- Okay, I'll call you later, baby boo.

好，寶貝，我再打給你喔

- [Man] Okay, love you.

(男人) 好，愛你喔

- No, I love you, pumpkin pie.

不，我才愛你呢，小甜心

- [Man] Hang up, love you.

(男人) 掛囉，愛你

- No, you hang up, angel face.

不要，你先掛，小天使

- [Man] No, you hang up, sugar lumps.

(男人) 不，你先掛，甜心

- Fine, bye, handsome.

好，掰，帥哥

- Baby boo? you're so lame.

寶貝？你好無趣喔

- Not even, it's cute.

才不會，很可愛

- Okay, I wouldn't be caught dead,

好喔，我死都不會這樣叫

oh hi handsome boy, my sugar plum baby waby fluffy wuffy.

噢，嗨帥哥！我的甜心毛毛寶貝

(kisses)

親吻

(upbeat music)

音樂

Okay, there you go, pose with the pizza.

好，你去跟披薩拍照

Come on, pose with the pizza,

快，跟披薩拍照

(camera clicks) but look this way.

(照相聲) 看這裡

Okay, stay, no, no, stay, okay, come here.

好，停，不、不，停！好，過來這裡

Pose with the pizza,

跟披薩拍照

one more, okay, come on.

再一張，好，過來

Stay, pose for mommy, okay?

停，幫媽咪擺個姿勢好嗎？

Okay, sit still.

好，坐好

(upbeat music)

音樂

Okay, one more.

好，再一張

- Yeah, my son was up all night with the flu.

對，我兒子得了流感整個晚上都沒睡

- Aw, yeah no, I totally relate, my son was sick too.

噢，對，我非常了解，我兒子也生病了

- Oh, how old is your baby boy?

噢，你兒子幾歲了？

- One, I mean, 15 in dog years.

一歲，我的意思是，狗一年算 15 歲

Okay listen, from now on it's my way or the highway.

好，聽著，從現在開始就是我說了算

If you don't like it, there's the door.

如果你不喜歡，門就在那裡

Okay, no more fun and games.

好，不要再跟我嘻嘻哈哈

What a handsome boy, who's a good boy?

怎麼這麼可愛，是哪個好孩子啊？

You're a good boy.

真是個乖小孩

And I don't want to have this conversation again.

我不想要再有這個對話了

Don't make me repeat myself.

不要讓我重複

Who wants their belly rubbed, you want your belly rubbed?

誰想要揉揉肚子啊，你想要嗎

In fact, you know what, you, you're fired.

其實，你們知道嗎，你們被開除了

Yes they are, yes they are fired, aren't they?

對，他們都是，他們都被開除了，是不是？

This is not a laughing matter.

這不是開玩笑的

I'm in charge, I'm the boss, I'm strict,

我是主管，我就是老大，絕不心軟

and I will kill you, okay, any questions?

然後我會把你們弄死，好嗎？有問題嗎？

- Am I still fired?

我們被開除了嗎？

I said I'm sorry a million times,

我已經說了一千次對不起了，

and I wrote you a song,

我還寫了一首歌給你

and I cooked you dinner.

還幫你煮晚餐

- Okay, well I'm sorry for not being impressed

好，我很抱歉沒有對你的基本招數

by your basicness. (gasps)

留下任何印象

What a big yawn.

這麼大一個哈欠

Wow, what a smart boy.

天阿，好聰明

So impressed with you, baby.

我超愛你的，寶貝

You're a moron.

你就是低能

This is him sleeping, aww, right?

這是他在睡覺，噢，是吧？

Look at that, he's sitting

看看他，他坐著

Okay, look at that, oh my god, he's thinking,

ok，看看這個，天吶，他在思考

what am I gonna do?

天哪，我該怎麼辦？

Eating, he does that a couple times a day.

吃東西，他一天會吃好幾次

Okay, he's not doing anything here,

他沒有在幹麻

but I took a picture anyways.

但我就是拍下來了

(gasps) He's so cute, look.

(嘆) 他好可愛，你看

Little baby. (kisses)

小寶貝 (親吻)

Are you pooping?

你在便便嗎？

♪ All these people is my sons ♪

這些人都是我的兒子

- Okay, that doesn't make any sense, Nicki,

好，這根本不正常，Nicki

you can't just make people your sons,

你不能讓這些人變成你兒子

that's not how family works.

這不是一個家庭的運作模式

Hi my little baby boy, come to mama.

嗨，我的寶貝小兒子，來麻麻這邊

Are you my good little boy, yes you are, mommy loves you.

你是我的乖兒子嗎？對你是，媽咪愛你

♪ I'm gonna get some kicks for 'em ♪

我要踢踢他們

- Has a dog for three days,

照顧一隻狗三天

instantly makes video featuring said dog.

馬上讓我想要拍狗的影片

Hi baby, you're a sleepy boy today.

嗨寶貝，你今天很愛睏

This is my new puppy, Scarbro,

這是我的新狗狗， Scarbro

and if you wanna follow Scarbro on Instagram,

如果你想要追蹤 Scarbro 的 Instagram

which you 100% should because hello, look at this face,

你一定要追蹤，因為看看這張臉

@ScarbroTheDawg is where he's at

@ScarbroTheDawg 就是他的帳號

and he's such a little ladies' man, isn't he?

他真是個小紳士，是不是？

Mommy, I'm sleepy, okay, go to the end card.

媽咪，我想睡了，我們結束吧

Yo, did you like that video?

Yo 你喜歡這部影片嗎？

Make sure to give it a thumbs up,

點個讚

share it with all your fellow dog owners as well,

順便分享給你所有的狗主人

tell them to check it out.

叫他們看看

My last video right over there,

我的上一部影片在那邊

second vlog channel right over there.

第二個頻道在那邊

Make sure you subscribe because I make new videos

確認你訂閱了因為我會在

every Monday and Thursday and you already know

每個星期一跟二發新影片，而你已經知道

this guy's gonna be in them.

這個傢伙會出現在裡面