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  • (Cues: Invader - Jim Johnston)

  • Wiz: The great philosopher Plato once said...

  • Boomstick: But to these guys power is the measure of a man.

  • Wiz: Sephiroth, the fearsome One-Winged Angel of Final Fantasy.

  • Boomstick: And Vergil, the half demon son of Sparta from Devil May Cry.

  • He's Wiz and I'm Boomstick.

  • Wiz: And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who will win...a DEATH BATTLE!

  • Through the millennia legends were passed down of a place with a source of unlimited energy.

  • The Promised Land.

  • Unfortunately all hope of finding this sacred ground had been lost...

  • Until the Shinra Electric Power Company excavated the remains of a being believed to hail from the very land they sought.

  • Boomstick: They called this weird, naked purple lady Jenova and thought that if they could bring her back to life.

  • She could help them find the Promised Land.

  • But apparently, they just didn't have any Phoenix downs.

  • Wiz: If they couldn't resurrect a being who could lead them to the Promised Land.

  • Shinra would simply create their own after many experiments infusing Jenova cells with those of a human's.

  • They finally found their savior.

  • His name was Sephiroth.

  • Boomstick: With hair like that, it's no wonder he was created in a lab!

  • Look at how majestic that mane is.

  • Wiz: According to Final Fantasy lore, Sephiroth has to use an entire bottle of shampoo and conditioner every single time he bathes.

  • Boomstick: Why do you know that?

  • Did you join his fan club or something?

  • Wiz: Uh... for research.

  • But Shinra wasn't interested in Sephiroth for his hair.

  • Instead he was an essential part of their SOLDIER program.

  • Boomstick: Wait, wait.

  • This electric company has their own private military!?

  • I'd hate to miss a payment with those guys.

  • Especially if they sent Seph after me.

  • I mean, look at the ridiculously long sword he keeps with him!

  • That's his Masamune.

  • This 7' 2" behemoth of a blade is a lot like the Nodachi swords they used back in Feudal Japan.

  • But instead of wieldin' simply long with two hands like those, Sephiroth only needs one.

  • Wiz: Even that speaks nothing of his effectiveness as a warrior.

  • Boomstick: Yeah, you know when people spread legends of someone they usually make him out to be even better than he really is.

  • It's the total opposite with Sephiroth.

  • Wiz: With his superhuman speed, strength and durability.

  • Sephiroth was instrumental in ensuring Shinra's victory in the Wutai war, conquering the last free nation on the planet.

  • He returned home a legend.

  • Boomstick: When all those warm, fuzzy feelings of victory didn't last long.

  • While on a mission to the town of Nibelheim.

  • Sephiroth found a bunch of books on the Jenova project.

  • That's when he discovered that he was a secret science project the whole time.

  • Wiz: The truth crushed Sephiroth and droved him mad.

  • In a rage he annihiliated Nibelheim but was stopped by a mercenary named: Cloud Strife.

  • Sephiroth was impaled by the Buster Sword and fell...

  • To his death.

  • Boomstick: Oh...

  • Well, that's disappointing...

  • Which is what I would've said, if Sephiroth hadn't been dropped into a hole in the ground that led him to the giant Windows screensaver called the Lifestream.

  • Wiz: The Lifestream is a buried river of energy which basically maintains life across the planet.

  • Normally merging with the Lifestream is the equivalent of entering the afterlife but not for Sephiroth.

  • Boomstick: And this is where things get weird so buckle up.

  • Still conscious Sephiroth's essence floated through the Livestream for years until he absorbed enough energy to rebuild his body.

  • With the energy of the Livestream he could control other beings with Jenova cells.

  • Including the corpse of Jenova.

  • Who he manipulated like a puppet and disguise as himself.

  • Boomstick: Oh, what the hell that's his mom?

  • Who would do that to her own mom!?

  • I mean, I know she's a genocide Lillian monster, but come on...

  • Probably makes good breakfast.

  • Wiz: But Sephiroth's descent into the Lifestream offered him even more.

  • It transformed him from a mere super soldier into the most dangerous being on the planet.

  • He's strong enough to throw a man hundreds of feet skyward, move at supersonic speeds and withstand brutal stab wounds through vital organs.

  • Boomstick: He's got illusion powers that can trick people by creating an entirely fake scenario.

  • He can lift people with his mind including himself.

  • And that he can just fly it's all worth right?

  • Wiz: Additionally Sephiroth can cast magic thanks to his on-hand Materia.

  • Materia is crystallized life energy which grants different powers according to the type of materia use.

  • Boomstick: This led Sephy attack with fire, lightning, ice and earth based magic.

  • He can block attacks with barrier and reflect and heal himself with Pure and Regen and ever since jumpin' into the Lifestream he's had unlimited access to his magical powers.

  • Wiz: With his new Godlike abilities Sephiroth began a plan to stop mankind from drying up the planet's life force.

  • Boomstick: That doesn't sound so scary.

  • That mean he's an environmentalist-err.

  • Wiz: But to do this he decided to use black materia to summon a giant meteor to destroy the planet and absorb all of its life energy for himself.

  • Boomstick: So like an opposite environmentalist.

  • A planet vampire.

  • I mean we're talkin' 'bout a guy who kicked a dude through solid concrete.

  • Murdered the crap out of a 30-foot serpent with a spike through the face and tanked a dragon's flamethrower attack without even getting a teensy bit hurt.

  • Wiz: A particularly impressive feat considering this attack was capable of one shooting fellow soldiers Zach Fair.

  • Boomstick: Huh, Wiz?

  • You may need to up your prescription 'cause that's definitely Cloud.

  • No, no Cloud was just recalling false memories there it was really Zach.

  • However it was Cloud who impaled Sephiroth pre-Lifestream with the Buster Sword.

  • Boomstick: And Holy God is it huge it's like two feet wide.

  • You think of stabbed from that thin' with just cut him in half.

  • But Seph's just kind of shook it up.

  • Wiz: And in his rematch with Cloud he blocked in an attack strong enough to crater the metal around him.

  • Considering the diameter of the crater the surface area of Sephiroth's feet and assuming the most likely steel composition.

  • I estimate this attack to equal nearly 1,600 tons of force.

  • Boomstick: Sephiroth can use that wicked sword to stab and lift wanna be heroes by their ribcage.

  • Slice through skyscrapers and shoot energy beams that can shred these huge Mako cannons.

  • And from the Lifestream Sephy figured out he could create new bodies or even take on other forms.

  • Wiz: These forms greatly resemble certain creatures found in Christian and Jewish mythology.

  • Boomstick: He certainly looks the part when he goes into his ultimate form.

  • Wiz: Regardless Sephiroth does possess a single black wing.

  • A blight and symbol of his fall from grace.

  • Boomstick: So basically Final Fantasy does everything it can to not be subtle.

  • Just like Sephiroth's most devastating attack: Supernova.

  • Which decimates an entire solar system.

  • Wait if Seph's that powerful how does anyone ever beat him?

  • Wiz: Don't get the wrong idea.

  • There's a lot of debate over how Supernova actually works, but I think it's pretty clear that Sephiroth isn't creating the explosion himself.

  • Rather he's transporting his foes to a specific point in time within an alternate dimension.

  • Boomstick: Careful Wiz don't sell him short.

  • Wiz: Just look at it.

  • When he uses the attack reality literally crumbles away like glass.

  • This is identical to the animation for certain summoned creatures.

  • According to the official Crisis Core complete guide.

  • And this is no different.

  • In Dissidia fighting game Sephiroth goes for the simple approach and opens a dimensional hole to the explosion.

  • The attack is even described as sending destruction even into other dimensions.

  • And if he could summon planet busting meteors at will.

  • Why did he go through so much trouble to get the black materia?

  • Which literally summons meteors.

  • Boomstick: That would explain why the Supernova doesn't hurt him he's not really there just using those illusion powers of his.

  • With all these powers I can't believe Cloud and friends were able to take him down.

  • Wiz: He's not invincible but he's damn powerful.

  • Ever persistent Sephiroth departed with a final chilling promise.

  • Sephiroth: I will...

  • Never be a memory.

  • Boomstick: Why does he sound so bored?

  • Wiz: 2000 years ago, a great mutiny transpired in the Underworld.

  • The demon warrior Sparta rebelled against his evil master Mundus.

  • To protect the world Sparta did his best to seal the connection between Hell and Earth.

  • Boomstick: But then Sparta got lonely or maybe it was just a sausage fest in there.

  • Either way he snuck out of hell long enough to knock up this chick named Eva.

  • And she popped out a couple of awesome demon slayers.

  • Nice choice.

  • Wiz: You may already know the younger of the two, Dante.

  • Boomstick: Oh yeah, he fought that witch chick with the hair.

  • Wiz: But the eldest and potentially deadliest brother the one and only Vergil.

  • Boomstick: Vergil and Dante were rivals from birth.

  • Dante was a goofball, Vergil was serious.

  • Dante hated his being a demon, and Vergil loved it.

  • It's that classic odd couple scenario.

  • Wiz: But then one fateful day, in an act of vengeance against the late Sparda, a group of rogue demons separated the two brothers and killed their mother.

  • Vergil was believed to be dead.

  • But in reality, Vergil survived and set out on his own path to seek his father's immense power for himself.

  • Boomstick: And he's 100% equipped to be a butt kickin' demon slayer just like his pops.

  • As a half-demon, Vergil can jump several times his own height, move at supersonic speeds, and heal himself quickly kind of like that Wolverine guy.

  • He can tough out getting stabbed through the lungs, intestines, the heart, body parts I'm pretty sure most people need.

  • Wiz: Not if my experiment has anything to say about it...

  • Boomstick: Did you say somethin' Wiz?

  • Wiz: I said not if Vergil's abilities have anything to say about it!

  • Boomstick: Well, sadly for any human demon or human demon who gets in his way. Vergil also happens to carry some extra deadly weapons on hand, includin' a spiffy katana called Tomato.

  • Wiz: Yamato.

  • Boomstick: Eh.

  • It's said that this sword can cut through anythin', even dimensions.

  • And probably tomatoes.

  • Actually Yamato is the exact thing Sparta used to seal Hell from Earth in the first place.

  • Wiz: Virgil's sword fighting prowess draws from his dark slayer fighting style.

  • Which emphasizes teleportation, lightning quick movements and even quicker slashes straight from the sheet.

  • This technique is directly by Iaijutsu the real life japanese art of the quick draw.

  • And thanks to Vergil's demonic powers.

  • He can attack so fast the blade seems invisible.

  • Boomstick: Uh the only thing better than fightin' with one sword is fightin' with eight.

  • With Vergil's ghostly summons swords he can turn himself into a livin' beyblade.

  • Fire 'em like a machine gun or...

  • Make it rain.

  • Wiz: Blades maybe Virgil's bread and butter but if he needs to focus on brute strength he switches to Beowulf.

  • Boomstick: He can charge off blink of an eye punches and kicks that hit like a cement truck made of lead and k.o. some of the toughest demons in just a few hits.

  • And hey looks like he digs Street Fighter.

  • Wiz: There's one more trick up Vergil sleeve.

  • Thanks to his demon blood he can access a form known as Devil Trigger.

  • And this mode amplifies everything.

  • His strength, speed and healin' all get a huge boost makin' him several times deadlier than before.

  • Plus he just looked badass.

  • Wiz: In his quest to become as powerful as his father Vergil's abilities skyrocket.

  • He's taken down dozens of demons in the blink of an eye and escaped an illusion from the sorcerer Arkham which makes normal people go crazy.

  • Boomstick: But if anything's gonna show up what a son of Sparta can really do it's pitting him against his bro.

  • Sure Vergil can easily avoid Dante's bullets but why dodge them when you can spin your sword line them all up and fire 'em back.

  • Like a boss.

  • Wiz: In the same battle they briefly created a 12-foot diameter open space in a heavy rainstorm with nothing but their sword swings.

  • On average storms can fill a cubic foot space with as many as 30 raindrops.

  • So Vergil and Dante must have destroyed 108,000 raindrops in less than a second.

  • Boomstick: If Vergil can swing a sword that fast; I bet he'd make a killin' mowin' lawns or choppin' meat at the deli or givin' haircuts.

  • Or doin' that thin' where he jumps bad guys to pieces so fast they don't even realize they're dead yet.

  • Like when he fought Beowulf.

  • The monster not the weapon.

  • And then he punched him so hard he flew 55 feet up and hit the ceiling.

  • Wiz: When comparing Beowulf size to Vergil he appears to be as large as an elephant.

  • Given what's available this seems like our best measure of Vergil's strength.

  • But there is one issue.

  • The Devil May Cry series makes frequent use of slow motion to depict the absurdity of these characters and this could be a similar case.

  • Boomstick: So let's look at another slow-mo feat: The rainstorm fight.

  • Wiz: At one point the rain freezes in place for about two and a half seconds as Vergil and Dante keep moving.

  • Indicating a 14,500 percent speed increase in real time.

  • Applying the same degree to the Beowulf punch gives us an acceleration speed of about 4,882 feet per second.

  • With that in mind we can apply our previous data to deduce the maximum heights and ceiling and determined Vergil's striking strength to be nearly 720 million newtons of force.

  • Boomstick: That's a lot.

  • Wiz: It matches Vergil's incredible toughness too.

  • Boomstick: We already mentioned its super healing factor but its even more overpowered than you think.

  • Vergil once got completely cut in half but healed so fast that it's impossible to even notice.

  • Wiz: And his regeneration ability can be worn down.

  • Boomstick: Yeah that's how this weird jester guy beat him.

  • Wiz: But it takes a lot to pull off.

  • And Vergil can always just use Yamato to hop through dimensions to get away if he wants.

  • Boomstick: Sadly Vergil never got to rule the demon realm like he wanted.

  • Wiz: Instead the Demon King Mundus permanently transformed Vergil into his puppet.

  • Irreversibly manipulating his mind in the process.

  • Boomstick: And then Dante kind of...

  • Exploded him.

  • But one or two losses against someone who's basically goddamn Satan hardly makes him a weakling.

  • Wiz: Hell and Earth trembles before the power of Vergil.

  • Vergil: It'll be fun to fight with the Prince of Darkness.

  • If my father did it...

  • I should be able to do it too.

  • (screaming)

  • Wiz: All right the combatants are set.

  • Let's end this debate once and for all.

  • Boomstick: But before we get to the bloody slicin' and dicin'.

  • Pick up some Blue Apron and slice and dice in your kitchen.

  • Wiz: Blue Apron's goal is to make incredible home cooking accessible to anyone and it can because it's the number one fresh ingredient and recipe delivery service in the country.

  • Boomstick: With their easy-to-follow instructions I whip me up a delicious meal in no time.

  • Wiz: Blue Apron delivers fresh pre-portion ingredients and step-by-step recipes right to your door that can be cooked in under 45 minutes.

  • The menu changes every week based on what's in season and is designed by Blue Apron's in-house culinary team.

  • Boomstick: You choose the plan that works best for you.

  • Whether you're makin' a meal for two people or your family of four.

  • There's tons of new recipes to choose from each week.

  • Wiz: And if you want more than one go for it.

  • Depending on your plan you can pick two to four meals from Blue Apron's delicious recipes every week.

  • Boomstick: Then there's my favorite The Wine Plan.

  • Where you get six bottles of wine from renowned wine makers delivered monthly.

  • Wiz: Blue Apron is treating DEATH BATTLE viewers to their first three meals with your first order if you visit BlueApron.com/Battle

  • That's a $30 value.

  • Boomstick: I've got dibs on the roasted chicken and maple butter with mashed sweet potato and colored greens.

  • Wiz: Blue Apron sends only non GMO ingredients and meat with no added hormones.

  • Boomstick: So check out this week