字幕列表 影片播放 列印英文字幕 - Hey loves, how's it going? It's Anne. If you are new to my channel, welcome. And if you have been following me, well, I know a lot of you have been asking me about my relationship, and all that fun stuff, and although I understand that I do not owe anyone an explanation or tell anyone anything about my personal life, I really don't mind, you know, and I just feel like it doesn't do you any good if you just keep everything to yourself. I used to be a very private person and I feel like it doesn't benefit me to just keep everything in, although there are, there's a fine line between what goes out there and what you keep to yourself. I just feel like if I can help anyone out there going through similar situations or just helping someone open a side of their mind, open a side -- opening to a new perspective and just helping them out, guiding them through their life's path, then it's all worth it. When I was younger, I wished that I had something like YouTube or something on social media where I can learn about other people's, you know, personal path and see that other people are going through the same struggles, or similar struggles. For those of you who have been following me, you know we're really close when you see me without my makeup, and I think we got to that level of closeness. (laughs) Okay, so with that being said, a lot of you have been asking me about where I am with my relationship because my last video, I talked about a move, how I moved into an apartment by myself and Eric and I are no longer together. According to YouTube time, it may seem like a surprise, like this happened overnight, but this was something that happened in the past year, and I just didn't feel like -- it was still too new for me to talk about and share. Vincent decided to live with Eric because Eric, his father, and Vincent's my son if you're new to my channel, so Vincent's my son and he decided to live with Eric, his father. Eric lives in the school district that he wants to go to and his friends are within that community, so it makes sense that way, and plus Vincent and I have been inseparable since the time that he was in my belly, so it only makes sense and I feel like it's fair that him and Eric have some bonding time together. He is always my baby, he is my number one forever, and no matter what, he's always my number one and even if he's living with Eric right now, it's okay. I totally trust Eric and I total respect for Eric as a father. I can only be happier if they bond and they share more time together. So I am totally okay with that. So we have a good system going on. It's not perfect, but it's a system that we're all okay with and we're happy with. With that being said, in the past few years, it was, I'd say 2017 was a pretty tough year. It started really rough. I don't know if you remember, if you have been following me, I kinda talked about how I was hospitalized the beginning of the year. I stopped making videos for about a month and a half or two months, and I put it on my vlog channel. I talked more about that on my vlog channel, but I kinda had a breakdown. It wasn't like a mental breakdown or something. It was, my body just wanted to shut down because I was so stressed that I develop a -- I barely ever have to go to the hospital, I'm always super healthy, but yeah, usually ovarian cyst happens when you're super stressed and my body was just so stressed out that I shut down and it was just like God was telling me like, "Anne, you need to stop "everything and just re-evaluate your life." And so that was what happened at the beginning of 2017. I just felt so restricted, like from growth and I didn't know what to do because I was basically living for someone else, you know? I was just not living for myself. I was not doing life for me, and my body was just like, shut down mode and I was hospitalized. It was good because I stopped everything and it gave me a little break. It's a very emotional topic to talk about and go back to because I -- my real self is always smiling, I'm happy, I love to be cheerful, I'm silly, I'm super chill when I'm happy, nothing really bothers me and I don't get offended easily, I don't get triggered easily, but the worst version of me is like -- my trigger moments is when someone limits me to what I can or cannot do or have so much expectation set on me, and although at the end of the day, it's only me that is responsible for myself, you know, I am the only person. At the end of the day, I am the only person that's responsible for my own happiness, my own mindset, my self, but I was not strong enough to realize that. I was not strong enough to do that, and although I understand it, it's just when you're in that moment, it's really hard to get out of it, and it's really hard to just stand up, stand tall and do what's best for you, because you're just, you want everybody else to be happy, you know? And so I feel like the last five years, I knew what I wanted, but I was so afraid because I was living based on everyone's expectations of who I should be and what I should do, and I was trying to make everyone happy. Make everyone's life comfortable except for mine, you know? I was living that, "Hey, try to keep this family "together, that's the only way that you "can be happy," and it wasn't. And I was a terrible -- I was not proud of who I was becoming. I didn't look forward to life at all. I was just, most of the time, in bed. I was depressed, and it's hard to go back there because it's not like a proud moment of who I was. When you wake up in the morning, you don't look forward to doing much and you just do what it is you have to do to get through each day, so that was what it, that is what it was like, you know? It was challenging. I don't wanna say it's hard, but it was definitely a challenging phase in my life, for sure. So now I'm living in West L.A. It's more vibrant and fun here for me. I feel more connected to this area than I do back in the OC, but the OC is driving distance away. I drive back there all the time to be with Vincent, to visit him, and he comes up here, too, whenever he can. So that's the dynamic we have now. It's not perfect, it's not the ideal picture-perfect family dynamic that you see on television or that you were used to hearing when growing up, but it's working for us, all of us, and Eric and I, we are still in constant communication with each other, we still talk, we co-parent, and we do the best we can.