This was from my daughter, Hannah.

這是我女兒漢娜送的。

And more importantly, for all her friends on Facebook

更重要的是，對於她在Facebook上的所有朋友來說

who thought that her little rebellious post was cute,

誰覺得她的小叛逆帖很可愛。

and for all you parents out there that think your kids

和所有你的父母在那裡認為你的孩子

don't post bad things on Facebook, well, I want to read

不要在臉書上發壞事，好吧，我想看看

you one I took off my daughter's Facebook wall, that

你一個我從我女兒的臉書牆上拿下來的，那是

she thought she was being smart by blocking her parents

她自以為聰明地屏蔽了她的父母。

from being able to see it.

從能夠看到它。

Hannah, you were grounded for about three months

漢娜，你被禁足了大約三個月。

for doing something very similar to this, and I would have thought

因為做的事情與此非常相似，我認為

with a father that worked in IT for a living,

與父親在IT行業工作為生。

you'd have better sense than to do it again.

你最好不要再這麼做了。

But I just spent about six hours yesterday

但我昨天花了六個小時

fixing your computer for you, upgrading it for you,

替你修電腦，替你升級。

spent about a hundred thirty dollars on software.

在軟件上花了大約一百三十元。

And today, I run across a post on your Facebook page

今天，我在你的Facebook頁面上看到了一篇文章。

that you didn't think I'd be able to see.

你以為我看不出來嗎？

So since you want to hide it from everyone,

所以既然你想瞞著大家。

I'm going to share it with everybody.

我要和大家分享。

This is called, "To My Parents", by the way.

對了，這叫，《致我的父母》。

To my parents: I'm not your damn slave.

敬我父母我不是你該死的奴隸。

It's not my responsibility to clean up your shit.

清理你的糞便不是我的責任。

We have a cleaning lady for a reason.

我們有一個清潔女工是有原因的。

Her name is Linda, not Hannah.

她的名字是琳達，不是漢娜。

If you want coffee, get off your ass and

如果你想喝咖啡，就趕緊滾蛋吧

make it yourself.

自己做。

If you want a garden, shovel the fertilizer yourself.

如果你想要一個花園，就自己鏟肥。

Don't sit back on your ass and watch me do it.

不要坐視不理，看我動手。

If you walk in the house and get mud all over

如果你走在屋子裡，弄得滿身泥濘

the floor that I just cleaned, be my guest, but clean

我剛剛打掃過的地板，請自便，但要打掃乾淨。

it up after you're done getting shit everywhere.

在你把屎弄得到處都是後，它。

I'm tired of picking up after you.

我已經厭倦了跟在你後面撿東西。

You tell me at least once a day that I need

你每天至少告訴我一次，我需要。

to get a job.

來找工作。

I love this part.

我喜歡這部分。

You could just pay me for all the shit I do around the house.

你可以付給我所有我在家裡做的事情。

Seriously? Are you kidding me?

真的嗎？你在開玩笑嗎？

I'll get to that in a minute.

我馬上就會說到的。

Every day when I get home from school, I have to

每天放學回家後，我都要...

do dishes, clean the countertops, all the floors,

洗碗，清潔檯面，所有的地面。

make all the beds, do the laundry, and get the trash.

把所有的床鋪整理好，洗好衣服，把垃圾倒掉。

I'm not even going to mention all the work I do around your clinic.

我甚至不打算提我在你診所周圍做的所有工作。

And if I don't do all that everyday, I get grounded.

如果我每天不做這些事，我就會被禁足。

You know how hard it is to keep up with chores and schoolwork?

你知道要跟上家務和功課有多難嗎？

It's freaking crazy.

這真是太瘋狂了。

I go to bed at ten every night because

我每天晚上十點睡覺，因為

I'm too tired to stay up any longer doing anything else.

我太累了，不能再熬夜做別的事了。

I have to get up at five in the morning to get ready

我早上五點就得起床準備了

for school.

為學校。

On the weekends I have to sleep with my door locked

週末的時候，我得鎖著門睡覺。

so my little brother won't come get me up at six.

這樣我的弟弟就不會在六點來接我起床了。

That part's true.

那部分是真的。

"This is all true." That's what she's saying.

"這都是真的。"她就是這麼說的。

And I'm tired of this bullshit.

我已經厭倦了這些廢話。

Next time I have to pour a cup of coffee

下一次我得倒一杯咖啡了

I'm gonna flip shit.

我要去翻個底朝天

I have no idea how I have a life.

我不知道自己是怎麼生活的。

I'm gonna hate to see the day when you get too old

我不想看到你太老的那一天。

to wipe your ass and you call me asking for help.

擦你的屁股，你打電話給我 求助。

I won't be there.

我不會去的

Signed, your pissed kid, Hannah.

簽名，你生氣的孩子，漢娜。

I'm going to address a couple of these.

我要解決其中的幾個問題。

We have a lady that cleans the house for us

我們有一位女士，她為我們打掃房間。

as a favor to trade off some services.

作為交換一些服務的好處。

She is not, and you will never again refer to her

她不是，你也不會再提到她了

as a cleaning lady.

作為一個清潔女工。

That lady works harder in one day than you ever have

那位女士一天的工作比你更辛苦。

in your life.

在你的生活中。

Pay you? For the chores you--seriously? Pay you for chores?!

給你錢？為你做的家務活... 真的嗎？給你錢做家務？

That you're supposed to do around the house?

你應該在家裡做的事？

You come home from school, you have a list of chores

你放學回家，你有一個家務事的清單。

that are on the wall because you can't remember them

因為你不記得它們了

if you don't.

如果你不這樣做。

They are: sweep the living room and kitchen floor,

它們是：清掃客廳和廚房地面。

which total will take you about three minutes.

這總共需要你三分鐘左右。

If the countertops are dirty, wipe them down, which takes

如果檯面髒了，就把檯面擦乾淨，這就需要

about a minute.

大約一分鐘。

If the dishwasher's full, and been run, empty it, and put the dishes away.

如果洗碗機滿了，並且已經運行了，就把它清空，然後把盤子收起來。

If it's not, just be sure all the glasses and stuff are

如果不是，只要確定所有的眼鏡和東西都是。

in the dishwasher.

在洗碗機中。

If you have any laundry of your own, do it.

如果你有什麼自己的衣物，就去做吧。

And if your bed is unmade, do it.

如果你的床沒有鋪好，就去做。

You don't have to do my laundry.

你不必幫我洗衣服。

You don't have to make my bed.

你不必給我鋪床。

You don't have to make the guest bed.

你不一定要把客人的床鋪好。

You have to make your own bed.

你得自己鋪床。

Once a month or so, I guess, you probably have to make

一個月左右的時間，我想，你可能要讓

the guest bed.

客人的床。

Pay you, for chores? Are you out of your mind?

給你錢，做家務？你瘋了嗎？

You're fifteen, going on sixteen years old!

你才15歲，馬上就要16歲了！你知道嗎？

You want things for your laptop?

你想為你的筆記本買東西？

You want a new battery, you want a new cord,

你想換電池，就得換新線。

you want a new camera, you want a new phone,

你想要一個新的相機，你想要一個新的手機。

you want a new iPod, but you won't

你想要一個新的iPod，但你不會。

get off your lazy ass to get--to even look for a job!

讓你的懶惰的屁股得到 - 甚至找工作！

The only job that you've applied to is the one

你唯一應聘過的工作就是那個

I made you apply to, because I got the application for you.

我讓你去申請，因為我幫你申請到了。

[crumples paper]

[皺紙]

And you've been too lazy to even carry that back.

而你卻連這東西都懶得背。

When I was your age, I'd moved out of the house,

當我在你這個年紀的時候，我已經搬出了家。

lived on my own, went to college, while in high school,

自己住，上了大學，在高中時。

worked two jobs, was a volunteer fireman, and still

打過兩份工，當過義務消防員，現在還是

went to school.

上學了。

Your responsibilities include waking up on time

你的職責包括準時起床

and getting on the bus.

並上了公車。

That's the end of your responsibilities each day.

你每天的責任就到此為止了。

You don't have that hard of a life.

你的生活沒有那麼艱難。

But you're about to.

但你即將。

I warned you months ago about what would happen

我幾個月前就警告過你會發生什麼事

if you did something like this on Facebook again.

如果你再在Facebook上做這樣的事情。

The last time you were grounded, and quite frankly,

上一次你被禁足，而且很坦率地說。

I forget now, but it was for something fairly childish and stupid,

我現在忘了，但那是為了一些相當幼稚和愚蠢的事情。

we took away the computer, that kind of thing, no cellphone,

我們拿走了電腦，那種東西，沒有手機。

no Facebook, and I told you, if it ever happened again,

沒有Facebook，我告訴你， 如果它再次發生，

that it'd be a lot worse.

這將是一個更糟糕的。

And I was really close that day to putting a bullet

而我那天真的很接近把一粒子彈

through your laptop.

通過你的筆記本電腦。

Now, this time, I just spent all day yesterday, blew half my day,

現在，這個時候，我昨天才花了一整天的時間，吹了半天。

upgrading your laptop, putting new software on it, spent about

升級你的筆記本，裝上新的軟件，花了大約1個月的時間。

a hundred thirty bucks in software to get everything

一百三十塊錢的軟件，以獲得一切

the way that you want to have it for school.

你想要的方式有它的學校。

You don't have to worry about buying a new laptop battery,

您不必為購買新的筆記本電池而煩惱。

you don't have to worry about buying a new power cord,

您不必擔心購買新的電源線。

you don't have to worry about buying a new camera.

你不必擔心購買新相機。

Because you won't be using any of them, until probably college.

因為你在可能上大學之前，都不會用到它們。

I don't know how to say how disappointed I am in you,

我不知道該怎麼說我對你有多失望。

and how disrespectful you were to every single adult

你對每一個成年人都是多麼的不尊重。

in your life, but kid, you got it easy.

在你的生活中，但孩子，你得到了它容易。

Way easy. It's about to get harder.

很容易。這是要變得更難。

It's about to get a whole lot harder.

這將會變得更加困難。

Today.

今天的。

Because you're not going to see this, and for all I know,

因為你不會看到這個，而且據我所知。

you might not ever see it. But as soon as I'm done,

你可能永遠不會看到它。但一旦我完成了，

I'm going to post this on your Facebook wall, so all those kids

我要把這個貼在你的臉書上，讓所有的孩子都知道

that thought it was cool for how rebellious you were,

認為這是很酷的，因為你是多麼的叛逆。

can see what happens.

可以看到會發生什麼。

And all the parents may get an idea to put a bullet up

所有的父母可能會有一個想法，把子彈打上去。

their own kid's ass.

他們自己孩子的屁股。

Because all this--I mean, there was more curse words

因為這些... 我的意思是，有更多的咒語。

in that one post--just ridiculous!

在那一個帖子 - 只是荒謬的！

Not happening. Disrespectful to me, your mother,

不可能不尊重我，你的母親。

your stepmother, your family, your friends, and yourself.

你的繼母、你的家人、你的朋友和你自己。

So, I'm going to put a stop to it.

所以，我要制止它。

And I'm going to put a stop to it right now.

我現在就去制止它。

That right there is your laptop.

那就是你的筆記本電腦。

You see it's out here on the ground.

你看這是在外面的地面上。

This right here is my .45.

這是我的點45

[gunshot]

[槍聲]

That was the first round.

那是第一輪。

[gunshot]

[槍聲]

These are exploding hollow-point rounds from--

這些是爆炸的空心彈，從... ...

and you have to pay me back for these, too, because

你也要把這些錢還給我，因為。

these about a dollar apiece.

這些大約一美元一個。

[four gunshots]

[四聲槍響]

One two three four five six. Oh yeah, and after

一二三四五六哦，對了，之後

that comment you made about your mom, your mom

你對你媽媽的評論，你的媽媽。

told me to be sure I put one in there for her, so...

叫我一定要放一個給她，所以... ...

[gunshot] That one's for her.

[槍聲]這一個是為她。

And if I got one left [gunshot], I got two left! [gunshot]

如果我得到了一個左[槍擊]， 我得到了兩個左！[槍聲]

Now I'm out.

現在我出來了。

So, just for the record, whenever you're not grounded,

所以，聲明一下，只要你不接地氣。

whatever year that happens to be, you can a have a new

不管是哪一年，你都可以有一個新的。

laptop when you buy a new laptop.

筆記本電腦，當你購買一臺新的筆記本電腦。

And when you pay me back for the hundred thirty dollars

等你把那一百三十塊錢還給我的時候

I spent on yours yesterday.

我昨天花在你的身上了。

Hope you've enjoyed your little fiasco on Facebook.

希望你喜歡你在Facebook上的小慘劇。

Hope it was worth all this.

希望這一切是值得的。

Have a good day, y'all.

祝你們今天過得愉快