What up, everyone. It's your girl Superwoman, and it's a regular day, alright.

大家好我是你們的女超人 今天是平常的一天，好嗎

So you're having that relationship talk with one of your friends.

所以，你正在和你的一個朋友談戀愛。

Honestly, I can't even imagine being in a relationship right now.

老實說，我現在根本無法想象談戀愛的樣子。

Totally.

完全是

It's like I'm too independent, you know?

這就像我太獨立了，你知道嗎？

For sure!

當然！

Also, I don't need to seek validation from someone else's love.

而且，我不需要從別人的愛中尋求肯定。

You don't need no validation.

你不需要驗證。

I'm just too, like, woke as a person, you know?

我只是太清醒了，你知道嗎？

Like I'm drinking a kale smoothie right now.

就像我現在正在喝羽衣甘藍冰沙一樣。

This is gluten-free, cruelty-free, a recyclable cup.

這款杯子不含麩質、無公害、可回收。

This company, they employ abandoned puppies, yeah.

這家公司僱傭了被遺棄的小狗

So I can't do all of this plus be in a relationship, it's too much work.

所以，我不能既做這些事，又談戀愛，太累了。

And then she hits you with:

然後她打你

I heard Kenny has a crush on you.

我聽說肯尼看上你了

What?

什麼？

Yeah, Kenny told me he has a crush on you.

是的 肯尼告訴我他喜歡你

Kenny has a crush on you.

肯尼看上你了

Kenny has a crush on you.

肯尼看上你了

Kenny has a crush on you.

肯尼看上你了

Kenny has a crush on you.

肯尼看上你了

Kenny has a crush on you.

肯尼看上你了

- Hurry the hell up. - Someone has a crush on me.

- 快點- 有人暗戀我

Ho, call me a parking ticket 'cause I just got validated.

嗬，給我來張違章停車罰單吧，因為我剛拿到了有效罰單。

When you find out someone has a crush on you, on the outside, you might act like you're un-phased but on the inside, you're like, "Yo, I'm the most bomb person on the planet."

當你發現有人對你有好感時，表面上你可能會表現得不慌不忙，但內心卻在想，"喲，我是這個星球上最有炸彈的人"。

And for some reason it makes you wanna be even hotter.

出於某種原因，這讓你想變得更性感。

Like let me put in a little bit of extra effort and see who else I can snatch on these streets.

比如，讓我再加把勁，看看還能在這些街道上抓到誰。

Yeah, let me catch these crushes like Pokemon.

是啊，讓我像抓寵物小精靈一樣抓住這些暗戀對象吧。

Just absolutely feeling myself.

完全是自我感覺良好。

Feeling myself all on the 'gram.

感覺自己都上了'gram'。

Feeling myself while staying hydrated.

在保持水分的同時感受自己。

Feeling myself in my bed.

感覺自己躺在床上

Lilly?

莉莉？

Get out, I'm busy!

出去，我很忙

And all of this leads to phase one of someone having a crush on you: the lead on.

這一切都會導致某人對你產生好感的第一階段：引誘。

Now I hate to say it, when someone has a crush on you—shut-up, shut-up. You're gonna deny this. Shut you face!

我不想這麼說 當有人暗戀你的時候 閉嘴 閉嘴你會否認的閉上你的嘴

When someone has a crush on you, whether you like them back or not, you are going to lead them on.

當有人對你有好感時，無論你是否喜歡他，你都會去引導他。

Why? Because it's human nature.

為什麼？因為這是人之常情。

Why for real? 'Cause it makes you feel powerful.

為什麼是真的？因為這會讓你感覺自己很強大

You go hit them with the mild interactions like, yo, I'ma drop this pencil in front of you, I'ma bend over, I'ma allow you to look at this booty, okay.

你要用溫和的互動方式去打動他們，比如，我把這支鉛筆放在你面前，我彎下腰，讓你看看我的戰利品，好嗎。

Consider it a charitable donation.

就當是慈善捐款吧。

Wait, don't charities only take non-damaged goods?

等等，慈善機構不是隻接受未損壞的物品嗎？

Shut the eff up, zoomed in Lilly.

閉嘴，放大莉莉。

It's like reverse flirting like, "You have a crush on me, okay, cool, yeah. Let me talk to you here and there, you know, make your day."

這就像反向調情一樣 "你對我有好感，好吧，酷，是的。讓我跟你說說話，讓你開心一下"

Um, hey, I'm totally lost, can you help me?

嗯，嘿，我完全迷路了，你能幫我嗎？

But I wasn't lost, I just enjoy the power of making someone nervous.

但我並沒有迷失，我只是喜歡讓人緊張的力量。

Uh, it's a factorial so you just, multiply each one by n.

呃，這是一個階乘，所以你只要把每個乘以 n 就可以了。

(Wrong.) Is that summation?

(錯）這是總結嗎？

Yeah,uh, they're the same thing.

是的，呃，它們是一回事。

Wrong, he was so wrong.

錯了，他錯得離譜。

Maybe he only had skills in picking beautiful crushes.

也許他只有挑選美麗的暗戀對象的本領。

This leads to phase two: delusions.

這就進入了第二階段：妄想。

When someone has a crush on you, you start to read into everything they do and you conclude like, "Yo, this person's life revolves around me, psh, obviously."

當一個人對你有好感時 你就會開始解讀他所做的一切 然後得出結論："喲，這個人的生活就是圍繞著我轉的，噓，很明顯"

And you throw them a pity party every opportunity you have because, damn, it must be so hard to have a crush on someone as fine as you.

你一有機會就會給他們開憐憫派對，因為，該死的，暗戀一個像你這麼優秀的人一定很不容易。

Aww, look at him over there just crushing on me so hard.

哎喲，你看他在那邊對我愛理不理的。

He's literally just drinking juice.

他簡直就是在喝果汁。

Duh, the juice is a metaphor for how he's bottling up his emotions for me.

咄，果汁是一個隱喻，他是如何為我把他的情感裝進瓶子裡的。

I think he might just be thirsty.

我想他可能只是渴了。

Exactly, he's so thirsty, he's practically shaking.

沒錯，他渴得都快發抖了。

He's just shaking his juice.

他只是在搖晃他的果汁。

You know, when he talks to me, he chokes.

他跟我說話時會哽咽

(coughs)

（咳嗽聲）

Oh my god, I think he's actually choking.

天哪，我覺得他真的噎住了。

(coughs)

（咳嗽聲）

He literally dies over me.

他真的為我而死。

(coughs)

（咳嗽聲）

I think Kenny just died.

我想肯尼剛剛死了。

It's like watching an episode of South Park over and over again.

這就像反覆觀看《南方公園》的一集。

Poor Kenny, he used to have a crush on me.

可憐的肯尼，他曾經暗戀過我。

Are you okay?

你還好嗎？

Now for this, one of two things are gonna happen alright?

現在，有兩件事會發生，好嗎？

Number one: You like the person back and ya'll go and get jiggy with it.

第一：你喜歡的人回來了，你就去和他狂歡。

Number two: You don't.

第二：你不知道。

And when you don't, it's just another regular day except the idea of romance has been infiltrated into your mind,

而當你不這樣做的時候，除了浪漫的想法已經滲入你的腦海之外，這只是又一個普通的日子、

so you're having a conversation with your friend like:

所以你和你朋友的對話是：

I can honestly imagine myself in a relationship these days.

老實說，我可以想象自己現在的戀愛狀態。

Totally.

完全是

You know, it's nice to depend on people sometimes.

要知道，有時候依靠別人也是件好事。

For sure.

當然。

I even stopped recycling and eating healthy because I'm like, what's the point, people crush on me either way.

我甚至停止了循環利用和健康飲食，因為我想，這有什麼意義呢，不管怎樣，人們都會喜歡我。

I think I'm just like, naturally quirky and attractive.

我覺得我就像，天生古怪又有魅力。

And then she hits you with: I heard Kenny doesn't like you anymore.

然後她打你我聽說肯尼不再喜歡你了

What?

什麼？

Yeah, Kenny he likes Tricia now, he told me.

是啊，肯尼他現在喜歡特里西婭了，他告訴我的。

Thus entering phase three: the break up.

由此進入第三階段：分手。

Yo, straight up, breaking up with someone you're not in a relationship with is the worst.

喲，直說了吧，和沒談戀愛的人分手是最糟糕的。

How dare you not be dating me, and be cheating on me.

你怎麼敢不和我約會，還欺騙我。

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, listen, hey, hey, hey.

哇 哇 哇 聽著 嘿 嘿 嘿

What's all this with you not liking me anymore.

你不喜歡我了，這是怎麼回事？

Hey, well, I thought you weren't into me.

我還以為你不喜歡我呢

So that's it, what you're not gonna like fight for me?

就這樣，你不喜歡為我而戰？

Fight who?

打誰？

Anyone, honestly is chivalry dead?

有沒有人，老實說，騎士精神死了嗎？

I'm sorry, I like Tricia now.

對不起，我現在喜歡特里西婭了。

No, no, you don't. Listen, focus, okay, I am your crush.

不，不，你沒有聽著，專心點，我是你的暗戀對象

But you said you didn't like me.

但你說過你不喜歡我。

That's irrelevant.

這無關緊要。

Listen, you're supposed to have a crush on me for a really long time.

聽著，你應該暗戀我很久了。

Why? because it makes me feel good.

為什麼？

God, you know nothing about girls.

天啊，你對女孩一無所知

Okay, fine, I like you?

好吧，好吧，我喜歡你？

Damn straight you like me.

你他媽就是喜歡我

Now pull yourself together, God, you're practically drooling over me.

振作點，天啊，你都快對我流口水了

He has a crush on me.

他喜歡我

What?

什麼？

And all of this is my cheeky way of saying that I have a huge crush.

我厚顏無恥地告訴你，我非常喜歡你。

Ah, sike, go to the end card.

啊，賽克，去看終結卡。

Yo, my lipstick matches my shirt okay?

喲，我的口紅和我的襯衫很配，好嗎？

For that alone, give this video a thumbs up.

僅憑這一點，就請為這段視頻豎起大拇指。

Check out my last video right over there.

請看我上一段視頻。

Second vlog channel right over there.

第二個 Vlog 頻道就在那邊。

Yo, super 60 starts right now, which means for the next hour, I'll be responding to comments down below, so go ahead and comment, make sure you subscribe because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.

超級 60 現在開始，也就是說，在接下來的一個小時裡，我會回覆下面的評論，請繼續評論，確保訂閱，因為我每週一和週四都會製作新視頻。

One love, Superwoman.

一愛一你的女超人

That is a wrap and zoop!

這是一個包裹和 "嗚嗚 "聲！