No, it's our first time.

沒有，這是我們第一次來

And I have a few things to explain to you.

那我跟你們解釋一些事情

We do small plate family-style tapas here

我們做的是小小盤的自助式 tapas (註：類似下酒菜)

which means that all of our dishes are just tiny bite-sized amounts of food meant to be shared among 8 people.

也就是說我們的餐點都是八人份的一口的大小

So everyone only gets a half bite of the food?

所以每個人只吃得到半口的食物嗎？

No, someone will always eat more than their share.

不，總有人會吃超過他們被分配到的份量

Interesting. Now, tell me, are your dishes composed of 5 discrete bites of food,

真有趣，那你們的餐點是由 5 小口的食物所組成嗎

like 5 scallops in a delicate tower of garnishes for instance?

例如 5 個扇貝擺在精緻的食物塔中當裝飾嗎？

Yes, always 5 or some other prime number.

對，永遠都是 5 個或其他質數

Even though they're meant to be shared.

就算他們是要拿來分享的

That's right. Although some of our dishes are just large bowls of sauce

沒錯，雖然我們有些餐點就只是一大碗的醬料

which as you can imagine are hard to distribute on those tiny share plates.

你可以想得到這很難用小盤子分享

So for those you'll just pass them back and forth

所以你們就傳來傳去

or you can awkwardly sit and watch your partner eat while you wait.

或你可以在等醬料的時候，尷尬地坐著看你的朋友

Now, how many dished do you recommend for just the two of us?

那你建議我們兩個人點幾道菜？

Oh, it totally depends how hungry you are.

噢，這要看你有多餓

Are you hungry?

你很餓嗎？

Oh, yes, we're at dinner.

噢對，我們是來吃晚餐的

I see. Then I'd say 5-18 dishes.

了解，那我建議要點 5-18 道菜

Although this tiny table will only fit 3.

雖然這個小桌子只放得下 3 道菜

Sounds like a lot.

聽起來要點的食物很多啊

Oh, actually most of our dishes are quite small.

噢，其實我們大部分的餐點都蠻小的

As you can see the known supper, it's actually just a dewdrop served on an acorn.

像你所看到的，那就是像個露珠大小的橡果而已

Do you have anything a little heartier?

你們有再大一點的餐點嗎？

Yes, there is one item on our menu that's fuckin' enormous

有的，菜單上有一道菜的份量真的特別大

but I won't tell you which one that is.

但我不會告訴你是哪一道

Alright, well, sounds like we have some decisions to make.

好吧，聽起來我們要做一些選擇

Well, before you do, I'd love to test your memory by rattling off the specials.

那在你做選擇之前，我想快速地告訴你今天的特餐，測試看看你的記憶力

We have 3 specials tonight, but you're not gonna be able to tell when I'm finished describing the first one and moving on to the second.

我們今晚有 3 個特餐，但在我描述完第一個特餐後，開始描述第二個特餐，你還是無法猜出來

We're serving a bruised squid covered in kumquat pollen and Potocki mushroom broth

我們提供以金桔花粉、蘑菇高湯調味的瘀青烏賊

and ramps and andhovies and halibut in a lemon cream sauce.

以及佐檸檬奶油醬的鯷魚和大比目魚

Those are the first two. And then we also have a build-your-own dish which is fun at first.

這是前兩道菜，然後我們有自己 DIY 動手做的餐點，這一開始會很有趣

That looks nice. Can I ask how much that is?

看起來不錯，我可以問問它的價格嗎？

You can, but I'm goona think you're a cheapskate if you don't end up ordering it.

可以啊，但如果你最後沒有點的話，我會覺得你是小氣鬼

Perfect. I think we might need a minute or two before we decide.

太棒了，我覺得我們需要 1-2 分鐘做決定

Great. Can we start you off with any drinks while you wait?

好的，那可以在等待時為你們做飲品的點餐嗎？

Yes, what's the bachelor martini?

好啊，鰥夫馬丁尼是什麼？

All of our drink are just classic cocktails with one weird liquor.

所有的飲品都是含有奇怪的酒的經典雞尾酒

Woo... I'll have one of those and then googlebots are on my phone after you leave

那我要一杯鰥夫馬丁尼，還有你離開之後再點一杯 googlebots are on my phone (飲品的名字)

so I don't have to admit ignorance.

所以我就不用承認我的無知了

And I will have the carafe of wine that inexplicably cost the same as a full bottle.

那我要跟一瓶滿滿的酒價格相同的酒

It's an excellent choice. I will be right back with them.

這是非常棒的選擇，我等等就把酒端上來

Great. Thank you.

好的，謝謝你

Oh, one last thing, will you bring out our dishes in a completely random order?

噢，最後一個問題，你會以隨機的順序上菜嗎？

Of course. We will serve 4 dishes in rapid succession and then salad at last.

當然，我們會迅速地連續上 4 道菜，最後上沙拉

Great. Thank you.

好的，謝謝你

Okay, forward to this....

好，繼續前面說的...

Hi, it's Mike Trapp from College Humor.

嗨，這是 College Humor 的 Mike Trapp

If you want to subscribe, click here.

要訂閱的話，點這裡

If you want to watch more videos, click here.

想看更多影片的片，點這裡

And if you want to investigate the Spooky Ole McCreary House even your mom warned you not to, turn to page 87.

如果你想調查連媽媽都警告你不能這麼做的鬧鬼鬼屋，去第 87 頁吧