over a home-cooked meal big enough for 30...

桌上擺滿了夠三十人吃的豐盛家常料理，

when you need to bake a kiester casserole.

就在這時，你突然感到一股要烤巧克力蛋糕的衝動

*stomach grumbles*

*腸胃蠕動*

*silverware falling*

*餐具掉落*

Hi, uh. Where is the restroom?

呃不好意思，洗手間在哪裡？

Uh, it's right behind you.

就在你的正後方

Right behind me? Oh...

正後方？噢...

That is convenient.

真方便啊

Now, what do you do?

現在，你該怎麼做？

He's really hot.

他真的很性感

Most of the time I get real big troll.

不像之前大多時候我都遇到怪胎

I need you, help me out.

我需要你幫幫我！

*aerosol spaying*

*噴清新芳香劑*

*stomach growling and toots*

*腸胃咆哮，屁股吹奏喇叭*

Oh my gosh.

我的天啊

What did I do?

我做了什麼？

What did I eat?

我都吃了些啥？

*toot*

*放屁聲*

Oh no!

糟了！

After you answer Mother Nature's booty call, you fill the air with synthetic citrus,

就在你解決完生理需求後，

hoping the scent of last night's burrito

你在空氣中噴滿合成柑橘氣味，

won't follow you back to the table.

心裡暗自希望昨晚吃的捲餅氣味

Ooouugh, that was a bad choice.

不會跟著你回餐桌

*coughing*

噁！真是大錯特錯

They're going to know my secrets.

*咳嗽*

And they're gonna hate me. And I'm never gonna find love.

他們就要知道我的秘密了

Maybe more, maybe more, oh maybe more.

他們一定會恨我，我就再也沒人愛了

Oh come on. Come on.

再來，再來一些，不夠不夠

And everyone's going to be married with kids

加油啊！

And I'm going to be a lone lady with cats.

大家都會結婚生小孩，

*toilet flushing, coughing*

就我一個人會成為養貓的獨居老太太

*commotion*

*沖馬桶聲，咳嗽*

Smells like, diaper gravy!—Smells like uh,

*群起騷動*

It's got some fruit notes. Is, is it shitrus?

聞起來好像...尿布汁！-- 聞起來像...

I can taste it!

有一些水果氣味。是屎混水果的氣味嗎？

It's atomic!

我嘗得出味道！

It's, it's stinging—We need to go!—It's stinging. I can, I can...

簡直像原子彈轟炸！

It's burning.—I can see it!

好刺鼻！ --我們該走了！-- 太刺鼻了。我似乎可以...

My eyes. It's in my eyes.

鼻子在燒。 -- 看得出來！

She ruined my dinner!

我的眼睛。我眼裡都是！

*sobbing*

她毀了我的晚餐！

*crickets chirping*

*啜泣*

*girl makes ring noises*

*蟋蟀叫*

Oh, this is really important. I better take this.

*女生裝電話鈴聲*

You tuck turtle head back in its shell

這通電話非常重要，我必須接

and toot, scoot and boogie to the backyard.

你像縮頭烏龜一樣，

You pop a squat and push it. P-p-push it real good.

然後趕緊開溜到後院

And just when you think

你立刻蹲下來，使勁推。ㄊㄨㄟ，推！使勁推！

you've gotten away with your rectal ruse...

就在你以為

*sigh*

你的腸胃危機已經過去了的時候...

Please… please.

*歎氣*

I, I won't tell if you don't tell.

拜託... 我求你

*laughs*

你我都別說溜嘴

No deal!

*大笑*

Why?

想得美！

Why can't you be a nice grandma

為什麼？

that bakes pies and knits sweaters.

為什麼你就不是那種好阿嬤，

*spritz, spritz, spritz*

會烤派、織毛衣的那種

Please, excuse me.

*噴霧聲*

Before you pass the chocolate delights,

容我離開一會

you spritz the bowl with Poo~Pourri.

就在你解放自己的巧克力蛋糕前，

*toot, sigh*

你在馬桶裡噴一些 Poo~Pourri

Nice.

*放屁聲，嘆氣聲*

Whew!

好耶

Mmm, yeah.

解放啦！

That was a good one,

就是這樣

but it smells good too.

這一批很好哦，

You did so good.

聞起來也很好

I just pooped and it smells fabulous. Yeah!

你做得好極了

Bring it down. Bring it down. Down town. I did, right?!

我剛剛大便完，聞起來棒極了。耶！

Yeah. Yeah!

放馬過來，盡情放馬過來。來啊來啊。看我的！

*toilet flushing*

耶！啵棒！

All they'll be able to smell is an

*沖馬桶聲*

appetizing blend of natural essential oils.

他們會聞到的

Oh, that's heavenly.

是一股自然精油的美妙氣味

I don't remember putting a

宛如置身天堂

lemon meringue pie in the oven.

我不記得我有在烤箱裡

Whatever that smell is I want to eat it,

放檸檬酥皮派啊

right now, with my mouth.

不論那氣味是什麼，我都想吃，

It smells like sunshine!

現在吃，直接放進嘴裡

And fruit loops!

聞起來像陽光！

Very nice blend.—Marry this one man.

還有水果圈麥片！

I mean, she poops pies.

美妙至極。 -- 跟這位結婚吧，老兄

Am i right? —Just like me.—Just like you!

她的大便可是聞起來像派

Winner winner, burrito dinner.

我說的對吧？ --就像我一樣。-- 沒錯，和你一樣！

Control the shituation with Poo~Pourri...

掌控全場的大贏家，什麼捲餅也不怕

the Before-You-Go Toilet Spray that creates a

用 Poo~Pourri 解決大便尷尬問題

film on the water's surface that actually traps odor

使用前噴灑，

before it begins.

在水面形成薄膜，在開始散發臭味前

If your poo stinks,

就先把它鎖住

Click here to get your Poo~Pourri today at PooPourri.com

如果你的便便會臭，

Poo~Pourri.

現在就點擊這裡，前往 PooPourri.com 購買你的 Poo~Pourri

When the glasses clink, don't ruin the party with a stink.

Poo~Pourri