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  • Like it or not, people are making snap decisions about you all the time


  • and oftentimes, they do it without even letting you speak.


  • Quite frankly, you do the same thing to them which is why in this video,


  • Valentine's Day is coming so, we're going to do three subtle things that you can do


  • to be more attractive with your body languagenothing to do with what you're saying.

    來讓你的身體語言更有吸引力 ─ 與你說什麼無關

  • So I'm just gonna jump right into it; the first one is something that people do wrong


  • and that is T-Rex arms.


  • I'm gonna illustrate this with the story because I think it's the easiest way


  • and it was one of the most vivid ways which I learned it.


  • I was in Las Vegas with a friend of mine. I lived there; he came in to visit and if you've ever


  • been to a Las Vegas Club, it can be overwhelming.


  • So we got into this club, it was just the two of us, were not drinking, and he's not from there so, instantly,


  • I see his body language lock down and he starts to get uncomfortable.


  • To his credit, he starts to walk up, he sees a group of women, he walks up and says hello,


  • and it didn't go well; his lack of confidence shines through and they disappear within

    但效果不是很好,因為他看起來缺乏自信,而那群女士約 15-30 秒後都走光了

  • pretty much 15-30 seconds. So I said, "It's alright, man. Don't sweat it. We'll have fun on the dance floor."


  • We go to the dance floor and the same lack of confidence is shining through; he's not moving very much.


  • He's kind of dancing in this little box like a T-Rex. So I say, "Hey, lift your elbows


  • off of your ribcage. Be a little bit more expansive, be expressive, and just dance as goofy as you can."


  • Now, this is silly but he does it and he looks goofy for a minute but really, two things happen.


  • First off, because there's a feedback loop with the way your body works and the way your mind works,


  • as he starts to move in a more expansive way, he starts to feel more confident.


  • And I'm sure you've experienced the same thing or perhaps the reverse when you walk around like this.


  • The second thing that happened is that people started to notice him on the dance floor and we started dancing with some people.


  • Not only that, when we went off the dance floor he maintained those kind of expansive gestures

    不只那樣,當我們離開舞池後,他一樣維持著動作大大的姿勢 ─

  • the pointing like this, moving around, not having his elbows glued to his side...


  • And the next group of women that we spoke to, we wound up hanging out with for the rest of the night in the club


  • and he did that because not only did they see that he was more confident but he felt it too


  • so use expansive gestures no matter where you are.


  • So if you see a friend, you could say, "Hey, what's up?" or you'd say, "What's up, man?"

    當你遇見朋友,你可以說「嘿,最近過得怎樣 ?」 又或者你可以這樣說「你最近過得怎樣啊 ?」

  • That's an expanse gesture. If Somebody asks you for directions, you could say, "Hey, I think it's that way,"


  • or you could say, "I think it's that way." That is an expansive gesture and it's going to do


  • much more to make you be perceived as confident and of course, attractive.


  • The second thing, again, that people do wrong is seeking behavior.


  • The classic seeking behavior, you may have seen in a bar, is two guys standing at a bar


  • and they're buddies and you could tell because they're close to each other


  • but they're not looking at each other; they're looking out there.


  • And what they're broadcasting to the world as they peer is that the fun is not here.


  • The fun, the interesting thing, or whatever it is that they're looking for is outside


  • of themselves and that is an incredibly unattractive thing to broadcast.


  • Contrast that with magnetic body language


  • and what magnetic body language is telling other people before I kind of show you what it might be is that the fun is where you are


  • because we all are very, very finely socially attuned people


  • and when we're out at a bar or a party or club or any kind of social setting,


  • we tend to want to know where the fun is and then we put ourselves near that.


  • So fun would be facing the person that you came there with.


  • When you're in conversation with them not looking over your shoulder trying to find


  • something more interesting to do but being engaged in that conversation,


  • using your expansive body language, laughing loudly, and having a good time.


  • Now, I'm not saying to fake this stuff; I'm saying to actually do it.


  • And in fact, it doesn't have to just be with your group of friends.


  • Something else that I see in terms of body language is people will kind of walk around


  • spaces during parties, clubs, bars, or whatever almost as if they were looking


  • for something and they do loops and I'm guilty of this myself.


  • Instead, have fun with whoever you are near; whoever's there, strike up a conversation.


  • Say hellowhatever it takesbecause that is magnetic.

    說「哈囉 !」,不惜一切代價,因為這就是吸引力

  • And when you start pulling people into that group, amazing things happen.


  • A quick story to illustrate thismany years ago when I lived in New York City,

    我將用一個故事來說明 ─ 多年以前,當我住在紐約市的時候

  • Ben who was my best friend and my co-founder was an investment banker.

    Ben 是我最好的朋友,也是我的聯合創始人,一個銀行投資人

  • And they worked a lot of hours so he got one night off; he and his buddies went out to a club and they were so happy to be there.


  • They were extremely excited, they were laughing, talking to each other, having a great time and people noticed.


  • So what Ben did, because he was just having a great time, was as people kinda

    Ben 因為玩得很開心

  • overheard their conversation and chimed in and he would bring them into the conversation


  • so that started to grow. He went to the bathroom.


  • If he was standing in line for the bathroom, perhaps somebody was standing in line


  • at the bathroom just kind of quietly and because he was in such a good mood,

    但因為 Ben 玩得很開心,心情很好

  • he started including them as well; he'd bring them back.


  • In this way, he started to grow this core group until somebody came up to him and said,


  • "Hey, are you working?" and he said, "No, I'm not working. If I was working I wouldn't be here."

    「嘿,你現在是在工作嗎 ? 」而 Ben 回「沒有,我不是在工作。如果我在工作我就不會來這了。」

  • The guy said, "Oh. Sorry, man. I thought that you were a club promoter just based on the amount of people that you had here."


  • Since you're not, maybe you want to come out with me." He gave his card

    「既然你不是在工作,或許你也可以加入我。」然後他給 Ben 名片

  • and this wound up being someone that we went out with for probably the next year


  • to the best clubs in New York City, we got in for free, we cut the line, and we were


  • drinking at the time because we were young twenties, and we got free alcohol as well.


  • The point of this is this is a body language thing is a talking thing but it's —

    重點是,雖然這種身體語言涉及到與別人搭話 ─

  • don't look and behave and act and feel wherever you are as if the fun is out there.


  • Have fun with whoever is nearby. So just think, if you're ever being bored standing in line


  • waiting for the cashier or wherever, make sure that in your immediate periphery,


  • there's always someone around you, strike up a conversation with them,


  • do your expansive body language all that kind of stuff, and this is going to make people


  • who can't even hear your conversation drawn to you; this is the magnetism we talk about


  • so that is the second thing. The third thing is something that I see particularly, again,


  • in clubs and bars but that's just where this body language stuff is most pronounced


  • is when groups go out because groups of guys tend to go out with groups of guys and


  • groups of women tend to go out with groups of women


  • and what happens is, when they meet, they stay in the group.


  • You've got a group of three guys lined up over here and


  • the girls lined up over here and it looks like a sixth-grade dance


  • where they're just both standing against the wall waiting for somebody cross over.


  • Even if that conversation goes well, it can feel like two groups are kind of interrogating or interviewing each other.


  • A much more powerful body language thing that you can do


  • is to stagger this to boy-girl, boy-girl, and boy-girl. How do you do this?

    男女生交錯穿插站著。那要如何做到呢 ?

  • It's actually very simple. When you walk up to a group with your buddies


  • you say hello and you're introducing yourselves — a very simple thing that you can do


  • is just as you're shaking hands to step in and stand next to as opposed to across from the person that you said hi to


  • to make room for your friends who might be saying hi as well.


  • If that's not something that you're comfortable with or that doesn't happen the beginning of the conversation, again, very simple


  • just wait until you guys have been talking and if you notice that this happens, say,


  • "Hold on. This feels like we're at a sixth-grade dance with all the boys on one wall


  • and all the girls at the other; let's stagger this," and you can just move yourself over,

    而所有女生也排排站在牆的另一邊,我們交錯站吧 !」然後你自己就先移動定位

  • "Go here. Okay, here. Better. Now we look and feel like a group of friends,"


  • and people will laugh because it's funny and it's true and then you're out there and you're doing it.


  • So that will change the dynamic of the group and you can have the same conversation


  • and it's going to go much better and you'll be perceived as more attractive for being a leader and for setting that up.


  • Those are the three subtle things but I'd be remiss if I didn't do one more


  • perhaps more obvious thing but you got to include it in body language and it's smiling.


  • This is the simplest thing to makeyou'll be perceived as more attractive,


  • friendlier, and more approachable. We've got a video on the perfect smile; I won't go


  • into it in detail here but I couldn't leave out of this video.


  • All of these things fall under the realm of things that typically high self-esteem people do


  • fairly naturally and while you can start to layer the behaviors on before the self-esteem


  • is there, it's helpful to take a two-pronged approach, right? But the behaviors on,

    採取雙管齊下的方式是會有幫助的,對吧 ?

  • you can fake it until you make it but also begin to develop that self-esteem internally


  • which is why I want to recommend, thanks to our sponsor for this videoAudible

    這也是我想建議的。感謝部影片的贊助商 ─ Audible ─

  • the audiobook Six Pillars of Self-Esteem by Nathaniel Branden.

    有聲書 Six Pillars of Self-Esteem 作者 Nathaniel Branden

  • And when you sign up for a free 30-day trial of Audible today via our link

    如果你註冊 Audible 免費 30 天試用,用以下連結

  •, you can go and get that audiobook Six Pillars of Self-Esteem. 你可以得到有聲書 Six Pillars of Self-Esteem

  • It is absolutely amazing; it's one of my favorite booksit's my top two or three favorite


  • books in my life — I highly recommend it and you can listen to it which is a nice thing


  • on your way to work, on your commute, or wherever you are, if you take this free trial with Audible.

    可以在你工作、通勤或任何時候聽,如果你註冊 Audible 免費試用

  • Get that book plus they've got a huge library of other audiobooks that you can listen to


  • no matter where you are in the world so if you want to get that 30-day free trial,

    不論你在哪邊,所以如果你想得到 30 天免費試用

  • just go to or you can actually text "charisma" to 500-500 to get started.

    去 網站或去 500-500 打關鍵字 charisma 開始使用

  • Thank you to our sponsor, Audible, for allowing us to make this video.

    感謝我們的贊助商 Audible 贊助這部影片

  • I hope that you guys enjoyed it. If you have any questions, go ahead and leave them in the comments below.


  • And if you want to see more like this make sure to subscribe and of course to hit that


  • notification bell so you don't miss any other tips.


  • Have a happy and wonderful Valentine's Day and no matter who you're with,


  • be magnetic and have a good time with the people around and I'll see you in the next video.

    當個具有吸引力的人,與身旁的人都有好時光,下部影片見 !

Like it or not, people are making snap decisions about you all the time


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這三個動作,讓你馬上看起來更吸引人! (3 Body Language Tips To Instantly Look More Attractive)

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    Evangeline 發佈於 2018 年 08 月 26 日