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We've all been there before.
You're in conversation.
Things are humming along nicely.
And then out of nowhere,
the awkward silence rears its head .
At that moment,
your mind goes completely blank,
you don't know what to say,
and you can sense the other person's eyes wandering
as they look for someone else to talk to.
That scenario sucks, so here are five tips
to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation again.
First, when you find yourself in that situation
where your mind has gone blank,
play Reminds Me of.
That just means that you look to the environment around you and say,
"You know, that reminds me of..."
and then fill in the blank.
It's great for opening new conversational threads,
and it can also work as a follow-up when someone finishes telling a story,
which is how many groups of friends interact all the time.
That's because people are drawn to others
who they feel are similar to themselves,
and related stories can build that bridge.
Just be sure not to repeatedly make your story superior to theirs,
or else you can feel like one-upping.
Second, when you ask questions,
keep them open-ended as often as possible.
So rather than saying,
"Oh, you're from Toronto. Do you like it there?"
you might say, "How do you like Toronto?"
"I'm curious to hear more about it."
The former question invites a one-word response and then awkward silence.
The latter gets the other person talking about
the things that they like,
which is going to open up more conversational threads.
Also, just remember the rule that
every three-year-old knows about conversation,
which is that simply asking why
is a great way to get people to open up more.
So when someone mentions that they are consultant for instance, you might ask,
"Why did you decide to get into consulting?"
To be clear, unlike three-year-olds,
you don't have to say the word 'why' over and over and over.
But drilling down into their motivations
will often get you a deeper connection in conversation.
Third, for the worst case scenario,
when conversation just flat-out stalls,
use revival questions.
These are non sequiturs that bring conversation back from the dead.
Here's three of my favorites.
If you're in a new group and conversation dies,
after initial pleasantries,
a great revival question is,
"How do you guys all know one another?"
There's almost always some kind of story that conversation can build from.
If you're only speaking to one person,
you can say instead, "So what's your story?"
The great thing about this question is that
it is so open-ended that
the other person will probably guide you towards the topics
that they want to talk about.
Usually responding with something like,
"You mean what do I do for work or what do I like to do for fun?"
Their tone of voice and enthusiasm will usually
tell you the best angle of conversation to continue with.
Lastly, for people you already know well,
ask them about their exciting plans for the future.
This one is nice because it is endlessly renewable,
which makes it great for connecting with people in the office or wherever you work.
Fourth on the list is to make a complimentary cold read.
So if someone is particularly smiley,
you might say, "You look like the type who would be great with kids."
Or if they're super strong, you might say,
"You look like you're pretty into fitness."
If you get it right, they're probably going to
open up and tell you more about it.
But even if you're wrong, you can talk about
what it is that gave you that impression in the first place.
Either way, you've got
new conversational material to work with.
And the fifth and final tip is to flip the script
so that you're not the one
worried about running out of things to say.
Instead, allow the other person to move the conversation forward
by getting more comfortable with silence.
Seriously, three seconds might feel like a long time,
but if you can just take a deep breath
while maintaining easy eye contact,
more often than not, the other person will make a comment or ask you a question.
Or if you really want to encourage them to continue,
repeat back the last few words that they said.
This mirroring invites them to elaborate
and can often get people to open up in very powerful ways.
So there you have it.
Five quick and easy tactics that you can use today
to make sure that you never run out of things to say in conversation.
If you'd like these tips and want more advanced tips,
you might want to check out an online course that I created called Charisma University.
It has a full hour of my best strategies to become an expert conversationalist,
not to mention separate sections on creating amazing first impressions,
telling captivating stories,
developing rock-solid confidence,
and becoming an inspiring leader.
You can learn more and join today if you're interested by clicking the button now.
If you like this video and more like it on YouTube,
make sure to subscribe to the channel
and click that notification bell.
I hope that you enjoyed this video and I will see you in the next one.
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怕聊天沒話聊很尷尬?教你 5 種找話題的方法 (How To Never Run Out Of Things To Say In Conversation)

46279 分類 收藏
Carol Chen 發佈於 2018 年 6 月 14 日   Carol Chen 翻譯   Evangeline 審核

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想要交朋友,卻有社交恐懼嗎?和朋友交談時常常詞窮嗎?想知道如何成為更有魅力的人嗎?讓這部影片教你怎麼做!

1rears its (ugly) head 0:06
rears its ugly head 這個片語的意思是「某種負面的特質逐漸顯現出來」。
If you don't learn to love yourself first, don’t be surprised when jealousy and insecurity start to rear their ugly heads sooner than later in a new relationship.
如果你不懂得先愛自己,嫉妒心和不安全感等醜陋的負面情緒逐漸浮現是遲早的事。


2bridge0:47
bridge 是「橋樑」的意思,可以是具體的橋樑,或當作抽象的譬喻用法。
A lingua franca is a common language that serves as a bridge between speakers with different native languages.
通用語是擁有不同母語的交談者所共同理解的語言,能夠作為他們之間的橋樑。


bridge 也能當動詞使用,是「搭建橋樑」的意思。
Communication is necessary in order to bridge the differences between opposing groups.
要在持不同意見的雙方之間搭建橋樑,溝通是必要的。


*同場加映:
英文寫作技巧 (Writing - Transitions - in addition, moreover, furthermore, another)


3curious1:04
curious 的意思是「好奇的」。
Being intellectually curious is an attractive attribute.
有求知慾是個吸引人的特質。


curious 也有「奇特的」或是「令人玩味的」的意思 ,有時也可能是負面的。
The visitor's curious behavior raised concerns.
那個訪客奇怪的行為讓人不安。


「好奇心」則是 curiosity
Curiosity killed the cat.
好奇心害死貓。(過於好奇往往會惹上麻煩。)


4enthusiasm2:21
enthusiasm 是「熱情」、「熱忱」的意思。
The proposal was met with great enthusiasm.
這份提案獲得熱情的響應。


enthusiastic 則是 enthusiasm 的形容詞形式。
The audience broke into an enthusiastic round of applause.
觀眾給予熱情的掌聲。


*同場加映:
【職場的進擊】專家來教你,面試的「眉角」如何掌握?(Expert Advice on Job Interviews)


5elaborate 3:29
elaborate 當動詞使用時的意思是「詳盡闡述」、「詳細說明」。
Would you care to elaborate on the reason for your absence?
你可以詳細說明為什麼缺席嗎?


elaborate 較常做形容詞使用,意思是「繁複的」。
I stared at the elaborate interior of the palace for ages .
我凝視著宮廷繁複的室內裝潢許久。


*同場加映:
真的有文藝復興這回事嗎?(The Renaissance: Was it a Thing? - Crash Course World History #22)


下次結交新朋友時,不妨試試看影片中提及的秘訣,相信你也能藉此認識許多志同道合的人!

文/ Rachel Kung

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