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  • One of the great problems of human beings is that we're far too good at keeping going.

    人類最大的問題之一是:我們太擅長努力不懈了。

  • We're experts at surrendering to the demands of the external world,

    我們致力回應外在世界的需求,

  • living up to what is expected of us and getting on with the priorities as others around us define them.

    努力實現達他人對我們的期待,並完成由他人定義的優先事項。

  • We keep showing up and being an excellent boy or girl, and we can pull this magical feat off for up to decades at a time,

    我們努力成為好男孩、好女孩,十年如一日地致力於偉大的目標,

  • without so much as an outward twitch or crack.

    不容許一絲懈怠。

  • Until, suddenly, one day, much to everyone's surprise, including our own, we break.

    直到某一天,我們突然出乎眾人意料地崩潰了。

  • The rupture can take many forms. We can no longer get out of bed. We fall into a catatonic depression.

    崩潰有很多表現方式:我們下不了床、罹患思覺失調症。

  • We develop all-consuming social anxiety. We refuse to eat. We babble incoherently. We lose command over part of our body.

    我們對社交活動充滿焦慮、拒絕進食、胡言亂語。我們失去對部分身體部位的控制能力。

  • We're compelled to do something extremely scandalous and entirely contrary to our normal selves.

    我們迫使自己做出許多脫序和反常的事情。

  • We become wholly paranoid in a given area.

    我們在特定的情況下會妄想症。

  • We refuse to play by the usual rules in our relationship, we have an affair, ramp up the fighting

    我們打破感情的常規,開始偷吃、擴大衝突

  • or otherwise poke a very large stick into the wheels of day-to-day life.

    或者硬生生地讓日常生活停擺。

  • Breakdowns are hugely inconvenient for everyone, and so, unsurprisingly, there is an immediate rush to medicalize the problem

    「崩潰」會對每個人造成不便,因此,大家自然急於用醫學手段解決問題

  • an attempt to excise it from the scene, so that business as usual can restart.

    將其排除於生活之外,以恢復以往的作息。

  • But this is to misunderstand what's going on when we break down.

    不過這是對「崩潰」的本質有所誤解。

  • A breakdown is not merely a random piece of madness or malfunction,

    其實崩潰並不是突然發瘋或是腦袋故障,

  • it's a very real, or be it very inarticulate, bid for health.

    而是非常實際且隱晦的「自我療癒方法」。

  • It is an attempt by one part of our minds to force the other into a process of growth,

    這是大腦某一部分迫使另一部份進入自我成長

  • self-understanding and self-development, which it has hitherto refused to undertake.

    自我理解與自我修復的過程,而我們迄今為止都拒絕接受。

  • If we can put it paradoxically, it's an attempt to jumpstart a process of getting well, properly well,

    一個自相矛盾的說法是,這是啟動徹底康復機制的過程,

  • through a stage of falling very ill.

    但得生一場大病。

  • The danger, therefore, if we merely medicalize a breakdown and attempt to shift it away at once,

    因此,危險的地方是,若只用醫學手段立刻解決「崩潰」的狀況,

  • is that we're going to miss the lesson embedded within our sickness. A breakdown isn't just a pain, though it is that too of course.

    我們將無法學習到疾病帶來的教訓。崩潰是一種疾病,但它引發問題不只是苦痛。

  • It's an extraordinary opportunity to learn.

    這是難得的「學習」機會。

  • The reason we break down is that we have not, over many years, flexed very much.

    我們崩潰的真正原因是:有太多年沒有讓自己好好放鬆了。

  • There were things we needed to hear inside our minds that we deftly put to one side.

    我們需要去傾聽內心的聲音,那些我們過去習慣性忽略的聲音。

  • There were messages we needed to heed, bits of emotional learning and communicating we didn't do, and now, after being patient for so long, far too long,

    我們需傾聽內在的聲音,而過去忽略的情緒學習和溝通,在壓抑這麼久之後,

  • the emotional self is attempting to make itself heard in the only way it now knows how.

    感性的自我只好用最熟悉的方式讓聲音被聽見。

  • It has become entirely desperate, and we should understand

    這是非常絕望的狀態,而我們應該充分理解

  • and even sympathize with its mute rage. What the breakdown is telling us above anything else is that

    甚至理解這種沉默的嘶吼。精神崩潰是在告訴我們

  • it must no longer be business as usual, that things have to change or (and this can be properly frightening to witness)

    不然繼續維持現狀,必須有所改變或 (最不樂見的情況),

  • that death might be preferable.

    認定「死亡」才能帶來解脫。

  • Why can't we simply listen to the emotional need calmly and in good time, and avoid the melodrama of a breakdown?

    為什麼我們不能令靜地聆聽自己的情緒,避免這種崩潰情節上演呢?

  • Because the conscious mind is inherently lazy and squeamish

    因為大腦意識的本質懶惰且神經質,

  • and so reluctant to engage with what the breakdown eventually has to tell us with brutality.

    不願意去處理那些受壓抑的情緒,以至於須採用如此極端的作法。

  • For years, it refuses to listen to a particular sadness, or there is a dysfunction in a relationship we're in flight from,

    多年來,它拒處理悲傷的情緒、逃避情感問題

  • or there are desires it sweeps very far under the proverbial carpet.

    或繼續壓抑某些慾望。

  • We can compare the process to a revolution. For years, the people press the government to listen to their demands and adjust.

    我們可以將崩潰比喻為一場「革命」。多年以來,人們呼籲政府傾聽他們的要求並做出調整。

  • For years, the government makes token gestures but shuts its ears,

    但多年以來,政府只是裝模作樣、裝聾作啞,

  • until one day, it is simply too much for the people,

    直到某一天,人們受夠了,

  • who storm the palace gates, destroy the fine furnishings and shoot randomly at the innocent and the guilty.

    群眾衝破皇宮大門,破壞華麗的裝潢,隨意射殺無辜和有罪的人。

  • Mostly, in revolutions, there is no good outcome. The legitimate grievances and needs of the people are not addressed or even discovered.

    革命通常不會有好結果。人民正當的不滿和訴求未被解決,甚至沒有被發現。

  • There is an ugly civil war, sometimes, literally, suicide. The same is true of breakdowns.

    內戰是十分醜陋的,自殺成為壓迫下唯一的出口,與崩潰的道理相同。

  • Yet, a good mental physician tries hard to listen to rather than censor the illness.

    然而,一個好的心理醫生會努力嘗試「聆聽」而非「診斷」疾病。

  • They detect within its oddities a plea for more time for ourselves,

    他們會發現反常行為反映了想爭取更多時間,

  • for a closer relationship, for a more honest, fulfilled way of being, for acceptance of who we really are sexually.

    渴望更親密的關係,追求更真誠、充實的生活方式,以及對自我性別的認同。

  • That's why we started to drink or to become reclusive,

    於是我們開始酗酒、封閉自我、

  • or to grow entirely paranoid or manically seductive.

    或變得多疑、情慾躁動。

  • A crisis represents an appetite for growth that hasn't found another way of expressing itself.

    這個危機代表了渴望自我成長卻不知如何著手。

  • Many people, after a horrific few months or years of breakdown, will say:

    許多人在崩潰了數月或數年之後會說:

  • "You know, I don't know how I'd ever have gotten well, if I hadn't fallen ill."

    「你知道嗎,如果我沒有病得那麼重,就不會康復得那麼好。」

  • In the midst of a breakdown, we often wonder whether we have gone mad. We have not. We're behaving oddly no doubt,

    在崩潰期間,我們時常在想自己是不是瘋了。其實沒有,雖然我們行為失常,

  • but beneath the surface agitation, we are on a hidden yet logical search for health.

    但其實躁動不安的背後是對健康的追求。

  • We haven't become ill, we were ill already. Our crisis, if we can get through it, is an attempt to dislodge us from a toxic status quo

    我們不是現在突然發病,而是已經生病很久了。如果我們能夠度過這個危機,就能脫離毒害心靈的現狀,

  • and it represents an insistent call to rebuild our lives on a more authentic and sincere basis.

    它呼籲我們在更真實、更真誠的基礎上,重建生活方式。

One of the great problems of human beings is that we're far too good at keeping going.

人類最大的問題之一是:我們太擅長努力不懈了。

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