Wait a minute...

等一下下...

You guys aren't the real Avengers!

你們不是真的復仇者！

What the hell?

什麼鬼?

Parker, I thought I told you to stay home tonight.

帕克，我想我已經告訴過你今晚待在家裡

W-why are you guys robbing ATMs?

為...為什麼你們要洗劫ATM？

Avenging doesn't pay as well as we were led to believe, kid.

當復仇者並沒有我們想的賺錢 孩子

I've got gambling debts.

我有賭債在身

Well this is super awkward for me cos now I gotta arrest you guys!

這對我而言真是超級尷尬，因為現在我必須逮捕你們！

[LAUGHS]

(≖ ▽≖)σ....

I should not have laughed.

我不應該笑的

I realize that now.

我現在意識到了

Did Liz get a new top?

$媽泥$

Can't tell.

利茲有穿新的上衣(胸罩)嗎？

She's wearing a sweater over it.

難說

Should probably stop staring before it gets creepy though.

她穿了一件毛衣

Yeah.

該停止盯著看了 在這一切看起來很詭異以前

Too late.

沒錯

You guys are losers.

太遲了

Isn't that right, Mr Mugglestein?

你們真是魯蛇

"That's right, Michelle!

你說是吧？杯子先生

You're the coolest girl in sch--"

沒有錯！馬歇爾

[CRIES]

你是學校裡最酷的女......

At least I'm not a loser!

(QдQ)

One size fits all.

至少我不是魯蛇！

OH GOD!

一件全合適

TOO TIGHT! TOO TIGHT!

噢天！

[SCREAMS]

太緊了！太緊了！

So, to become an Avenger, are there, like, trials?

(x Д x)

There's *a* trial.

所以要成為一位復仇者 是有一個測驗嗎?

What does baking have to do with being an Avenger?

是有"一個"測驗

We already have people who can fight crime.

烹飪跟當復仇者有甚麼關聯 ?

What we don't have is a decent friggin' pastry chef!

我們已經有人可以打擊犯罪了

Peter!

我們沒有的是一個正經的糕點師傅！

You still with us?

彼得！

Sorry, I was just...

你還有認真在聽嗎？

watching "Captain America: Civil War" on my laptop.

抱歉，我只是...

Peter, you can't watch a movie that's set in a universe which you yourself occupy.

在我的筆電上看

That's called a "trailer paradox".

彼得，你不能看一部你就是其中一員的電影

Unlawful entry!

那叫"預告片悖論"

OH MY GOD!!!

非法侵入！

I'd have never come to this pool party if I knew at some point I'd get wet!

哦，我的天啊！！！

Dude, you just damaged 500 bucks' worth of Lego!

我絕對不會來這個泳池派對，如果我知道我會被弄濕

You're the Spider-Man.

老兄，你剛剛毀了一個 價值500美金的的樂高！

No, I'm not!

你是蜘蛛人

You were on the ceiling!

不，我不是！

Was I?

你剛剛在天花板上！

Or... was it you who was on the ceiling?

我是嘛？

And have been your whole life.

或者......你才是那個在天花板，一輩子的人?

You just blew my mind.

你剛剛讓我大腦爆炸了

Do you eat flies and small insects?

你吃蒼蠅和小昆蟲嗎？

No.

沒有

Step one of my fitness challenge:

我的體能挑戰步驟一

Inject yourself with a special super-soldier serum.

幫自己注射超級戰士血清

That's pretty much it.

差不多就這樣

Do you know him too?

你認識他嗎？

Stole his shield.

我偷了他的盾牌

Peter Parker, if you're watching this, can I please have my shield back?

彼得·帕克，如果你在看這個 我可以拿回我的盾牌了嗎？

He-he's obviously referring to a different Peter Parker.

他....他顯然是指 不同的彼得·帕克

Peter Parker from Queens?

來自皇后區的彼得·帕克

AKA The Spider-Ma--

又名蜘蛛ㄖㄣˊ

Hey, who threw that?

嘿，誰丟的？

Are you venomous?

你是有毒的？

I don't think so.

我不認為

The rich and the powerful, like Stark -

富有又強大的人，像史塔克

they don't care about us!

他們不關心我們！

Adrian?

阿德里安？

Your care package from the Tony Stark Cares Foundation just arrived.

從東尼·史塔克基金會寄給你的愛心包裹剛剛抵達

Put it with the others.

跟其他的放在一起

Forget the flying monster guy.

忘記那個飛行怪咖的事

There are people who handle this sort of thing.

有專門處理這類事情的人

Flying-Monster-Guy-Busters, for example.

例如，飛天怪物剋星

If you mated with Black Widow, would she eat you afterwards?

如果你跟黑寡婦約會 她會在那之後吃掉你嗎？

It'd be worth it.

那一定很值得

Wait for me!

等等我！

Almost missed the boat.

差點錯過了船

May I see your ticket?

我可以看看你的票嗎？

Thwipp it good!

綁好他！

Things are about to get "ferry" unstable!

事情即將變得“渡船”不穩定！(音似"非常")

Spider-Man!

蜘蛛人！

You gotta help me, please!

你得幫我，拜託了！

I'm a little busy at the moment...

我此刻有點忙......

Oh I see!

喔我懂了！

You get yourself a fancy new suit and now you think you're "all that"?

你有了一件花俏的新衣服 然後你認為這就是“所有”？

You superheroes are all the same!

你們超級英雄都是一樣的！

You all the damn same!

你們都該死的一樣！

Don't worry, ma'am.

別擔心，夫人

*I'll* save you.

"我"會救你

Unbelievable!

難以置信！

A woman was almost drenched.

一個女人幾乎濕透

I'm gonna need the suit back.

我需要你把蜘蛛裝還來

But I'm nothing without this suit!

但沒了這衣服我什麼都不是！

If you're nothing without this suit, then you shouldn't have it.

如果你沒有這個套裝就什麼都不是 那麼你不應該有它

Of all people, dude!

為了所有的人，老兄！

See how you like it!

看你這樣如何！

AAAARGH!!

AAAARGH！

I'm Stark naked!

我是裸體史塔克！

Don't mess with me.

不要惹我

I'm Batman.

我是蝙蝠俠

I mean Birdman.

我的意思是鳥人

I mean... The Vulture!

我的意思是......禿鷹！

Sorry.

抱歉

Played a lotta winged characters - sometimes I get a little...

演過太多翅膀的腳色 有時我變得有點...

Ruffled?

混亂？

Yeah.

是啊

Polly want a cracker?

你想要來點餅乾嗎？

Don't push me, kid.

別逼我，孩子

But yes.

但是，好

[BIRD-WHISTLES]

[鳥哨~]

I'll do anything to protect my family.

我會做任何事情來保護我的家人

Meet the newest member of the family, Spider-Man!

見到我家族的最新成員，蜘蛛人！

Takes after his Daddy!

就像他的爸爸！

My imaginary friend's up there!

我想像中的朋友在那上面！

Hey, where are you going? Come back!

嘿，你去哪兒？回來！

Things aren't so bad!

事情並沒有這麼糟！

OK, now they're bad.

好了，現在它很糟

Just... don't do anything in the air.

只是......不要做任何在空中的事情

That's my playground.

這是我的遊樂場

I know I say this every trip...

我知道我每次旅程都這樣說...

but this is the last time I fly economy.

但是這是我最後一次坐經濟

[COUGH] Sorry, sir.

[咳]對不起，先生

All we have left is the fish.

我們全部剩的只有魚

Well, what a surprise!

歐，還真是讓人驚喜啊

OK Peter.

OK彼得

You can do this.

你可以做得到的

It's all about confidence.

這全都是關於有信心

[DIALLING PHONE]

[撥打電話]

Hello?

你好？

H-Hi- Hi- Hey!

H-HI-HI-嘿！

Is that Natasha?

是娜塔莎？

Who is this?

這是誰？

I-It- it's me! Uh, S-- Peter Sparker!

I-IT-是我！呃，S--彼得電火花！

Sp- Speeder-Man! Spider Park--

SP-調速曼！蜘蛛Park--

Uh- Peter Parker!!

UH-彼得·帕克！

I don't recognise any of those names.

我不認得任何一個名字

W-we met last year at Leipzig airport?

這個嘛我們去年在萊比錫機場遇到？

The one in Germany

在德國的那個？

Mr Stark's friend from Queens.

史塔克先生的朋友來自皇后區

You know - Spider-Man!

你知道的 蜘蛛人！

The Big S&M!

大S＆M！

Oh god...

天啊...

Oh right. The web guy.

噢對。射網子的傢伙

Yeah!

是啊！

Well, I... do other things than just webs, but yeah!

好吧，我......還有做其他的事情 不僅僅是射網子，但是阿！

How did you get my number?

你怎麼得到我的電話號碼？

Uh, Mr Stark gave it to me.

呃，史塔克先生給我的

I'll have to remember to thank him for that.

我會記得要感謝他

So how can I help you, Pedro?

所以，我能幫你什麼，佩德羅？

Peter- uh Peter.

Peter-呃 彼得

Well look, here's the situation:

好吧聽著，情況是這樣：

I've got my school's Homecoming Dance coming up in a few weeks and...

我有我學校的返校日舞會 就在幾週後，然後...

I was kinda wondering if... you would...

我有點好奇如果...你能...

y'know, wanna... go with... come with...

你知道的，想......去......跟...

me... to... it.

我...到...它

You want me to be your date?

你要我做你的舞伴？

Well I mean think about it - we have so much in common!

嗯，我的意思是你想想嘛 我們有如此多的共同點！

Both superheroes, both with arachnid based code names, both fought for team Iron Man...

兩個都是超級英雄，都與蜘蛛代號的名稱 都是為了鋼鐵人隊戰鬥...

I know you ultimately betrayed us, but hey! What happens in Leipzig stays in Leipzig.

我知道你最後背叛了我們，可是 嘿！ 萊比錫發生的事就留在萊比錫

Plus, the theme is fancy dress, so we could wear our actual superhero suits

再加上主題是奇裝異服，所以我們可以 真的穿我們的超級英雄套裝

and no one would know!

沒有人會知道！

I can't wear my suit to a dance.

我沒辦法穿我的服裝跳舞

That thing does not breathe.

那東西不透氣

Every time I peel it off after a hard day's avenging

每次我把它剝開 辛苦了一天的復仇後

my whole body is glistening with sweat.

我整個身體被我的汗水弄得閃閃發光

[WEB SHOOTS] Huh--!

[射] 呃--！

Oh god...

天啊...

What was that?

那是什麼？

Uh, oh nothing...

呃，哦，沒什麼......

I just, uh... accidentally pressed the trigger on my web shooter - that's weird.

我只是，呃...不小心按下了 蜘蛛網射擊器的板機，這真奇怪

Also, Pierre, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I kind of have a boyfriend.

還有，皮埃爾，我不知道你有沒有 注意到這一點，但我算有男朋友了

It's a long-distance relationship at the moment but I want us to stay exclusive.

目前是一個遠距離戀愛 但我希望我們能夠各自獨立

Well... would he even have to find out? I mean...

嗯...他有可能會發現嗎？我的意思是...

from what Mr Stark tells me, he's somewhat unreachable?

從那個史塔克先生告訴我 他有點難以抵達？

Trust me.

相信我

You don't want to risk it.

你不會想冒這個險

He suffers from what some have described as a short temper.

他被一些形容他是脾氣暴躁的所困擾著

Well... can I at least bring a long a photo of you and tell people we're going out?

嗯......我可以至少帶著妳的照片 告訴大家，我們曾一起出去？

Look Pietrov, I'm gonna have to call you back.

聽著派卓，我必須要等會兒回你電話

I just got out of the shower and I'm all soapy and dripping.

我剛剛走出淋浴間 我現在滿身的泡沫跟水滴

[MULTIPLE WEB SHOOTS] Uhhh...!

[超多的射]唔......！

What's going on over there?

你那邊是怎麼回事？

Uhhh, nothing! I gotta go! [HANGS UP]

唔，沒事！我要走了！ [掛了]

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???

我到底是怎麼了？？？