What?

什麼鬼？

One grain of rice?

就一粒？

Yes, that's what I said, one rice.

對，我就是說一粒米

Hi, guys.

嗨，大家

(exclamations of surprise)

(驚呼聲)

Wow, you got some sun.

哇，看來你曬了點太陽

You noticed.

你們看到了

I can't wait until this glow turns

我等不及這些曬紅的地方

into a beautiful golden tan.

變成漂亮的古銅色了

I think it's a little burnt.

我是覺得這有點曬傷

It's all part of my process.

這些都是過程

I burn myself really good at the end of summer,

在夏天的尾巴把自己曬得紅通通

so it turns into a tan that lasts all winter.

然後在冬天就會變成小麥色了

I don't think that's how it works.

我不覺得會是這樣耶⋯⋯

Yeah.

沒錯啦

Guys I do this every year.

大夥們，我每年都這樣做

I think I know how my body works.

我想我清楚我的身體運作

Whoa!

哇嗚！

Oh, no!

噢，不！

I thought you were burned before, but your body is

我以為妳之前是曬傷，不過妳的身體

so much worse.

更嚴重耶

Yeah, you look like the Canadian flag, just red and white.

對，妳看起來活像加拿大國旗，就是又紅又白的

Thank you.

謝謝你們

It's so nice to see where you started from, you know.

你們知道嗎？看到自己從白到紅的過程，感覺太棒了

No, you're like really burnt.

不，妳真的像是曬傷了

Does that not hurt?

難道不痛嗎？

Yes, that's how I know it's working.

會啊，但我知道這是改變的過程啦

Katie, will you put aloe on my back?

Katie，能幫我在背上擦蘆薈嗎？

Okay.

好吧⋯⋯

Thank you.

感謝妳

(shrieks of disgust)

(感到噁心的尖叫聲)

Oh, good, I'm starting to peel.

噢，好耶！我開始脫皮了呢

That's the next step.

那就是下一步

I can't finish, you have to do the rest.

我沒辦法繼續擦了，你來做剩下的部分

You're molting.

妳在脫皮耶

You guys are just jealous.

你們就是嫉妒罷了

You're going to be rusty, crusty, pale and dusty in October,

你們的皮膚會開始腐爛，然後長硬皮，再來到十月將變得蒼白又超多碎屑

and I'm going to be a golden goddess.

然後我會成為金銅色的女神

I think I got some in my mouth.

我想我的嘴巴吃到一點了

Yes, it's spreading.

沒錯，它開始擴散囉

It looks like you have golf balls in your face.

妳的臉上看起來像是有高爾夫球耶

Ooh, goody, popping blisters is my favorite part.

噢！太讚了，擠破水泡是我最愛的部分

(shrieks of disgust)

(再一次為噁心驚聲尖叫)

Once these blisters heal, I'm going to have the sexiest tan.

當這些水泡好了後，我將有最性感的小麥色

Oh, God, no!

噢，老天，不！

Stop popping.

不要再擠它們了

I think you need medical attention.

我覺得你需要的是去看醫生

Oh, come on, I'm supposed to trust

噢，拜託，我應該要相信

the two most pale people in the office.

辦公室裡最弱的兩個人嗎

It's getting worse.

這變得更糟了

Thank you.

謝謝你們

Oh, no!

噢，不！

It has to get worse before it gets better.

在變得超讚之前，一定得先經歷不好的嘛

You look like Jeff Goldblum in The Fly.

你現在超像科幻恐怖片裡的潰爛的變蠅人

Oh, goody.

噢，棒透了

That means it's time to go on the roof and get a top coat.

這表示是時候去屋頂再曬一層啦

No!

不不不！

This is going to be the sickest tan ever.

這將會是最有病的曬傷囉

(screaming)

(尖叫)

Hi, I'm Cynthia from College Humor.

嗨！我是 College Humor 的 Cynthia

Click here to subscribe.

點這邊來追蹤我們

Click here for more fun stuff.

要看更多影片就點這邊

And now for a wipe breakdown.

現在用不同方式來滑影片吧

Star wipe.

星式滑

Diamond wipe.

鑽石滑

Venetian wipe.

威尼斯人滑

Iris.

彩虹滑