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  • We know each other.

    我們彼此認識

  • You just haven't been on the show.

    妳只是沒上過我的節目

  • Yes.

    沒錯

  • Can you explain to people?

    妳可以跟大家解釋一下嗎?

  • Because I'd rather hear your version.

    因為我比較想聽妳的版本

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • I've never heard your version of the story.

    我還沒聽你講過這個故事

  • But tell people how we know each other.

    告訴大家我們怎麼認識的

  • How we met.

    我們怎麼認識的

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • I'm scared, because my husband's gonna kill me for telling this story.

    我有點害怕,如果我說了這個故事,我老公一定會想殺了我

  • But it's my favorite story ever.

    但這是我最喜歡的故事

  • And it's the story of how Ellen and I met.

    關於我跟 Ellen 如何認識的故事

  • So Tom and I, my husband, were on our honeymoon,

    我和我的老公 Tom 正在度被我們延期的蜜月

  • which we delayed because we shot "I, Tonya" at the beginning of the year and last year.

    因為去年跟今年初我們在拍攝「老娘叫譚雅」

  • And we had just gotten married, but we had to put off the honeymoon part.

    我們那時候才剛結婚,但必須把蜜月延期

  • And so we go to Tahiti.

    我們去了大溪地

  • And we go on to this island where you kind of live like Robinson Crusoe.

    在島上大家都像魯濱遜漂流記裡一樣生活著

  • Like, there's just, like, a shack that you stay in.

    妳只能住在一個簡陋的小屋

  • And there's no electricity.

    也沒有任何電

  • And there's no mirrors or anything like that.

    也沒有鏡子或任何像鏡子的東西

  • So we'd been there for four days.

    我們總共在那待了四天

  • And then the last bit of the honeymoon

    最蜜月的最後部分

  • was like a really nice hotel, like a really luxury--it was lovely.

    我們住進高級、奢華的飯店,非常愉快的時光

  • And so we get there, but it's raining.

    我們到的時候外面正下著雨

  • And we're like, oh--we, by the way, look disgusting.

    順便一提,我們那時候看起來很狼狽

  • Because we haven't seen our own reflections in four days.

    因為我們已經四天沒照鏡子了

  • And so we don't know what we look... -By the way, they did not.

    所以我們不知道我們... -順便一提,他們一點也不狼狽

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • But like, oh, what can we do here when it's raining?

    下雨的時候能幹嘛?

  • And they're like, oh, you know, there's a lovely spa.

    他們告訴我這裡有一個很棒的 spa

  • Or there's the gym.

    和健身房

  • And we're like, oh, I don't really want to work out.

    我一點也不想健身

  • But I guess we could do something at the gym.

    但起碼能在健身房做些事

  • And so we get changed to go to the gym.

    然後我們就換衣服準備要去健身房

  • And Tom puts in these shorts that are, like, his oldest gym shorts.

    Tom 穿上了一件像是骨董級的短褲

  • And they're tiny.

    而且非常小件

  • And they're really short.

    又超級短

  • And there's nothing underneath, so they're-- you know,

    裡面又什麼都沒穿

  • he gets on his bicycle to ride there.

    他騎上腳踏車準備出發

  • And I was like, whoa.

    我說:「哇嗚」

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • I was like, babe.

    我說:「寶貝」

  • I was like, you cannot wear those shorts.

    你不能穿這件短褲

  • They're, like, you know--I can see everything.

    這件褲子... 幾乎什麼都擋不住

  • And he was like, oh, come on.

    他說:「拜託」

  • Who are we going to run into?

    在這邊還能碰到誰?

  • I mean--

    你們懂的

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • --who's gonna be here?

    誰會跑來這?

  • And I was like, you're right.

    然後我就說:「有道理」

  • I mean, we'd just been on an island where no one else was for so long.

    我們來了一個很久沒人前往的島嶼

  • So I was like, yeah, you're right.

    所以我說:「你說的沒錯」

  • I mean, who are we going to see?

    我還能碰到誰?

  • And so we walk into the gym.

    我們一走進健身房

  • And running on a treadmill is Ellen.

    在跑步機上的就是 Ellen

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And--

    而且

  • And then on the treadmill next to her is Portia, her wife.

    旁邊那台跑步機是 Allen 的老婆 Portia

  • So Ellen looks over, and she was like--

    Ellen 看了我一眼

  • Wait, and then -Hey.

    等一下,然後... -嘿

  • No, no, no.

    不不不

  • All right, go ahead.

    好吧,妳繼續

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • That's not even the best bit.

    這還不是最精彩的

  • But already, Tom and I are like, oh my god.

    但 Tom 跟我已經快受不了

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And Tom's face has just gone white.

    Tom 的臉已經白了一半

  • And you're like, hi, hi.

    然後妳就說:「嗨、嗨」

  • And I was like, oh my gosh. Ellen, so lovely to meet you.

    我就說:「天啊,Ellen,很開心見到妳」

  • And you're like, this is my wife Portia.

    妳就跟我介紹,這是我的老婆 Portia

  • I was like, lovely to meet you, Portia.

    我說,Portia 很開心認識妳

  • I was already starstruck.

    我已經變小迷妹了

  • And then you're like, have you met Obama?

    然後妳說,妳見過歐巴馬了嗎?

  • And we were like....what?

    然後我們就... 什麼?

  • And standing next to them is former President Barack Obama.

    站在他旁邊的就是前總統巴拉克·歐巴馬

  • [APPLAUSE]

    (掌聲)

  • I'm not kidding.

    我沒在開玩笑

  • I'm not kidding-- in a gym that is tiny.

    沒開玩笑,在一間小小的健身房裡

  • -Yeah, the gym was the size of this stage. -Like even smaller.

    -那間健身房就跟這個舞台差不多大 -甚至更小

  • It was a very confined space.

    非常狹小的空間

  • And we then had to do this whole-- -Oh my god.

    但我們要做... -我的天

  • We had to do this whole class, like this stretching class.

    我們要上整堂伸展課

  • But Tom, meanwhile, is trying to not reveal anything.

    Tom 這時候正在想辦法不讓春光外洩

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And he's dying.

    他快掛了

  • And I'm crying so much, I'm about to crack a rib.

    我都快把我的肋骨給笑斷了

  • And literally, this gym instructor keeps saying to Tom, Tom, lunge.

    不誇張,那位健身教練還一直對 Tom 說:Tom 箭步蹲

  • Lounge, you're not lunging.

    箭步蹲,你那不是箭步蹲

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And Tom's like trying to lunge cross-legged.

    Tom 正努力試著雙腿交叉的箭步蹲

  • And Obama is stepping over his legs to put his weights back.

    歐巴馬在旁邊認真伸展他的雙腿

  • And like the whole thing was so absurd.

    這整件事真的太荒謬了

  • It was... -It was hilarious.

    真的是... -真的很好笑

  • I mean, when she says short-shorts, they were--

    他說的超短短褲,其實是...

  • I'm not exaggerating.

    我沒在誇張

  • They were to here--

    褲管只到這裡

  • [APPLAUSE]

    (掌聲)

  • --and wide.

    這麼寬鬆

  • Like, they very wide.

    真的超級寬

  • On a bicycle--

    在腳踏車上...

  • When he was lunging, we're like--

    當他在做箭步蹲的時候,我們就像這樣...

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And then at the end... -And then he was on the ground at one point, and like stretching.

    在最後... -然後有個動作是像這樣躺在地板伸展

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And this part, we're like, oh my god.

    看到這塊的時候,我們心裡想:「天啊」

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • We literally got to the end of the class.

    我們還真的上完了整堂課

  • And we're doing a last stretch, which was legs out like this.

    我們做了很多需要張開腿的伸展動作

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • And Tom's now got a towel on his crotch... -Yeah.

    Tom 在他的跨下放了條毛巾 -沒錯

  • --trying to be modest.

    想裝沒事

  • And his face just says it all.

    但他的臉已經出賣他了

  • He's like, I'm going to kill myself.

    看起來就像在對自己說:「我好想死」

  • This is the worst day of my life.

    這是我人生最慘的一天

  • And Ellen looks over and goes, boy, those were the wrong shorts to wear today.

    然後 Ellen 轉過頭來說:「兄弟,你今天不該穿這件短褲的」

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • Oh my god, it was hilarious.

    那真的超爆笑

  • And then, like two days later... -Way to break the ice.

    然後兩天後... -化解尷尬的一種方法

  • --we get laundry.

    我們要去拿洗好的衣服時

  • And I start looking through.

    我快速的檢查了一下

  • I was like, this is the wrong,

    我心想:「拿錯了吧」

  • it's a small, there's only like 10 cabins.

    這裡不大,差不多才 10 間小木屋而已

  • Yeah, it's tiny.

    真的很小

  • And I was like, this is not our laundry.

    這不是我們的衣服

  • And then I come across pink shorts.

    然後我看到粉紅色的短褲

  • And I was like, oh, I know whose this is.

    我心想:「我知道是誰的了」

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • I got Tom's shorts.

    我拿到 Tom 的短褲

  • No, I know where these go.

    我認得它

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • Oh, my god. I can't handle it.

    天啊,我快受不了了

  • But I mean, so Obama was...so he was there.

    歐巴馬那時候剛好也在

  • He happened to be there writing his book.

    他在那寫他的書

  • And so we were working out with him every day.

    我們每天都和他一起健身

  • And when you walked in and he's in those shorts,

    當你一走進去就看到 Tom 的超短短褲

  • I was like, oh, my god.

    我心想:「哦買尬」

  • This is gonna be hilarious.

    等下一定會很爆笑

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • It was honestly one of the funniest things that's ever happened.

    這真的是我遇過最好笑的事

  • But he's a huge fan of yours, Obama.

    歐巴馬其實是妳的鐵粉

  • I didn't even-- I obviously assumed that he would have no idea who I was.

    我根本...我以為他完全不知道我是誰

  • But when I walked in, you were like, oh, do you know Obama?

    我一走進去妳說:「妳認識歐巴馬嗎?」

  • I was like, no.

    我說:「不認識」

  • I was like, hello, sir.

    我說:「您好」

  • I don't know what to call you.

    我不知道怎麼稱呼您

  • And he was like, hello, yeah.

    然後他說:「妳好」

  • And he goes, you're a very talented actress.

    他繼續對我說:「妳是個非常有才華的演員」

  • And I was like, oh my god, Obama knows who I am.

    我心想:「天啊,歐巴馬竟然知道我是誰」

  • And he's like, we were just talking about you the other night.

    然後他說:「我們前幾天才剛聊到妳」

  • -I was like, you were? What? You were? -Yeah.

    -我說:「真的嗎?什麼?真的嗎?」-沒錯

  • That's crazy.

    太瘋狂了

  • No, he's up on. He's he knows what's going on.

    他知道現在流行的東西

  • Yeah, he's up with it.

    他有跟上流行

  • So I got you and Tom a gift.

    我準備了禮物給妳跟 Tom

  • I didn't know if he'd be here today.

    我不知道他今天會不會來

  • No.

    他沒來

  • But just so it doesn't happen again--

    為了不要再發生這種糗事

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • [APPLAUSE]

    (掌聲)

  • And there's--

    而且這裡有

  • [APPLAUSE]

    (掌聲)

  • Oh my god.

    天啊

  • There's some mesh in here--

    裡面有內搭網狀褲

  • [LAUGHTER]

    (笑聲)

  • --to hold it all together.

    把該包住的東西包起來

  • Thank you.

    謝謝

  • You're welcome.

    不客氣

  • Hi, I'm Andy.

    嗨,我是 Andy

  • Ellen asked me to remind you to subscribe to her channel

    Ellen 要我提醒妳們記得訂閱他的頻道

  • so you can see more awesome videos,

    才可以看更多很棒的影片

  • like videos of me getting scared or saying embarrassing things,

    像是一些我被嚇或聊些尷尬話題的影片

  • like ball-peen hammer, and also some videos of Ellen and other celebrities--

    像是圓頭錘,還有一些 Ellen 和其他名人的影片

  • if you're into that sort of thing.

    如果你對這些內容有興趣

  • [SCREAM]

    (尖叫聲)

  • [BLEEP]

    (嗶)

  • [MUSIC PLAYING]

    (背景音樂)

  • God [BLEEP].

    天啊 (嗶)

We know each other.

我們彼此認識

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