Announcer: Follow these steps and you, too, can be like us, eh?

Still working on the rigs?

No, I got laid off.

If you don't get to work, you're not coming to the Burr,

you greasy Bluenoser!

There's always next year.

Dude, I got the munchies.

Can we get sushi?

[French accent] Ey!

I've gone and spilled the mustard on my favourite shirt!

♪ on the table ♪

Announcer: Pay tribute to our fallen soldiers

by gently stabbing yourself with a poppy.

Oh sweet, Timbits!

Oh, great, you guys ate all the good ones again.

Ah!

Ugh!

Ah!

[dial tone]

Argh!

Ugh, you should really take off that poppy.

This poppy?

No, I can't take this poppy off.

You see, our forefathers, they sacrificed their lives

for the rights and for the freedoms that we enjoy

to this day.

The least I can do is wear this one little flower for...

For...

♪ [bugle]

♪ ["Body Break" theme]

♪ Body break get moving ♪

Yo, can I trade you ketchup for all dressed?

Sure.

[singing along] ♪ SleepCountry Canada ♪

♪ why buy a mattress anywhere else? ♪

Ding!

♪ drugs drugs drugs ♪

♪ which are good which are bad ♪

TV Announcer: The North American House Hippo

is found throughout Canada and the Eastern United States.

How come I've never seen a House Hippo?

Have you seen a House Hippo?

TV Announcer: ...and they're rarely seen...

♪ [rustic]

Announcer: Try your hardest to push the middle

out of a toonie.

Ah, she'll go. Give me a try, eh?

♪ ♪

Cool.

Wait.

Isn't defacing money illegal?

Police: Come out with your hands up!

Police: Come out with your hands up! Police: Come out with your hands up!

Announcer: Love your Canadian celebrities.

[sighs] Oh Justin, you're so dreamy.

Everything about you is so hot.

Your hair, your tattoo,

your powerful elbows.

♪ [sultry]

Suzie, come quick!

The Barenaked Ladies and Gordon Lightfoot

are on George Stroumboulopoulos!

Wait a second, what are you doing?

uh, just doing my social studies.

I'll come join you on the chesterfield.

♪ ♪

Announcer: Respect the Canadian legal system.

♪ ♪

Hey there, fellas.

Oh shoot, it's the RCMP!

That graffiti there is in direct violation

of section 22B of the Official Languages Act.

English and French, please.

Merci!

Bonne nuit, les boys!

Announcer: Recognize that whether you love or hate hockey

you'll probably get drunk because of it.

And that's why I'm wearing green and this beautiful hat.

Oh! They're talking about Don's clothing, drink!

Kids, when you--

Drink!

Sedin, and we've got to go quick, we've got 1:45--

They're running out of time, drink!

It's a gimmick, it's the same thing--

Oh yeah, he's doing the piano thing.

Drink, that's two, that's two.

M-m!

It's two!

When you don't want a dog to kill chickens,

hang a chicken around its neck,

he'll never touch it again.

Everyone finish your mickeys.

What? I thought we were drinking 2-6s.

Announcer: Learn the Canadian version of American things.

Announcer: Take advantage of free health care.

Hey, did you hear they made O Canada gender neutral?

What, you mean, like chicks can sing it now?

How's she look, boys?

How's she look, boys? How's she look, boys?

Get on and give 'er, bud!

[loud motor]

♪ ["Body Break" theme]

♪ Body Break ♪

So it looks like you're already covered

for your cast, your CT scan, and the new titanium leg.

The only remaining balance is $17.38 for the crutches.

$17?

Sorry, but I'll be speaking to my local MP about this!

Announcer: Understand the metric system half the time.

Welcome back to "Who Wants To Win A Million, Eh?"

Are you ready for your final question?

Yeah, let's give 'er.

For one million Canadian dollars...

Is it A, 40; B, 80; C, 65; D, 200?

Oh, I don't know.

I don't know kilograms.

Now remember, you can earn a bonus lifeline

by listening to one Nickelback song in its entirety.

[exhales] I think I'm going to walk.

Announcer: Never accept substitutes

for real maple syrup.

Whoa! You're not going to use that crap, are you?

Yeah.

Tastes nothing like the real thing.

Whatever, it's all the same.

Mr Russell, that's the third time this month.

I'm going to have to write you up for contraband.

Can't you just give me a warning?

Sorry.

20 hours of community curling?

That's like my whole weekend.

Announcer: And finally, know the difference

between a good and a bad poutine.

Little boy, what seems to be the matter?

My poutine.

Your poutine, what's wrong with your poutine?

The gravy wasn't hot enough to melt my cheese curds.

Oh, my God.

I swear on the ghost of John A. MacDonald

I swear on the ghost of John A. MacDonald I swear on the ghost of John A. MacDonald

that we are going to find out who did this to you

and when we do, we are going to file...

a formal complaint.

Announcer: What did we miss?

leave a comment in the comments section below, eh?

♪ [O Canada]