and while introverts are most often portrayed as being shy and awkward, and extroverts as being charismatic and sociable, it isn't always the case

To give an example most people think that stand-up comedians

are all super extroverted because they go on stage in front of a whole crowd

But in practice most of their time is spent writing, not performing. Even someone as famous as Louis C.K has called himself an introvert

Despite the fact that he's performed in front of, what, a dozen women?

So what does being introverted or extroverted actually mean?

and the first thing is that you're not entirely one or the other. You're somewhere on a normal distribution or bell curve

that runs from total introversion on one side to total extraversion on the other side

Which means almost everyone is actually around the middle. You might have heard some people in this category called themselves ambiverted,

But they're actually just average. Now the simplest definition of the two extremes is that extroverts are energized by social interaction

while introverts are exhausted by it, and prefer more time alone. Problem here is that it's easy to self-diagnose without comparing yourself to anyone

But it only really makes sense if you give a group of people a few dozen hypothetical situations

And then rank order their responses relative to everyone else. So you're not way off at the end of the introvert spectrum

just because you only rate your Uber™️ driver five stars if he doesn't talk to you

You're probably just on a different sort of spectrum

So without quizzing you on every detail of your life, what are the signs that you're more introverted or extroverted?

So extroverts tend to have a lot of acquaintances, while introverts don't.

This is of course because extroverts tend to meet more people

But also because they're more likely to say,

"Oh boy, I'm not doing anything on Sunday, and I haven't seen Cindy for a month

I should ask her for coffee, and I can see how her new job is going."

Where as an introvert is more likely to say, "Oh boy, I'm not doing anything on Sunday."

...

Extroverts experience more positive emotion, or at least experience positive emotion more intensely.

This means they're more enthusiastic and excitable.

This is interesting because if you take something like a concert in control for drugs and alcohol

The people near the front will tend to be more extroverted, while people who are more introverted will be further away from the stage

Like at home. So, behaviorally, extroverts might seem to act first and think later,

But I think a better description would be that extroverts tend to experience more and reflect less

while introverts experience less and reflect more.

In a way you could say the biggest fear of an introvert is losing their hearing, because then they couldn't listen,

Whereas the biggest fear of an extrovert would be losing their tongue, because then they couldn't eat ass.

Now you might wonder if your degree of introversion or extroversion changes as you get older

or if you're stuck how you are forever, and for things like how much positive emotion you experience,

it doesn't look like that changes much.

However, some people make the argument that the things that happen to you during your life can change the way you process emotions

I don't know for sure, but anecdotally, I have never experienced much positive emotion since the big accident:

Being conceived.

Ultimately, it's no better or worse to be introverted or extroverted

As long as your behavior really is a preference and what you're doing with your time is meaningful to you

With that said some extroverts might socialize to avoid personal development, and some introverts might like to have more friends than they do,

but are anxious or lack social skills

So whatever your disposition, you have to spend time with people and you have to spend time alone

So make sure you're not being avoidant, or it can lead to some pretty big blind spots.

For me, I remember back when Tinder™️ first came out, my friends decided I had to go in at least one date

Just for the sake of it because I didn't usually meet many new people

Now the thing is I didn't have much sexual experience at the time

I mean I still don't, but I didn't then either, so when I got a match eventually, I asked them out to a movie

because I like watching movies, and I thought that's what a date was.

Now what I didn't realize was that when you're watching a movie

You don't really see or interact with the other person at all the whole time

So we were just sitting there with each other in complete darkness not saying a word as we ate from our own bag of popcorn

Then two and a half hours later when the movie ended and the house lights came on

We looked at each other and said "Good movie, huh?" "Yeah pretty good."

And that was the whole date

So, yeah… five stars.

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