#MyWeirdTeacher stories from you guys.

Here we go. The first one is from @Steve-Shu.

He says, "The day after we turned in drafts

of our term papers, the professor wore all black

to signify his disappointment in our work."

[ Laughter and applause ]

-He had to tell them, too.

Wouldn't figure that one out for yourself.

-I'm mourning the loss of your grades, yeah.

This one is from @JonBalun.

He said, "My teacher moved his left hand in circles

as he erased the board with his right hand

so he would build the muscles evenly."

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Wax on, wax off.

-Miyagi. Miyagi, yeah.

This one is from @tinagibala.

She says, "My homeroom teacher kept a list on the chalkboard

of people who needed prom dates."

-Aw. [ Audience aws ]

[ Applause ] Oh.

Tina?

You and Gary. -Derek's been up here for --

[ Light laughter ]

For three weeks now. So anyone wants -- Anyone.

You know anyone who wants to go with Derek, or any --

Do you have any pets at home that could maybe go with Derek?

Just so he doesn't go alone.

This one is from @leighlo-maria.

She said, "My biology teacher handed us back

our graded homework. Every paper was maroon.

She apparently spilled a bottle of red wine."

[ Laughter and applause ]

-Yoinks!

[ Pop ]

-This one's from @Corcorcoran2.

He says, "If it was your birthday, my teacher would draw

a cake on the board and ask you to blow out the candles.

You just had to stand there and blow on the chalkboard

until he said the candles went out."

[ Laughter and applause ]

Not yet! -Not yet!

-Not yet, keep going. [ Laughs ]

-Not yet! -[ Fake crying ]

-Okay. Oh, they're trick candles, they're back on again.

What's your problem, dude?

-I'm in charge! -[ Laughing ] Yeah.

I'm the boss, get it?

This one's from @HBP-ALWAYS98.

She says, "Whenever I ask my teacher what we're doing today,

she says, 'working hard and suffering greatly,

because life is pain.'"

-Oh. [ Applause ]

Wow! -[ Laughs ]

This one's from @mac-ken-cheese.

-Oh, nice. -I get it.

Not bad. Mac n' cheese.

-Mac n' cheese. -Mac Ken Cheese.

-Nice one. -That's a nice one.

-Yeah.

-mac-ken-cheese.

She says, "My chemistry teacher had a taxidermied armadillo

in the classroom. For a while, it wore a party hat

and it was called The Partydillo."

[ Laughter ] -Yeah!

-Whoop whoop whoop!

-Partydillo! -Byeh, byeh, byeh, byeh!

-Raise the roof, Derek!

[ Laughter ]

-The armadillo said that? -Yeah.

[ Laughter ]

-This is from @RaskolnikovsAxe.

-Ooh, deep.

[ Light laughter ]

A little crime and punishment.

Derek.

[ Light laughter ]

-He says, "At the end of a test period,

our science teacher would respond to our

'one more sec, one more sec!' with 'no more secs!'"

[ Laughter ]

"No more secs in this classroom!"

[ Applause ]

I'm talking to you, Derek.

-Yeah.

This last one's from @TheDonald-Stump.

[ Light laughter ]

He says, "My teacher would tell us to work hard in math

and science classes, otherwise we'd end up

as a gym teacher. He was also the gym teacher."

-Oh! -There you go.

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