A2 初級 美國腔 3548 分類 收藏
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I would never go to an Indian guy that became a doctor.
Especially one that was born and raised in this part of the world, f*ck that.
Cause if we were born and raised here you had real dreams, and it was never to become a doctor.
Let's be honest. I would go to an Indian woman.
Cause when an Indian woman becomes a doctor, that means she really wanted to be a doctor.
Cause even her parents like, "Sweetie. You don't have to become a doctor,
You can just marry a doctor."
She's like, "F*ck you. I wanna be a doctor." I need that kind of determination from my doctor.
You know, well you had dreams in your 14 years old, right, Sandeep? But it wasn't to be a doctor.
That's not what a fourteen-year-old dreams about it. 14 year old has dreams that are
ridiculous, that your dream at 14 should never be
logical. It should just be the dumbest shit you're doing at 14. I'll tell you what my dream was when I was 14.
It wasn't to be a comedian. I didn't even know this job existed.
My dream, it'll make you feel better about whatever your dream was.
My dream at fourteen here's I thought I was going to do with the rest of my life. I thought I
wanted to be a dancer.
Alright, first of all, f*ck you, all right.
Second of all, I'm not a stripper. I would I was a breakdancer like, yo I'm going to do this sh*t forever.
Not a realistic goal, though.
What was your dream when you're a fourteen-year-old boy growing up on the mean streets of Mississauga?
Sandeep, now be honest, don't make no bullsh*t up.
huh?
A musician. Did you play an instruments?
Oh well good. That's a good start. I always. I don't have Indian guys
You know yell out shit that they never did? I wanted to be in the NBA
Did you play basketball ?
not once,
just love Giant Black men
Y'know just-
What instrument did you play?
Guitar, you good?
You still throw down on it?
Yeah, so you wanted to be a musician-I know what happened tell me if I'm right.
You're about 17-18 years old you're sitting in your room playing with your
"guitar."
And your mom walked in, and you were thinking I'm going to be a musician, your mom walked in, and then "Sandoo"
Cause that's all you need to do for an Indian nickname.
All you need to add 2 o's to whatever you want the nickname to be.
"Sandoo" like look what Edward and Edwoo. Well that could be your name, Ed Wu. Sorry, that, um, that didn't work cause,
He might very well be an Ed Wu, yeah.
Your mom walked in, "Sandoo."
You're going to college, why don't you become a doctor?
You're like what's wrong with your face?
If you become a doctor you can fix it!
So you put your guitar down and picked up,
stethoscope and it was all over, after that, that's why I could never go to you.
I don't want my doctor to have had other dreams about being something else. My doctor in America is
going to be a black guy,
from the hood, who grew up with every disadvantage, real hood, like in the hood hood like where the-where people, were like you could
Yo cuz! Let's go kill some motherf*ckers today!
I want my doctor to be the guy that said "No Man!"
I'm gonna be a doctor!
And everybody in the hood was like "Ain't nobody gonna f*ck with the Pharaoh."
He's gonna be a doctor and sh*t.
That time I know I got the right doctor cause he'll say "and sh*t" at the end of sentences.
He'll look pissed off when I walk into the doctors office. That's the doctor I want. Alright Mr. Peters,
Seems your nasal passage's inflamed and sh*t.
You fill out this little bi*ch-a** prescription
Holla at me tomorrow, Motherf*cker
That's the right doctor for me-I don't want my doctor to be some bratty Indian kid who grew up in Mississauga
Halfway through an operation. Just goes f*ck this sh*t.
I wanna play guitar and then goes (funny noises).
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Russell Peters 超爆笑獨角喜劇「印度醫生」( "Indian Doctors" | Russell Peters - Almost Famous)

3548 分類 收藏
Samuel 發佈於 2018 年 8 月 4 日
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