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There is a lot of dating advice out there that doesn't make sense to me.
Always make sure you're the one to text him less.
So if he sends you two texts you send him one.
And if he sends you one text you send him one word answers.
If he's getting distant then you just tell him that he's being clingy and that you need space.
You just always have to reverse psychology them.
Here's a series of books of canned responses for every possible scenario
organized alphabetically by topic of discussion.
Thank you.. Yeah
I will... um.. get right on that
There's articles and books and movies and blogs and videos
All based purely on the concept that there is a right way to date someone.
That there is a correct combination of texts and words and behaviours
that will make somebody fall in love with you without you losing your power.
I think this is bullshit
And I mean don't get me wrong . I'll admit when I was fifteen I would read Cosmopolitan
and Seventeen magazine and follow their advice to a "T"
He's gonna call me now. He's gonna call me now. He's gonna call me now.
Now. Now. He's gonna call me now. He's... *gasps*
*phone ringing*
Hey Michael! I'm so sorry. I was just in the shower... All naked and stuff
What's up chicken butt?
But I realized that all of this advice is based on the flawed premise that
love is a game and people are prizes to be won.
And when I would follow these rules and inevitably get to know a person better
And become emotionally invested in them.
I would realize way too late. Wait! We're not actually compatible.
Yeah so I just like walked out.
Wait... You just left without paying?
Look if they're not going to give me the bill on time then I'm just gonna go.
Bye! *chuckles*
I remember when I was in like my late teens early twenties
I had like this really long conversation with my grandma where I was just like confused and angry
about love and marriage and dating and I just felt like there were so many rules you had to follow
And I had so much anxiety about doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing.
And she was like "Anna Kay. The only dating advice you will ever need is to just be yourself."
Because that way if someone falls in love with you, they're falling in love with you
And not this idea that you've presented.
It's a lot of work to maintain an idea over a long period of time.
It's quite easy to keep being yourself.
And her advice, though very simple, and straightforward and seemingly obvious really stuck with me.
As like a no bullshit way to see who's weirdness vibes with your weirdness.
Because if you're the kind of person who says whatever is on their mind
No matter how inappropriate or dark
Your date's gonna either laugh and like it or they're gonna think that it's awkward and never call you again.
But either way, you didn't hold back an aspect of your personality that you otherwise
might've suppressed for some time.
I think it's much better to just be upfront with who you are and what the other person is signing up for.
And if they like it - great!
And if they don't - cool! Move on and find somebody else.
And when you finally do they'll like you for you.
Instead of this carefully curated construct that you've spent so much time building for them.
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你唯一需要的約會建議 (The only dating advice you'll ever need)

10348 分類 收藏
April Lu 發佈於 2018 年 6 月 12 日   April Lu 翻譯   Evangeline 審核

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總有很多文章、書籍或是網站「建議」你要如何去和你的另一半相處,但其實每個人都是不一樣的,每對情侶都有自己的相處模式,只要兩個人開心就好,並不需要去迎合所謂的建議或是類型。

1clingy 0:16
clingy 原本是指「貼身的;緊身的;緊貼的」,後來延伸出「依賴性強的;黏人的」的意思。
My mom said that I was a clingy child.
我媽說我以前是個黏人的小孩。


*同場加映:
男人注意!避免交往這 10 種類型的女生!(10 Girls Guys Should AVOID!)


2get somebody wrong 0:50
get somebody wrong 有「誤會或誤解某人」的意思,多在口語上使用。
Please don't get me wrong — I'm not trying to tell you what to do.
請不要誤會我,我不是在告訴你應該怎麼做。


*同場加映:
網路對大腦的影響 (What the Internet is Doing to Our Brains [Epipheo.TV])


3stick with 2:25
影片中的 stuck 為 stick 的過去式,stick 有「黏住;釘住」的意思,stick with 則有「緊跟;堅持;無法擺脫」的意思。
After hearing his proposal, we decided to stick with our plan.
聽完他的提案之後,我們決定堅持我們原先的計畫。


*同場加映:
BBC - 我與我的自閉症 (My Autism and Me)


4vibe 2:29
vibe 指的是「氣氛;氛圍;情境」,通常當名詞來使用,to have good/bad vibe 及代表「感覺好/感覺不妙」。
This bar gave me a nostalgic vibe.
這間酒吧有種復古的感覺。


*同場加映:
什麼是品牌社群:以星巴克為例 (Brand Community: Starbucks)


5upfront 2:49
upfront 為形容詞,意思是「直率的;坦白的;預付的」,to be upfront about something 指的是「在某事上很直率」,而 upfront payment/cash 為「預付款/現金」。
She's been upfront about why she wants to move.
她很坦率地說出為什麼要搬走。


*同場加映:
好人難道注定要成為魯蛇?!(第二集) (Just Another Nice Guy - Part 2)


不管和誰在一起,重要的就是做自己,才能好自在!

文/ Hsiang Lan Lee

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