後我建了一個Google雲端硬碟 我們才能一起製作報告而不用真的碰面

  • and texted everyone again.

    於是我再次傳了個訊息

  • I made a plan with them that Monday:

    我在禮拜一的時候跟他們定了個計畫:

  • Meet up on Friday to record our notes and slides so we'd have the weekend to edit the video for next Monday.

    在禮拜五的時候會合,錄製幻燈片和筆記 這樣我們週末就有空剪輯影片

  • I know, not as creative as it could get, but I wasn't about to go crazy overboard here.

    我知道,不是我做過最好的計畫 但是我也不想要做的太過火了

  • Okay, we've got a good plan.

    好了,我們有了一個很好的計畫

  • Not too much stress, a bit last minute, but it's all organized, so it's not that bad.

    沒有太大的壓力,雖然有點趕,但是一切都規劃好了 所以沒有那麼糟糕

  • I had a lot of work during the week, but I got my slides and notes done, and was ready to film on Friday.

    在那個禮拜我很忙,不過我的幻燈片和筆記都完成了 已經準備好要在禮拜五的時候錄音

  • But Thursday night, I get a text from Reneeesme.

    但就在星期四晚上,Reneeesme傳了一個訊息

  • "Hey, so I can't meet up with you guys tomorrow, because I have something going on."

    嘿,我明天不能跟你們見面了,因為我有事

  • Huh.

  • I got that feeling.

    我有個直覺

  • Like this was the start of something REALLY bad.

    覺得這是某個糟糕事件的開端

  • The little snowball of horribleness that was about to start barreling down the hill of 'f**k you'

    一小坨"糟糕"的雪球 從一個名為"去你的"的坡上滾下來

  • and crash right into my little cabin of composure.

    然後直接砸爛我的沉著小木屋

  • "W-What? I mean, we planned this on Monday. You should have told us that it didn't work for you, or something came up.

    什—什麼?我是說,我們在禮拜一的時候就說好了 如果有事或是真的不行的話你應該先說的

  • What about meeting over the weekend?"

    那在週末的時候見面?

  • "I have work from 7am to 10pm Saturday and Sunday."

    我週末要從早上7點工作到晚上10點

  • THIS FRICKING-

    你他媽—

  • Before too much time passed, I updated Bloodrayne on the situation.

    我趕緊跟Bloodrayne說了這狀況

  • We came to the conclusion that we could just do audio recording of our notes and edit them on top

    討論的結果是我們可以錄製各自的筆記 然後直接搭在

  • of the slides, so Reneeesme could record on her own time.

    幻燈片上,這樣Reneeesme就可以在她自己的時間錄了

  • Alright, back on track. Bit of a bump there, but it's all good now. We've still got a solid plan.

    好,回到正軌 有點不順,但是都解決了 我們還是有很好的計畫

  • Back when we were still planning everything, we decided as a group to have Reneeesme edit the video.

    當初在討論的時候,我們原本是要讓Reneeesme 來剪輯影片

  • But I decided: Yeah, no, I do not trust this girl, I'm gonna edit the whole video.

    但是我決定了: 這樣好嗎,不,我不信任她 我要自己剪輯

  • I know, it's not balanced at all with the amount of work I had to do compared to the other girls.

    我知道,跟其他兩位比起來 工作分配一點也不平衡

  • But you know what? It's fine! Whatever.

    但是呢,沒關係! 管他的

  • It's better than worrying all weekend about if Reneeesme even knows how to upload a video to the internet.

    這樣比起整個週末來 擔心Reneeesme到底會不會上傳影片到網路上好

  • I get a text Friday morning from Bloodrayne.

    我在禮拜五早上接到了Bloodrayne的訊息

  • "I'm at the library, We're still meeting up right?"

    我在圖書館 我們還是有要碰面吧?

  • What?

    什麼?

  • I asked why, and she said:

    我問為什麼,她說

  • "To record!"

    "錄音啊!"

  • Uh, okay. We don't need to meet up for that, bit I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

    呃,好喔 我們不需要為了那個碰面 但是就姑且信她一次吧

  • Maybe she doesn't know how to record audio or something, and she needs help.

    也許她不知道怎麼錄音什麼的,或她需要幫忙

  • So, I head over to the library with my microphone and we get a table in the corner.

    所以我就帶著我的麥克風去了圖書館 我們找了個角落的桌子坐下

  • "Alright, so just read off your notes into the mic and I'll put them in the video."

    好,所以只要朝著麥克風唸出你的筆記 然後我再把它放進影片裡

  • And you know what this girl does?

    結果你知道她做了什麼嗎?

  • She starts reading the most HORRENDOUS notes I have ever heard in my entire being.

    她開始讀起 我從有意識以來 聽過最可怕的筆記

  • THIS GIRL- This is what she did, right?!

    這個女生— 她就是這麼做的,好嗎?!

  • When I made my slides in the project, I had terms, vocabulary, and key artists

    當我在做這個報告的幻燈片的時候 我會把專有名詞,詞彙和主要的藝術家

  • from the chapter.

    從章節裡擷取出來

  • The notes look like this:

    列出來會像這樣

  • A few main points and terms, and then a couple artists.

    幾個要點和專有名詞,以及一些藝術家

  • The reason they looked so barren is because in my audio, I was going to EXPLAIN them!

    會看起來如此貧乏的原因是我要在音頻裡 作 "解釋" !

  • THIS GIRL.

    這個女的

  • B-BLOODRAYNE

    B-BLOODRAYNE

  • LITERALLY LOOKED AT MY SLIDES AND SAID:

    她就是 看著我的幻燈片然後說

  • "Alright! This is what I have to do!"

    "好喔!接下來我要這麼做!"

  • AND WROTE HER NOTES EXACTLY LIKE MY SLIDES

    把她自己的筆記 完全照抄我的幻燈片

  • AND THOUGHT SHE COULD JUST READ THEM LIKE THAT WITHOUT ANY DETAILS OR COGNITIVE THOUGHT!

    然後以為她就可以這樣照著唸 完全不附加任何細節或認知想法!

  • Are you kidding?!?!

    你 在 開 玩 笑 嗎?!

  • How did you even pass grade PRESCHOOL??!!?

    你是怎麼從幼稚園畢業的?!

  • I just sat there in disbelief while the girl read the saddest excuse for notes in the most

    我就這樣震驚的坐在那 聽著史上最悲慘的筆記

  • *monotone* unenthusiastic, monotone voice you could imagine.

    同時用你所能想像最 毫無情緒,超級單調的聲音

  • When she was done, she just turned and looked at me like, "I'm done!"

    當她唸完的時候,她就轉頭看著我好像說 "我唸完了"

  • "You-Do you have any notes explaining what you talked about?"

    你—你有其他的筆記要解釋你所說的嗎?

  • "no."

    沒有啊

  • *sigh* "Uh, ok."

    *嘆氣* 呃,好

  • Can you get some notes explaining all your terms and artists?

    你可以給我一些筆記 是解釋你那些專有名詞和藝術家的嗎?

  • Because for the video, we have to explain why you put them in the video,

    因為在影片裡面,我們要解釋為什麼要把它們放進去

  • you know?"

    你懂嗎?

  • "Oh, okay."

    喔,好喔

  • I got back to my dorm and had to take a breather.

    我回到了我的宿舍房間 並且得要停下來深呼吸一下

  • Ok, that was pretty bad, but it's fine.

    好,剛剛滿糟糕的,但是沒關係

  • She'll fix them, send them to me, and I can get started on the video.

    她很快就會改好,寄給我 然後我就可以開始剪輯影片了

  • No big deal, things seem pretty crap, but I'm staying optimistic. It's fine!

    沒什麼大不了的,雖然看起來很糟 但是我要正面思考,沒問題的!

  • "Ok, guys, so can you get me your audio by tonight or tomorrow so I'll have time to edit the video by Monday? Thanks"

    所以你們可以在今晚或明天把音檔寄給我嗎? 這樣我才能在禮拜一之前做好影片 謝謝

  • They both sent their audio to me past midnight on Saturday.

    她們兩個 都在禮拜六午夜過後才傳來

  • *inhales*

    *吸氣*

  • ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT,ALRIGHT,ALRIGHT.

    好喔好喔好喔好喔好喔

  • So I've literally got one day to basically do this entire project now.

    所以基本上 我只剩一天可以做好報告了

  • I'm pretty ticked about this, but I'm too tired at this point to get angry.

    我還滿不爽的,但是我太累了根本沒辦法生氣起來

  • Like I said, I had a lot of work to do during the week.

    就像我說過的,我有很多工作要做

  • And, I just don't have the energy left to exert being mad.

    那個禮拜我就是沒有精力再去生氣了

  • I woke up at 8:00 the nest morning and got to work.

    我隔天早上8點起床 然後開始動工

  • *Clap* Ok, so first things first!

    *拍掌* 好,開始吧

  • I've gotta edit all our audio together.

    我先把音頻全部放在一起

  • I opened up all our clips and put them into the audio software.

    我把我們的片段全部打開 放進了編輯軟體裡

  • Remember how the video was supposed to be 3-4 minutes long?

    還記得影片要3~4分鐘嗎?

  • THIS WAS 16 MINUTES.

    這可是 1 6 分 鐘

  • WHAT. THE. FRIGG.

    搞 什 麼

  • THAT'S 400% OVER THE LIMIT.

    這樣完全是原本所限制的400%

  • *laughter*

    *笑聲*

  • I'm laughing because it hurts.

    我笑是因為我很痛苦

  • THEIR RECORDINGS WENT PAST THE TIME LIMIT

    他們的音檔加起來超過了限制長度

  • JUST ON THEIR OWN WITHOUT ANYTHING ELSE.

    就他們兩個的 已經可以超過很多了

  • HAH. OH, SHOOT! I guess I'll have to listen to this whole thing and see if I can somehow manage to edit it under the limit!

    哈哈!好喔!我猜我得要把它全部聽完 然後看我能不能把這些剪到限制以下

  • I hit play, and began listening to the recording.

    我按了播放,然後開始聽音檔

  • And I couldn't believe what was playing back to me.

    我根本不敢相信我聽到了什麼

  • This is how much I didn't know the girls in my group:

    從這裡可以看出我對我的組員認知之少:

  • I hadn't even heard their voices before this project!

    在這報告之前我根本沒聽過她們的聲音!

  • The first part was Reneeesme's.

    第一部分的是Reneeesme的

  • And she had the thickest, almost undecipherable Asian accent I have ever some across.

    而她有我聽過史上 最厚重 最無法解讀的亞洲口音

  • I really don't mean to be rude or disrespectful or any of that.

    我不是故意要冒犯 或是不尊重 之類的

  • It's freaking hard to learn a second language.

    學第二語言超級難的

  • Massive props to whoever's bilingual.

    完全支持所有雙語言的人

  • But come on!

    但是 拜託!

  • My roommate came in, and I played her the recording

    我的室友走進來 然後我把音檔播給她聽

  • and her facial expression morphed into a

    她的臉部表情變成了

  • 'I am both in disbelief and extremely sorry for you'

    "我不敢相信而且非常同情你"

  • At one part, Bloodrayne literally recorded herself on her phone in a car

    另外一部分,Bloodrayne根本就是 在車上用手機錄的

  • WOW LOOK AT THIS GREAT AUDIO!111!!!

    哇 聽聽這高品質音頻!!

  • "What are you doing?!"

    你在幹嘛?!

  • OH, JUST RECORDING MY AUDIO FOR MY FINAL PROJECT, NOTHING MUCH! ᕕ ( ᐛ ) ᕗ

    噢,只是在錄我的期末報告而已 沒什麼啦 ᕕ ( ᐛ ) ᕗ

  • I ended up spending two and a half hours just cutting all out audio down!

    結果就是我用了兩個半小時 花在剪輯音檔上!

  • I think it still ended up being like 5 or 6 seconds over, but I couldn't do anything else about it.

    最後大概還是超過了5~6秒吧 但是我已經盡力了

  • And I didn't even have the video potion started.

    而我根本還沒開始做影片的部分

  • So, sparing you all the painful details of how I literally spent the entire day working on the dumb project my myself.

    所以略過 那些我是如何花了一整天 獨力製作這項報告的痛苦細節

  • NO! You know what??! Not even by myself!

    不!你知道嗎?! 比獨力製作還糟糕!

  • My team was literally tripping me up, making me end up doing more work than if I just did it completely on my own!

    我的團隊根本是在拖累我,讓我做了比我 完全自己來 更多的工作!

  • And you know how I kept saying that I was really busy during the week with other things?

    而先前我不是一直說我那禮拜一直都很忙嗎?

  • yeah, I meant busy as in every single day leading up to that Friday, I had a major final exam for a different class to do!

    沒錯,我是指每一天,到禮拜五 我都有不同課程的期末考試要準備!

  • YOU GUYS SUCK >:(

    你 們 爛 透 了 >:(

  • Just as I started exporting the final project, one of my really good friends came by to see if I wanted to go get something to eat.

    就在我上傳期末報告的時候,我其中一個好朋友 走了進來 看看我要不要一起找東西吃

  • He noticed how absolutely awful I looked.

    他注意到我看起來多糟

  • "What happened?"

    發生了什麼事?

  • "i'm dead..."

    我死了:(

  • I spent what was left in the day with a few of my buddies.

    那天剩下的時間 我都跟我的朋友一起

  • Then at 11:30 in the FREAKING PM,

    然後 在他媽的 半夜11點半

  • I get a text from none other than Reneeesme.

    我接到了來自Reneeseme的訊息

  • "How's the video going?"

    影片如何了?

  • Wow, I'm glad you're so concerned with the video that you decided to check up on 30 minutes before the turn-in-time.

    哇,我真高興你選擇在繳交期限前的30分鐘 表達你對這份報告的擔心

  • "I finished it after 8 hours of editing."

    我用了8個小時把它做完了

  • "Oh, cool"

    喔,好喔

  • NOT EVEN A GOD F-FLIPPING THANK YOU.

    甚 至 沒 有 一 個 天殺的— 謝 謝

  • I literally did the entire project for you twats in the span of one day, but I guess a thank you is too much to ask for, my bad, sorry.

    我幾乎就是幫你們兩個爛人 在一天內做完整個報告,但我猜一聲謝謝要求太多了 我的錯,抱歉

  • You know, I'm not an angry person.

    其實我不是個易怒的人

  • Pretty much the opposite.

    應該算是相反

  • And I don't like confrontation.

    而且我不喜歡吵架

  • As absolutely pissed off as I was at these girls, I honestly didn't have any energy left to rant to them about how they were being literal dirtwipes.

    無論我再對這些女生多生氣,我也不會有精力 為了她們當爛人而對她們吼

  • So you know what I did instead?

    所以你知道 取而代之 我做了什麼嗎?

  • I'm the one who's editing the video, right?

    我是負責剪輯影片的人,對吧?

  • I'm the one with complete control over what goes into the final project right?

    我完全掌控期末報告的內容,對吧?

  • It's a dog-eat-dog world out here, boys.

    孩子們,這是個弱肉強食的世界

  • Sometimes the sweetest types of revenge are best executed passive-aggressively after the storm without anyone looking or expecting it.

    有時候最甜蜜的復仇 只能用消極冷處理的方式熬過風暴 趁沒有人注意的時候下手

  • Don't worry, I did end up emailing the professor about this whole thing.

    別擔心,我最後還是寄了e-mail給教授 跟她講這整件事

  • Actually, her response was kind of funny and way more dramatic than I expected.

    實際上,她的回應比我想像中的 有趣 而且很戲劇化

  • I still have it look:

    我還有截圖下來,看:

  • "Jaiden,

    Jaiden,

  • Thank you for the report.

    謝謝你的通報

  • Blah, blah, blah

    啦啦啦

  • This rather serious. Do not contact them.

    這事件滿嚴重的 不要聯絡她們

  • You will not lose credit for your work once I get to the bottom of this, but it is likely they will.

    在我處理完這件事之後,你會得到你應得的學分 她們可能就不會了

  • P.S: well done on working hard and persisting in the face of difficulty.

    附註: 面對困難的工作和處境 你做得很好

  • If you're curious, I think I ended up getting like an 83 on the project, which I'll take!

    如果你好奇的話,我想我後來在這項報告上 得到了83分,我可以接受的!

  • I just wanted to pass! Like, Jesus Christ!

    我只是想要及格而已 像,老天爺啊!

  • I don't know what happened to the other girls or if they failed or not, but I don't care so...

    我不知道其他女生怎麼了,有沒有通過 但是我不在乎,所以...

  • That's that!

    就是這樣!

  • So thanks for watching.

    謝謝觀看

  • Holy crap, this was a long video to animate.

    天啊,這影片的要做的動畫還真多

  • Like, almost 9 freaking minutes.

    幾乎9分多

  • And girls, if you're watching this, I'm sorry, but...

    還有,女孩們 如果你在看這影片,我很抱歉...但是...

  • I hope you failed.

    我希望你們不及格。

Alright, yeah

好啦,好啦

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