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  • It was announced that that China's number one television show

    中國第一名的電視劇

  • Return Of the Pearl Princess

    《還珠格格》宣布要推出

  • is being dubbed into English

    英語配音版本

  • for American audiences.

    給美國觀眾

  • This show is about the adventures of Chinese princess

    這齣戲是關於中國 1759 年

  • in the year 1759, during the Ching dynasty,

    清朝公主的歷險記

  • and it is beloved in China.

    在中國受到廣大的喜愛

  • Okay? They just love this show.

    好嗎?他們超愛這齣戲

  • Well, for some reason,

    因為一些原因

  • the producers of the Return of the Pearl Princess,

    《還珠格格》的製作人問

  • asked Andy and I to be the English voices

    Andy 和我是否願意當這齣戲的英語配音員,

  • that they dub in for American audiences.

    給美國的觀眾的

  • I'm not kidding about this.

    我沒有在開玩笑

  • Yeah.

  • They just heard that like,

    他們只是聽說

  • "Oh, these are big guys in America, they're a big deal."

    「噢,這些人在美國很有名,他們來頭很大。」

  • They should do it. They didn't do their research, clearly.

    他們應該要,但他們沒做好功課

  • The offer came in and we had to say yes.

    他們邀約了,所以我們無法拒絕

  • So, the other day, Andy and I went over to a production studio

    因此,Andy 和我某天去了一趟北好萊塢的

  • in North Hollywood.

    工作室

  • This all really happened, and well, here's the deal.

    這些事真的發生了,這樣好了

  • Check it out.

    來看看吧

  • Hey, Andy and I are here at Bang Zoom Studios,

    嘿,Andy 跟我在 Bang Zoom 工作室

  • and we're here for a very special project.

    為了一個特別計劃

  • This is Bran.

    這是 Bran

  • Bran.

    Bran

  • - You have the number one show in China. - Yup.

    - 你的戲劇在中國排行第一 - 對

  • You've come to America,

    你來美國

  • and you're letting us be the voices,

    然後你要讓我們為這齣戲

  • the English voices of the show.

    配上英文

  • This is a terrible mistake.

    這是個天大的錯誤

  • I'm warning you.

    我警告你

  • Just so you know.

    先讓你知道一下

  • We were honest up front, your career is through,

    我們先對彼此誠實,你的職業生涯完了

  • let's go and destroy the most beloved show in China, shall we?

    我們來摧毀中國人最喜愛的戲劇,好嗎?

  • Could you tell us basically what we're doing?

    你可以告訴我們現在要幹嘛嗎?

  • OK, basically, we're going to take this Chinese dialogue

    好,基本上,我們要用這個中文對話

  • and we're gonna dub it into English.

    配音成英文

  • You said episode 22?

    你說第 22 集?

  • Episode 22, and it will say "Scene 1."

    22 集,然後這裡有寫「第一幕」

  • I think we have our motivation,

    我覺得我們有動力

  • I think we understand, and I think we're ready to go.

    也瞭解了,我們可以準備開始

  • Your majesty, please pardon me, forgive me.

    皇上,請寬恕我,原諒我

  • Who told you to investigate Sparrow? Talk!

    誰叫你審問小燕子的?說!

  • It was the emperor.

    是皇帝

  • What emperor?

    什麼皇上?

  • When did I tell you to interrogate?

    我什麼時候叫你審問?

  • I... talking too slowly.

    我...我講太慢了

  • Who gave you such orders?

    誰給你這個指令?

  • I'm not catching up with... you're ahead of me

    我沒趕上...你超越我了

  • Did I see the documents?

    我有看過檔案嗎?

  • I'm lost on the page...

    我不知道我唸到哪裡了...

  • Whose orders?!

    誰的命令?!

  • I'm lost.

    我搞混了

  • Now you say, just say "A eunuch."

    你現在只要說「A 太監」

  • Now listen, we got a little behind

    現在聽著,我們有點落後了

  • I won't let that happen again.

    我不會讓這種事再發生

  • Alright.

  • I hope Bran is OK with this, but script is fine,

    我希望 Bran 可以接受,這個劇本蠻普通

  • but Andy and I are professionals,

    但 Andy 跟我是專業的

  • we like to add a little spice this go around.

    我們希望加一點東西進去

  • Ah... your majesty.....

    啊...皇上...

  • Why are you wearing the royal bath towel?

    為什麼你披著皇家牌毛巾?

  • Take it off.

    脫掉它

  • I was told to wear this...

    我被要求要這樣...

  • Told by whom?

    被誰要求?

  • Not me, not me at all.

    不是我,根本不是我

  • I was told by... the ladies of The View.

    我是被... The View 上的女士們 (註:The View 為美國婦女談話節目)

  • "Wear this!"

    「穿上它!」

  • Which one was it?

    哪一個?

  • Joy Behar.

    Joy Behar

  • Joy Behar! I hate her.

    Joy Behar! 我恨她

  • She's funnier than the others.

    她比其他人好笑

  • Whoopi's funny!

    Whoopi 很好笑

  • Whoopi's never been funny!

    Whoopi 從不好笑!

  • Don't you talk to me that way.

    你別這樣跟我說話

  • That's just a better scene.

    這就比較好了啊

  • Very good.

    很棒

  • - Take off your mask. - No!

    - 掀開你的面具 - 不!

  • Now listen to me, when the prince is speaking,

    現在聽我這邊,當王子說話時

  • you will remain silent.

    你們要保持沈默

  • Is that understood?

    這樣了解嗎?

  • Now, which one of you took the magic corn cob?

    現在,你們哪一個要拿玉米魔法棒?

  • Magic corn cob?

    玉米魔法棒?

  • - I had nothing to do with any corn cob! - Aaaaaaaah!

    - 我跟玉米魔法棒一點關係也沒有!- 啊...

  • I got this knife online.

    我在網路上買了這個刀子

  • Don't show them the knife now.

    先不要給他們看刀子

  • Show it to them later.

    等等再給他們看

  • I wanna see the knife, too.

    我也要看刀子

  • I wanna see whatever cutlery you have.

    我想要看你們有的刀具

  • You will see no cutlery.

    你看不到任何刀具

  • Alright, I'm fine. I won't see no cutlery.

    好,我可以不看刀具

  • And I won't show you the knob on top of my hat.

    我也不會給你看我帽子上的圓頭

  • You won't get to touch it either.

    你也不能摸它

  • I must see the knob on your hat.

    我一定要看到你帽子上的圓頭

  • Crack!

    喀!

  • That's the sound my knuckles make

    這個是我關節發出的聲音

  • when it's moist in the air.

    當空氣很潮濕的時候

  • And I haven't have any Tylenol.

    然後我沒有泰諾 (註:泰諾是美國止痛藥)

  • My best friend, Tylenol.

    我最好的朋友,泰諾

  • Crack!

    喀!

  • Let's go to the new scene.

    我們開始新的一幕

  • Very quickly hit the Purple Hooligan

    很快地打紫衣流氓

  • Wait there's a Purple Hooligan?

    等等,這裡有紫衣流氓?

  • Well, that was fun. You're ready to give up now?

    好吧,這很好玩,你準備要投降了嗎?

  • Or you want more?

    還是你還要再來?

  • Who you think you are? (unintelligible)

    你以為你是誰? (無法辨識的說話聲)

  • Ah! Dumpling!

    啊!包子!

  • Who else wants to talk?

    誰還敢說話?

  • - Let get out of here. - Dumplings!

    - 我們快走 - 包子!

  • - They taste delicious! - Don't let him throw soup! - They're high in salt!

    - 他們很好吃!-不要讓他拿走! - 這鹽分很高!

  • Let me I understand what I just saw.

    讓我理解一下我剛剛看到的東西

  • There is a tough guy in the ground...

    有個難搞的傢伙在地上

  • The Purple Hooligan.

    紫衣流氓

  • ...and the good guy, to shut him up,

    ...然後那個好人,讓他閉嘴

  • kicks a dumpling into his mouth.

    踢了一個包子到他嘴巴裡

  • In the Wild West, they used six-shooters,

    在西部都用六發左輪手槍

  • in the Qing dynasty, they used dumplings.

    在清朝,他們用包子

  • I think they are afraid because they're so high in sodium.

    我覺得他們害怕的原因是因為包子的鈉含量很高

  • Well also, too, there's no dipping sauce.

    可能吧,他們也沒有沾醬

  • Alright, we are in the emperor's quarters,

    好,我們現在到皇宮

  • and we'll give you a preview.

    然後會先給你們看一個預告

  • Look at that hot kissing on a rock.

    看看他們在石頭上熱吻

  • Shh, hold up, can we start it again? I'm trying to get into the mood.

    噓,閉嘴,我們可以重新開始嗎?我試著醞釀情緒

  • I'm sorry. There are some sexy action.

    我很抱歉。這裡有好多性感橋段

  • Shut up! Dammit!

    閉嘴!該死!

  • I'm trying to get into the mind of a Tibetan chieftain.

    我在揣摩西藏酋長的心情

  • Nooo! Oh! You've got a Hobbit door.

    不!噢!你的門也太小了吧

  • Hey! As it turned out, Sayat changed her mind.

    嘿!劇情急轉直下,塞婭改變心意了

  • Yes she wants to know, to no longer marry ER Kang.

    對,她想知道,過不久要跟爾康結婚

  • Now she wants to marry ER Tai.

    現在她想跟爾泰結婚

  • Classic Tibetan fickleness.

    典型三心二意的西藏人

  • I told you it'd be the other way.

    我早告訴你會這樣了

  • You talked for too long, and now I'm in a pickle,

    你講太久了,我遇到了困難

  • you see, because of your talking too long.

    你看,就因為你講太久了

  • Let's go get pickles.

    我們去吃點醃菜吧 (註:pickle 同時是醃菜的意思)

  • Hahahaha

    哈哈哈哈

  • I don't even know what they are.

    我根本不知道那是啥

  • This gonna be hard.

    這很難

  • This is not a easy one.

    這不簡單

  • You know just as well as I do.

    你跟我一樣清楚

  • There are so many misunderstandings and so many problems.

    這之間有太多誤會跟問題了

  • Yes, yes, that's true.

    對、對、這是真的

  • It's true what you say, but I didn't rehearse this part.

    你說的都對,但我沒彩排過這段

  • And now, I'm just filling in.

    現在,我只是在填空

  • And now.

    現在

  • Yes, I know what we could do.

    對,我知道我們該做什麼

  • No, I can do... we can go to IKEA, we can build...

    不,我可以...我們可以去宜家家居,我們可以建造

  • Would you like lingonberries?

    你喜歡越橘嗎?(註:一種莓果)

  • It's not very traditional Chinese dish, but lingonberries,

    它不是傳統的中國菜,但越橘

  • they're delicious,

    很好吃

  • like cranberries! In fact, I think they just are cranberries.

    像蔓越莓!事實上,我覺得他們就是蔓越莓

  • - Has anybody— - You're just acting like a mad man!

    - 這邊有人... - 你像是個發瘋的男人

  • When I say I'm going to IKEA, I meant to buy furniture.

    當我說要去宜家家居的時候,我的意思是要買傢俱

  • You're talking about lingonberries!

    然後你跟我說越橘!

  • That's insanity!

    真的是瘋了!

  • There's meatballs, too.

    他們也有肉丸

  • It just don't have to be lingonberries.

    不一定要是越橘

  • Now I'm talking off camera, I can say whatever I want!

    現在沒有攝影機在拍我,隨便我怎麼說!

  • Oh, I back, hello.

    好,我回來了,哈囉

  • Look, let's just get out of here and go to IKEA like you said.

    這樣,我們就離開這裡然後像你說的,去宜家家居

  • Wait a minute!

    等一下!

  • That's crazy, Will.

    這太狂了,Will

  • You have to have money to buy something in IKEA.

    你要有錢才能在宜家家居買東西

  • They don't take... Chinese currency!

    他們不收...中國貨幣!

  • Now, wait a minute I have one more thing to say.

    現在,等等,我還有一件事要說

  • I think is important for you,

    我覺得對你來說很重要

  • stop making the noises while I'm talking to you.

    我在說話的時候不要發出那種聲音

  • That's rude... to keep saying those things...

    一直這樣...很沒禮貌

  • those... noises you're making, while I'm trying to speak,

    那些...你製造的聲音,當我想要說話的時候

  • are madness!

    很瘋狂!

  • Now, if it is...

    現在,如果...

  • I love you!

    我愛你!

  • I've always loved you.

    我永遠愛你

  • Bran, what do you think of the work that Andy and I did today?

    Bran 你覺得我跟 Andy 今天表現得如何?

  • Did you enjoy it?

    你享受在其中嗎?

  • Yeah!

    對!

  • I was just informed a minutes ago,

    我剛剛才從美國財政部

  • by the United States Treasury,

    得知

  • that, by us, doing the show you today,

    我們今天幫你的戲劇配音

  • we have erased America's debt, financial debt, to China,

    已經清除了美國欠中國的債了

  • completely erased.

    全部還清了

  • And Andy and I are being awarded to congressional medals,

    Andy 跟我會得到國會勳章

  • so thank you.

    所以謝謝你

  • Thank you Conan, thank you, what's your name?

    謝謝康納,謝謝,你的名字?

  • Andy.

    Andy

  • Andy?

    Andy?

  • Yes.

It was announced that that China's number one television show

中國第一名的電視劇

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