There are so many superhero movies this year.

今年有很多超級英雄電影，

Besides "Avengers: Infinity War," we've already had "Black Panther,"

除了「復仇者聯盟3:無限之戰」，還有已經上映的「黑豹」，

and pretty soon

很快就有會

there'll be "Ant-man and the Wasp," "Aquaman," Venom".

「蟻人與黃蜂女」、「水行俠」、「猛毒」。

I mean, at what point will audiences say,

我想說，觀眾什麼時候才會說:

"Enough with the superheroes"?

「我已經看夠超級英雄了」?

-Is it "Deadpool 2"? I bet it's "Deadpool 2".

-是看「死侍 2」嗎? 我賭一定是看「死侍 2」。

What!

什麼！

What!

什麼！

Look at that!

看！

Deadpool?

死侍?

Holy cow!

我的天！

Deadpool, star of the movie "Deadpool."

死侍，電影「死侍」的主角。

Please, no one stand up.

好了，不用起立，

It's CBS.

這裡是 CBS，

I know how old your audience is.

我知道你們都年紀大了。

Well, Wade, may I call you Wade?

Wade，我可以叫你 Wade 嗎?

Absolutely.

當然。

I'm in the middle of my monologue right here.

我正在獨白呢！

You do realize I'm doing a show right now?

你知道我正在錄節目吧?

Don't be disgusting Stephen.

少來了，Stephen，

This is a great opportunity for me to promote my new movie,

這是宣傳我的新電影

"Deadpool 2," in theaters Friday.

「死侍 2」的好機會，星期五會在電影院上映。

And, yes, I would love to be your guest tonight.

而且，是的，我願意今晚當你的節目嘉賓，

Thank you for asking.

謝謝你的邀請。

Well, that would be great.

那真是太好了，

Obviously-- yeah, hey, what's up?

很明顯地，怎麼了？

I can do that, too.

我也可以讓觀眾歡呼的！

That would be--well, obviously, that would be lovely,

那將會，很明顯地，那會很棒，

But I already have a guest.

但是我已經有嘉賓了。

It's Academy Award winner Jamie Foxx.

是奧斯卡獎得主 JAMIE FOXX。

I see.

我了解了。

Well, he's got boyish charm for days.

他的男孩魅力依舊不減，

I, for one, loved his work in "Back to the Future 2".

我也很喜歡他在「回到未來 2」的表現。

That's-- that's a-- that's a different Fox.

那是不同的 Fox。

I'll be the judge of that.

我會自己判斷，

I'll tell you who should not be on your show: Ryan Reynolds.

我會告訴你誰不該上你的節目，就是 Ryan Reynolds，

Huge ***

大***

He's like the poor man's version of Ryan Reynolds,

他就像窮人版的 Ryan Reynolds，

and like the rich man's version of my most recent turd.

有錢版的我最近的大便。

Okay, I think you should go now.

好吧，我想你該離開了，

You're absolutely right, you're absolutely right, Jimmy.

你是對的，你是對的，Jimmy。

I should go.

我該走了，

I should go ahead

我該繼續

and read the rest of your monologue.

並幫你讀完你剩下的獨白。

Oh, really?

真的嗎？

You think you could do this, both stand and read jokes?

你覺得你可以？一邊站著一邊唸笑話？

You know, in our own way, we late-night hosts

你知道，以我們深夜脫口秀主持人的方式，

are basically superheroes.

我們基本上就是英雄。

Because you're all mostly white men?

因為你們大多都是白人？

Come on

少來了，

Come on, give me those glasses.

來吧，把眼鏡給我，

Let's go.

我們來試試。

Be careful with those.

小心我的眼鏡。

Let's do this.

我們來試試。

All right.

好吧。

Hello!

哈囉！

I''m Stephen Colbert.

我是 Stephen Colbert。

And I'm legally blind.

我實際上跟瞎子沒兩樣，

You know, you're not going to believe this,

你知道，你們不會相信的，

but Donald Trump is in the news.

但是 Donald Trump 上新聞了，

the administration is still dealing with the fallout from

政府還在處理

Trump announcing that the U.S. will be pulling out of the Iran Deal.

Trump 宣布美國將會退出《伊朗核問題全面協議》的爛攤子。

It's Trump's biggest pulling out blunder since Eric.

上次 Trump 退出失敗，就多了他的兒子 Eric，

And president Trump spent the day complaining on twitter about

最近總統 Trump 在推特上抱怨，

leaks inside the white house,

白宮裡有人在洩漏秘密，

because we all know Trump prefers his leaks in Russian hotel rooms.

因為我們都知道，Trump 比較喜歡在俄國飯店看別人宣洩，

You get it, Stephen?

有聽懂嗎? Stephen?

Because the president watched two Russian prostitutes urinate

因為 Trump 曾在俄國飯店看兩位娼妓

on a hotel mattress.

在飯店的床墊上小便。

Allegedly.

據說。

Right, right, allegedly.

對，對，「據說」。

Could've been three prostitutes.

有可能是三位娼妓。

We-- we get the idea.

我們了解你想表達的是什麼了。

We've got a great one for you tonight!

今晚的節目會很精彩！

When I come back, more monologue.

廣告回來，會有更多獨白。

Oh, how tantalizingly vague.

哇，好吸引人。

And "Back to the Future's" Jamie Foxx is here.

《回到未來》的 Jamie Foxx 也會在這裡。

Thank God, Blake Lively is not.

感謝上帝， Blake Lively 沒有來。

I don't feel well.

我不太舒服。

Oh, what the!

噢！

You don't have the budget for this, Colbert.

你節目的電影特效預算夠嗎？ Colbert ！

Deadbool, everybody.

各位觀眾，死侍，

"Deadpool 2" is in theaters this Friday.

這個星期五《死侍 2 》就會上映。