I'm the Pastry Director for Craveable Hospitality Group.

我是 Craveable 好客團體的糕點執行長。

I've been a pastry chef for 12 years.

我任職糕點主廚有 12 年了。

Today, I am eating cake out of a box.

今天要來試試市面上的速成蛋糕。

It looks pretty good.

看起來不錯。

Solid cake.

實心的。

Spongy.

海綿蛋糕。

I feel like everyone had this for their birthday growing up,

我相信這個共度大家的生日，

except for me.

除了我以外。

Thanks, mom.

謝謝媽咪 !

It has a little bit of artificial vanilla flavor,

裡面摻了人工的香草口味，

but I think that's what cake mix is about.

但我知道這是無法避免的。

The texture's great.

口感不錯。

It's moist,

帶點水分，

almost like impossibly moist.

不可思議的水感。

You could put a dish sponge,

你可以放一塊菜瓜布，

and layer it with chocolate frosting,

外面裹一層巧克力，

and give it to me and it would look the same.

就像我眼前的這塊。

This is your base model box of cake.

這會是速成蛋糕的基本款。

Two and a half.

2.5 顆星

It's basic and everyone can have it.

很大眾，大家可以接受的。

I'm guessing this is going to be spice cake.

我猜這是香料蛋糕。

It looks good.

感起來不賴。

It's springy.

清爽的感覺。

It smells spicy.

聞起來有香料的味道。

Flavor is really good.

聞起來不錯。

It's not too strong, you get a nice hint of nutmeg,

不會很重，有肉豆蔻的香味。

but the cake itself is almost unnervingly damp.

但是蛋糕體本身出乎意料地濕潤。

Marshy.

沼澤地般的蛋糕體。

The spice flavor's good though

雖然香料味道很好

and the texture, it's oddly crumbly.

但是口感異常地不扎實

It's warm, it reminds me of fall, two stars.

讓我想到秋老虎的溫熱，我給 2 顆星。

It looks good, it looks red.

看起來很棒，該紅的地方很紅。

That's red velvet.

是紅天鵝絨。

It feels nice.

感覺不賴。

Kinda feels like a loofah.

像是絲瓜的內裡。

It's like a little dry.

有點乾。

There should be a little hint of cocoa in there.

應該要放點可可粉的。

The cake isn't overly sweet, it doesn't taste fake,

嘗起來不甜，也不像「假的」蛋糕，

it just doesn't really taste like anything.

甚麼都不像。

I mean, this is a pretty classic red velvet cake.

就是一個紅天鵝絨蛋糕。

It's just a vehicle to get cream cheese frosting

好比一台車外層裹了起士醬

into my mouth.

再送進我嘴巴。

I'm gonna give it two and a half.

我給 2 顆星。

This cake was trying really hard,

這塊蛋糕很用心，

but it just didn't live up to its potentials.

只是潛力沒有被激發出來。

Chocolate.

巧克力。

This looks great.

看起來很棒。

It looks chocolatey.

很巧克力，

It smells really nostalgic,

聞起來令人懷念。

like the inside of the bag of Tootsie Rolls,

有 Tootsie Rolls 內層的味道，

which I think is a good thing.

我覺得是好事。

She's a sturdy cake.

是塊扎實的蛋糕。

She's a thick cake.

是塊厚實的蛋糕。

It tastes like cheap Halloween candy,

嘗起來像廉價的萬聖節糖果。

but honestly, I kind of like that.

說實在的，我反而有點喜歡。

I pretend to be sophisticated, but um,

我假裝難搞，其實

I'm really garbage.

我很廢。

I just wish the cake were a little bit more rich.

我只希望這塊蛋糕可以再濃郁一點。

Three stars.

3 顆星。

It's a chocolate cake, guys.

各位，只是巧克力蛋糕。

How can it be bad?

能多糟呢 ?

She's dense.

很厚重

It didn't really rise.

不 Q 彈

There's no webbing.

沒有紋理

It doesn't look spongy.

不像海綿蛋糕

If you can mess up making a boxed cake mix,

烤蛋糕你可以烤得一蹋糊塗，

it's not you, it's the cake mix.

不是你的問題，是用料本身。

It's chewy, like nougat.

像牛軋糖般的嚼勁。

Gummy has no place in a cake.

黏牙絕不能發生在蛋糕上。

The flavor is really good.

但味道是好的。

It tastes like real vanilla, real butter.

像真的用香草與奶油做的。

If this had been light and airy,

如果嚐起來清爽些，

this would've been phenomenal.

會是另人齒頰留香的蛋糕。

I'm gonna have to give this cake half a star.

我給 1.5 顆星。

Flavor's great, the texture needs some help.

味覺大勝口感。

There is no shame in the box.

不要感到「拍謝」。

It's quick and easy and the results are delicious,

快速、簡單又好吃。

but honestly, it takes just about the same amount of time

但老實說，從第一步驟到最後

to make a cake from scratch.

花的時間都一樣。

If you have the right recipe,

如果有本對的食譜在手上，

the results are way more delicious.

結果會更好。

I encourage you step outside of the box,

說到蛋糕，

especially when it comes to cake.

我會建議你放棄速成蛋糕。

Or, of course, you can support your local pastry chefs

對了，請多多支持地方的糕點師傅

and go buy some of their cakes.

用消費支持他們。

Shameless plug.

我是「葉佩雯」。