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  • CollegeHumor ORIGINALS

    CollegeHumor 原創

  • SKETCH

    SKETCH

  • This is you.

    這是你

  • This is your girlfriend.

    這是你的女友

  • And these are,

    而這些是:

  • Your Girlfriend's Six Friends.

    你女友的六種朋友

  • The Possessive One

    佔有慾超強型

  • Nobody loves your girlfriend more than you.

    沒有人比你更愛你的女友

  • Almost.

    幾乎

  • (phone ringing)

    電話鈴聲

  • (Guy) Megan? No.

    不要接電話

  • Call her back.

    等下再回撥給她就好

  • She seems to have issues with boundaries.

    她似乎沒有「界線」的概念

  • Gah!

    天阿

  • You didn't answer your phone.

    你怎麼不接我電話

  • Except one, that is.

    除了在這個時候:

  • Sorry. Girl's night.

    抱歉啦,今晚是只有女生的夜晚

  • (laughing) C'mon girl!

    來吧親愛的!

  • Your boyfriend gets you all to himself.

    妳男友每次都只想到他

  • He's not even fun or rich or anything...

    他甚至還很無聊,也不有錢

  • - (Friend continues talking) - A man can only take so much.

    是個男人都不能忍

  • You're a crazy friendship pirate!

    你這個瘋狂朋友!

  • Too much?

    太超過了嗎?

  • The Gay BFF

    Gay 朋友型

  • You know he's gay but, c'mon.

    你知道他是同性戀,但是..

  • There's a lot of potential here.

    什麼事都可能發生

  • He acts like he knows everything.

    他一臉萬事通的樣子

  • Just because he's gay doesn't mean-

    只因為他是 gay 不代表--

  • Hey, these pants actually look pretty good!

    他推薦的褲子真的蠻帥的

  • You look so great!

    你看起來超帥的!

  • Honey! Look at you!

    寶貝,你真帥

  • Yeah, you like this guy.

    沒錯,你喜歡這個老兄

  • But not in a gay way...

    但不是 gay 的喜歡

  • The One You Have A Crush On

    你偷偷暗戀型

  • There's your girl.

    這是你的女孩

  • Your soulmate. The only woman you'll ever-

    你的靈魂伴侶,你唯一的女...

  • Honey! Have you met Amanda?

    寶貝,我有介紹給你 Amanda 嗎?

  • Aaahh...yaaah...ah, I mean, I mean...more words.

    阿阿..快說點話

  • Amanda, my friend Carla is here...

    Amanda , Carla 在那邊,我們去打招呼!

  • Why can't your girlfriend have uglier friends?

    你女友為什麼不能有個醜的朋友就好?

  • And then she said,

    然後她說

  • you're the bitch!

    你才是婊子

  • What?? (laughs)

    什麼??

  • (man giggles)

    男人痴笑

  • Do you have a crush on Amanda?

    你暗戀 Amanda 嗎?

  • OK, think Kennedy, Clinton.

    好,想想甘迺迪或柯林頓

  • That other, less popular candidate.

    或其他比較不熱門的候選人

  • ♪ (Hail to the Chief) ♪

    音樂

  • I believe that both my girlfriend and her friend

    我認為我的女友和她朋友

  • are equally hot.

    擁有相等的辣度

  • - (applause) - There is nothing wrong with that.

    這沒有錯

  • (louder applause)

    掌聲

  • What? No...

    什麼?才沒有!

  • She's attractive. In a slutty way!

    她很吸引人,但是太放蕩了!

  • Not in a slutty way...

    不是放蕩啊..

  • I love you!

    我愛你

  • I wish you were friends with more homeless people.

    我希望你多跟街友當朋友

  • The Guy Friend

    真男人型

  • According to her,

    根據她的說法

  • they've been BFFs forevsies.

    他們一直是最好的朋友

  • (unintelligible yelling)

    興奮地吼叫

  • The inside jokes don't help.

    那個笑話也沒有幫助

  • Oh my god!

    我的天啊

  • This whole friendship thing drives you crazy.

    這整個友情讓你嫉妒得發狂

  • You feel like the guy from A Beautiful Mind.

    你感覺像美麗境界的男主角 (患有思覺失調症)

  • Maybe this is OK.

    也許沒事

  • There are different types of love, right?

    世上有很多種愛啊

  • Sure, they're friends,

    他們當然是朋友

  • but they'll never have the raw physical attraction that you two-

    但他們永遠不會有那種原始的生理吸引力,像你跟她一樣

  • - OK, that's enough. - That's enough!!

    - 這樣有點太超過了 - 這太超過了!

  • The Attention Hog

    喜歡注目型

  • - She'll do anything for attention. - (Girl in back) Hey guys! Heeey!

    - 為了引起注意,她願意做任何事 - 嘿大家,快看我!

  • You guys think there's needles in here?

    你覺得這裡面會有針嗎?

  • You think she enjoys breakups more than actual relationships.

    你覺得跟戀愛比起來,她其實更享受分手

  • Mark broke up with me!

    馬克跟我分手了!

  • Peter won't call me back!!

    彼得不回我電話!

  • Obama won't write me back!!

    歐巴馬不回信給我!

  • I will never be as happy as you guys.

    我永遠都得不到幸福

  • (stomach rumble) Excuse me.

    不好意思

  • She has a compulsive need to share her every thought and emotion.

    她有種強迫症要分享她每一個想法和情緒

  • I just took the most humungoid crap.

    我剛剛拉了一坨超大的屎

  • It's possible you can use this.

    你可以試試看這個:

  • Are you on Twitter?

    你有 Twitter 帳號嗎?

  • No...

    沒有

  • I gotta show you this, you're gonna love this.

    你一定要試試看,你一定會喜歡的

  • - So, you just type in... - OK...

    - 你只要打字 .. - 嗯哼

  • (Friend) Guys, guys!

    各位!

  • I got five favorites on my garbage tweet!!

    我的垃圾袋 tweet 有五人喜歡!

  • You

    你 型

  • You love your girlfriend.

    你愛你的女友

  • Not just because she's smart, and funny,

    不只是因為她聰明、有趣

  • and because she knows what a beaglepuss is,

    知道什麼是搞笑眼鏡

  • but because she's your friend.

    而是因為她也是你的朋友

  • And like any good friend,

    就像其他你最好的朋友

  • you'd do anything for her.

    你願意為她做任何事

  • Including putting up with all her other friends.

    包括接受她的朋友們

  • After all, she puts up with yours.

    畢竟她也願意接受你的朋友

  • Hey man, think I could get a ride home?

    嘿,你可以送我回家嗎?

  • I just shit my pants...

    我剛剛挫屎在褲子上了

CollegeHumor ORIGINALS

CollegeHumor 原創

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