See? I told you getting here would be a cakewalk!

看到？我告訴你到這兒會是小菜一碟！

A cakewalk?

小菜一碟？

H- How was that a cakewalk?!

如何是小菜一碟？

We got here in one piece, didn't we?

我們來到這裡在一塊，不是嗎？

But the two guys who came with us didn't!

但是跟我們一起來的連兩個人沒有！

W- We didn't even stop to help!

我-我們甚至沒有停下來幫忙！

The point is, WE made it here alive.

問題的關鍵是，我們做到了在這裡存活。

It's what they would have wanted.

這是他們想要的。

No, what they wanted was the zombies to stop eating their faces!

不，他們想要的是殭屍停止進食他們的臉！

Ah geez, you're being such a Debbie Downer.

啊天啊，你是這樣一個Debbie Downer。

Y'know, a reaaal Whitney Whiney.

你知道，一個拉~拉字至上真人秀。

A reaaal Colin Complainalot.

一個真的科林Complainalot。

A real *buuurp* little bitch.

一個真正的小婊子。

Alright, okay, stop crushing my balls

好吧，好吧，停止壓榨我的蛋

I get it. Lets just get the food supplies we need.

我知道了。讓我們得到我們需要的食物。

Oh great, the lights aren't working.

哦，太好了，燈壞了。

Well, the way I see it, you have two choices:

那麼，我看到它的，你有兩個選擇：

You can go- y-y-y-you know

你可以去你- 你知道

You can go to the back room and check the circuit breakers

你可以去後面的房間，檢查斷路器

Or you can gouge your eyes out with this rusty screwdriver.

或者，你可以用這個生鏽的螺絲起子挖掉你的眼睛。

I know which one would be funnier but

我知道哪一個會更有趣，但

Y-y-y-you know, y-y-you- y-you do- you do you.

你-你知道，你-你 - 你 - 你做 - 你做你。

W- what?! Why is that even an option?!

什-什麼？為什麼這甚至是一個選項？

Because this is a parody of those videogames where you have to make tough choices all the time.

因為這是那些你必須作出艱難的抉擇所有的時間視頻遊戲的蠢事。

W-w-was that not clear?

是-是還不夠清楚嗎？

You need me to say it again, because I will?

你需要我再說一遍，因為我會？

Okay, okay, I got it, alright? I'm not going to gouge my eyes out.

好吧，好吧，我知道了，好嗎？我不會去挖了我的眼睛。

Fine, g-g-g-g-go check the circuits then.

好吧，去-去檢查電路即可。

*buuurp* Such a bitch.

這樣的婊子。

Oh good, you found it.

哦，太好了，你發現它。

Well yeah, it wasn't hard you know

嗯，是的，是不需要努力的，你知道

I-i-i-it's the only interactable thing in this room.

它是這是這個房間唯一可以互動的東西。

Okay so, y-y-y-you got three choices:

好了，所以，你-你有三種選擇：

You can turn on the emergency lighting

您可以打開應急照明

Turn on the main generator

打開主發電機

Or stick your penis in a Scorpion nest.

或是把你的陰莖放在蝎子窩裡。

*pinces menacingly*

什麼？！ 為-為什麼你甚至把這個作為一個選項給我？

What?! W-why are you even giving me that as an option?!

因為我們生活在一個民主國家

Because we live in a democracy

和每一個美國人都有上帝賦予的權利，堅持在蠍窩他們的陰莖，除非他們想要共產主義。

and every American has the God-given right to stick their penis in a scorpion nest if they want to ya commie.

你知道，我 - 我不知道。我想，你知道，是什麼？你想要嗎？

You know, I- I don't know. I think, you know, what? Do you want to?

當然不，什麼 -你有什麼問題嗎？

*buuurp* Of course not, what- what's wrong with you?

*打開險惡照明*

*Turns on lighting menacingly*

是！我做了！燈光回來了！

YES! I did it! The lights are back on!

好了，現在讓拿食物和-

Alright, now lets grab the food and ru-

哦~~狗屎！

Ohhh shit!

AHHHHHHHH！

*Slumps and waddles over, menacingly*

是一個殭屍！

AHHHHHHHH!

快！

It's a zombie!

做點事！

Quick!

嗯，這沒有效。

Do something!

你是你的，孩子。

*Scorpions crunch menacingly*

喔~我該怎麼辦我該怎麼辦？

Well this didn't work.

嗯，我看到它的方式，你有兩個選擇：

You're on your own kid.

1號

*Unneccesary and menacing close-up of Rick's crotch*

你讓它吃你的臉

Ohhhh what do I do what do I do?

這是不是一種選擇！

Well, the way I see it, you've got two choices:

我想你會發現它是。

Number 1

屎！什麼是第二個選項？

*buuurp* Y-y-you let it e-e-e-e-eat your face

選項2號，你在與殭屍在身體上性交。

That's not an option!

什麼他媽你有什麼問題啊？

I think you'll find it is.

嗯，一對你-你知道，蝎子蜇傷，

Shit! What's the second option?!

但是，它可能會更糟！

Option number 2, you have physical intercourse with the zombie.

我可能是的你現在！

What the FUCK is wrong with you?!

好吧，我不能跑掉？

Eh, couple y-you know, scorpion stings,

或-或打殭屍？

But, it could be worse!

或-或使用生鏽的螺絲起子作為武器？

I could be you right now!

嘿，我給你有螺絲刀在你眼中的機會，你說不。

Well, can't I just run away?

你現在自作自受。

O-or fight the zombie?

這肯定是一個棘手的問題。

O-or use that rusty screwdriver as a weapon?

但是，我們活著出來。

Hey, I gave you the chance to have the screwdriver in your eye and you said no.

我依然可以感覺到蛆蟲。

You made your bed now sleep in it.

嘿，至少你能感覺到你的。

That sure was a sticky situation.

我的 - 我的垃圾是一塊麻木的磚！

But we made it out alive.

你知道，這件事是你的錯。

I can still feel the maggots.

你提出的所有選項都瘋了，絕不有幫助！

Hey, at least you can feel yours.

要知道，你-你你-你有第三個選項什麼也不做

My- my junk is as numb as a brick!

什麼也不做？！

You know, this whole thing was your fault.

是啊。我們沒有打開商店的燈光。

All the options you presented were insane and in no way helpful!

我們可以只用火把尋找食物

You know, y-y-you y-y-y-y-you had the third option of doing nothing.

並完全避免整-整個創傷-經驗。

Doing NOTHING?!

你知道嗎。 你-你做你想要什麼，你知道，活著和學習。

Yeah. We didn't HAVE to turn on the store lights.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

We COULD have just used the torches to find the food

and avoid the- the entire traumatic y- experience altogether.

Y'know. Y- you did what you wanted and y'know, live and learn.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH