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  • (electronic beeping)

    (電子嗶嗶聲)

  • (melodic music)

    (旋律優美的音樂)

  • (birds chirping)

    (鳥鳴啁啾)

  • (yawning)

    (哈欠聲)

  • (bird chirping)

    (鳥鳴啁啾)

  • - Oh, birds.

    - 噢,小鳥

  • At sunset, I wandered through the village

    ♫ 黃昏時分,我在村子裡漫步

  • Glowing in the twilight and so quiet

    ♫ 村子在黎明微光下十分安靜

  • Well it's quiet 'cause most people

    ♫ 之所以安靜是因為很多人

  • Died of a plague

    ♫ 死於瘟疫

  • Caused by jealous witches

    ♫ 這都是嫉妒女巫所造成的

  • ♫ I wandered through the village and I think

    ♫ 我漫步過村子,然後我想起

  • That my life is missing something dear

    ♫ 我的生活少了點美好

  • As I stop to rest

    ♫ 當我停下來休息

  • And cough up blood I wonder

    ♫ 然後咳出血時,我在想

  • (coughs)

    (咳嗽)

  • When will I find my prince

    ♫ 我何時會遇到我的王子

  • (sighs)

    (嘆氣)

  • ♫ I wandered through the village and I noticed

    ♫ 我漫步過村子,然後我注意到

  • That everyone but me has found a love

    ♫ 除了我,每個人都已尋得愛情

  • There goes the blacksmith with his daughter wife

    ♫ 這是鐵匠和他的女兒妻子

  • ♫ 10 years old and pregnant with her brother's son

    ♫ 她十歲大,懷了她兄弟的兒子

  • (man laughing)

    (男人大笑)

  • ♫ I wandered through the village sighing deeply

    ♫ 我漫步過村子,深深嘆口氣

  • Seeking guidance from the statue in the square

    ♫ 試圖從廣場的雕像尋求指引

  • It's a statue of Christ

    ♫ 那是基督的雕像

  • Adorned with thief hands

    ♫ 身上掛滿了小偷的手

  • Oh when will I find my prince

    ♫ 噢,我何時會找到我的王子

  • Oh look, everyone.

    大家看呀

  • It's my friends from the forest, the Jews.

    是我來自森林裡的猶太朋友們

  • Hello, Jews.

    你們好,猶太人

  • You know, I never did ask you.

    仔細想想我從來沒問過你們

  • Why do you live in the forest?

    為什麼你們住在森林裡?

  • (high-pitched chattering)

    (高音嘈雜聲)

  • Oh I see, to hide from people trying to kill you.

    噢我知道了,是為了躲避想要殺死你們的人

  • Well that's very resourceful my picky little friends.

    這真是一個非常聰明的策略啊,我挑剔的小小朋友們

  • Tell me, have you ever had a dream

    告訴我,你們曾經有過

  • that you thought wouldn't come true?

    覺得不會成真的夢嗎?

  • (high-pitched chattering)

    (高音嘈雜聲)

  • Oh I see.

    我懂了

  • You dream is that they won't want to kill you.

    你們的夢就是不會有人想殺死你們

  • Well that's definitely a dream that won't come true.

    嗯那的確是癡心妄想

  • Oh well goodbye, goodbye.

    好吧,掰掰啦

  • Jews.

    猶太人

  • (dramatic music)

    (戲劇性音樂)

  • Oh if I found my prince

    ♫ 但願我能找到我的王子

  • We'd have a wedding elegant and rare

    ♫ 我們會有一場絕無僅有的優雅婚禮

  • We'd dine on kidney cream and horse vagina

    ♫ 還會一起吃腎泥和馬陰道

  • Drink champagne and torture a bear

    ♫ 喝著香檳,虐待一隻熊

  • Oh if I found my prince

    ♫ 如果我找到了我的王子

  • The castle would be filled with love and laughter

    ♫ 城堡裡就會充滿愛和笑聲

  • And he'd fill me with his seed

    ♫ 而且他還會硬上我

  • Forcibly and rough

    ♫ 強硬又粗暴

  • ♫ I'd give birth to a son

    ♫ 我會生下一名兒子

  • And then die right after

    ♫ 生完馬上翹辮子

  • ♫ I wandered through the village seeking answers

    ♫ 我漫步過村子,試圖尋找解答

  • But love hasn't given me a glimpse

    ♫ 但是愛情尚未臨及我

  • It isn't in this shop or in this cart of baby corpses

    ♫ 愛情不在這間店,也不在這滿車的嬰兒屍體

  • Oh when will I find my prince

    ♫ 我何時會找到我的王子

  • When, Hand Jesus?

    耶穌手,什麼時候呢?

  • Oh when will I find my prince

    ♫ 我何時會找到我的王子

  • (metallic chiming)

    (金屬閃爍聲)

  • Oh it's my prince.

    看啊,是我的王子!

  • - Hello.

    - 你好

  • (girl coughs)

    (女生咳嗽)

  • - Oh (beep).

    - 噢該死 (消音)

  • (melodic music)

    (旋律優美的音樂)

  • (guitar riff)

    (吉他即興重複段)

  • - Hey there, thank you for supporting Cracked.

    - 你們好,謝謝你對 Cracked 的支持

  • If you'd like to subscribe, you can do that at any time.

    如果你願意訂閱,隨時歡迎

  • I know that you're a big fan of Soren-erotica

    我知道你們很喜歡 Soren 黃色笑話

  • which I've done before and unfortunately I'm out,

    我之前參與過,不幸地我現在退出了

  • but I thought maybe I could just come up

    但我想在忙碌之餘

  • with some on the fly.

    我或許能夠想出一些

  • Parker took off his pants

    Parker 脫了他的褲子

  • and the girl that was with him was like,

    和他一塊的女孩看到就說

  • yeah, that's a dick,

    「是誒,是老二。」

  • and he was like, I know.

    他就說,「對啊我知道。」

  • And then they were gonna have sex

    然後他們要做愛

  • and he was like, but I'm also, I'm a horse,

    但他說,「不過我也是一匹馬。」

  • no he's not a horse.

    不對,他不是馬

  • That's bad.

    那太糟了

  • He's a, he's a human.

    他是個人類

  • He's, but he's like a human that can like

    他是人類,不過是那種擁有

  • he has like wolf-like powers,

    狼一般能力的人

  • like the kid from Abandon, Abducted.

    就像是《劫持》裡面那個小孩

(electronic beeping)

(電子嗶嗶聲)

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