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  • Oh, you're a beautiful audience.

    喔!你們真是漂亮的觀眾

  • It's a beautiful day in June.

    這是六月美好的一天

  • Obviously, I don't have to tell you it's June.

    顯然地,我沒必要告訴你們現在是六月

  • Why am I saying it's June?

    為什麼我要說現在是六月?

  • You're like, "I know it's June, Ellen."

    你們就像這樣 : 「我知道現在是六月,Ellen。」

  • You know, I always look good when I come out here

    你們知道的,我上台的時候看起來總是還不錯,

  • because I know you're going to look good.

    因為我知道你們也會很好

  • And people ask me often,

    常常有人問我,

  • "What's the secret to looking good, Ellen?"

    「讓自己看起來很不錯的秘密是什麼,Ellen?」

  • And they're usually on the side of me.

    他們通常站在我旁邊

  • And I say to them, I tell them it's very simple.

    然後我告訴他們,這非常簡單

  • "I get sleep.

    「我睡眠充足

  • I eat healthy.

    吃得健康

  • And 20 years ago, I made a deal with witch. "

    而且 20 年前有和女巫作過交易。」

  • [LAUGHTER]

    [LAUGHTER]

  • I know every year, there are new beauty trends out there.

    我知道每年都會有新的美容趨勢

  • I thought I would show you some interesting ones that I found.

    我也找到一些有趣的東西,打算給你們看

  • I take care of my teeth.

    我很照顧我的牙齒

  • I think it's very important.

    我認為它們非常重要

  • I brush my teeth several times a day.

    我一天會刷牙好幾次

  • I floss-- very important to floss everybody-- floss.

    還有剔牙-- 各位,剔牙真的非常重要 -- 剔牙

  • Yeah.

  • Flossing.

    剔牙

  • [APPLAUSE]

    [鼓掌]

  • Woohoo, flossing.

    Woohoo,剔牙!(flossing 也有刻意引起別人注目的意思)

  • [APPLAUSE]

    [鼓掌]

  • But here's the thing.

    還有件事

  • This is a new toothpaste I found.

    這是我找到的新牙膏

  • I would not use this.

    我不會用它的

  • This is charcoal toothpaste.

    這是木炭口味的牙膏

  • It's the same as regular toothpaste.

    它和一般的牙膏一樣

  • But you put it on your toothbrush,

    但你將它擠在牙刷上

  • and then you look like this when you're brushing your teeth.

    然後刷著你的牙齒,就會變成這副模樣

  • It looks like you just ate a sleeve of Oreos.

    看起來像剛吃完一筒 Oreos

  • Then after you're done, your teeth

    然後你刷完牙,你的牙齒

  • are supposed to look much whiter.

    看起來應該要更白

  • Well, of course, they're going to look whiter.

    呃,當然,它們會變白

  • I mean, after that, you're like, " look at my teeth,

    我是指,之後你就會像這樣 : 「看看我的牙齒,

  • they're white. "

    它們好白。」

  • The next thing is something I saw on Instagram.

    下一個東西是我在 Instagram 上看到的

  • It's for your eyebrows.

    和你們的眉毛有關

  • Eyebrows are important.

    眉毛很重要

  • They're like a mustache for your forehead.

    它們就像額頭上的鬍子

  • And this is something called "fishtail eyebrows".

    這就是所謂的「魚尾眉毛」

  • Has anyone seen that before?

    有人曾經看過嗎?

  • Yeah.

    Yeah.

  • It's a thing.

    這很重要。

  • Actually I think I can explain it.

    事實上,我想我能解釋

  • You know the movie, The Shape of Water,

    你們都知道 <水底情深> 這部電影,

  • where the lady has sex with a fish.

    就是一個女人和一隻魚發生關係的那部

  • This is the kid.

    這就是他們的小孩

  • This is--

    這是--

  • Finally, there's a massage treatment that's

    最後,有個按摩治療,

  • very popular in Indonesia.

    在印尼非常流行

  • It's called "snake massage".

    它叫「蛇式按摩」

  • It's not what it sounds like.

    它不是聽起來的那樣

  • Look.

  • I'm kidding.

    開玩笑的

  • It is.

    它是

  • It's exactly what it sounds like.

    它正是聽起來的那樣

  • I know it looks scary, but they don't use dangerous snakes.

    我知道這看起來很恐怖,但他們不會拿有危險性的蛇

  • I'm kidding again.

    這也是開玩笑的

  • They use 6-foot pythons.

    他們用 6 呎長的蟒蛇。

  • And I don't know how someone comes up with that idea,

    我不懂怎麼會有人想出這個點子,

  • to say let's try a snake massage or how someone chooses that.

    去告訴大家「讓我們來試試這個蛇式按摩」,又有誰會選擇去嘗試

  • You're looking at, and you check into the hotel.

    你正看著,邊登記入住飯店

  • " I need a massage--

    「我需要按摩--

  • Swedish, shiatsu, hot stone, deep tissue, snake massage.

    瑞典式按摩、指壓按摩、熱石療法、深層組織按摩、蛇式按摩

  • Yes, I'd like a 90-minute snake massage, please."

    喔!請幫我來個90分鐘的蛇式按摩。」

  • I'm reading off of the--

    我正在讀完這--

  • It's not written on my hand.

    它沒寫在我手上

  • I should have held it like that.

    我剛剛應該要像這樣子拿的

  • That's what I should have done.

    應該是要這樣弄

  • Apparently with a snake massage, they

    很明顯地,透過蛇式按摩,他們

  • offer a happy ending, which I think that's where you live.

    提供一個快樂的結局,而我覺得那就是你住的地方

  • I think, that happy ending is you just live.

    我覺得,那個快樂的結局就是你們還活著

  • They say it's very relaxing, so let's relax.

    他們說那是很放鬆的,那就讓我們輕鬆一下吧

  • I know people are freaked out by snakes,

    我知道人們都非常怕蛇,

  • so I'm going to warn you.

    所以我要提醒你們

  • It's only for a few seconds, but this is

    只有幾秒鐘,但這就是

  • the snake massage they offer.

    他們提供的蛇式按摩

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

    [音樂聲]

  • How is that relaxing?

    那樣的放鬆覺得如何?

  • And she's doing nothing.

    然後她什麼都沒做

  • She's just standing there.

    她只是站在那

  • She came up with it.

    她過來就為了這個

  • She's like, "I'm tired of working so hard.

    她看起來就像 : 「我厭倦了這樣努力工作。

  • I'm just going to dump snakes on somebody's back."

    我現在只想把蛇扔在別人的背上。」

Oh, you're a beautiful audience.

喔!你們真是漂亮的觀眾

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