This game--

這遊戲...

AHHHHHH!

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

WHAT ARE THESE GRAPHICS?

這是三小畫質啦！

SHIELD ME, JUST DON'T MAKE ME LOOK AT THIS SHI-

救命！別讓我看這種狗屎畫質！

Okay...

這是我遇到目前最恐怖的環節了

That's looking better now...

好的...

Guys, got anything to eat in here?

現在看起來好多了

I'm getting hungry.

各位，你們這邊有沒有吃的啊？

I'm thinking about making some, uh...

我有點餓了

Spaghetti and meat--

我想做點，呃，義大利麵和肉球....

What?

什麼

Look!

你看！

They got spaghetti!

他們有義大利麵耶！

What?

你在微波爐裡煮什...什麼?!

This ain't scary, man...

沒人要吃這隻烏鴉嗎？

This is some baby ass shit, man...

這裡一點也不可怕，老兄...

This ain't scary...

這些都太小兒科了，一點也不可怕

*snap*

這真的太他媽...

I'm gonna get killed by a zombie.

(咯) 這真的太他媽...

This is the scariest game in the worl--

喔我的老天爺，你們有聽到嗎？

Fuck you!

我就要被一隻殭屍幹掉了

Come on!

這就是世界上最恐怖的遊戲

Is he wearing a fuckin' bulletproof vest?

幹你娘！

No, don't-- don't you fucking put me up here.

不是吧！

Put me back!

這把槍也太廢了

Thank you.

你他媽的是穿著防彈背心逆？

Now...

靠北

I'm gonna run you over with a car.

別他媽...不 - 不要把我舉起來

Heheheheheh...

把我放下來

You should have never...

謝啦

I told you NEVER to fuck with me.

然後，我要開車閃人啦！

And NOW...

嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿

I'mma f--

你永遠都不該...

Fuck.

我說過你最好永遠都不要惹我

"I told you...don't you fuck with me!"

而現在，我要...

There it is, car key!

(你需要鑰匙)

Yes!

幹 (你需要鑰匙)

"Nice car!"

"我就說吧，勸你最好別惹我"

"Hehehe...mind if I take it for a spin?"

才怪

Oh well...you won't be able to get in.

是我對你說的

I locked the door, so...

我找到車鑰匙了，太好了！

At least he doesn't have the car keys.

"這車子不錯哦"

Can't start the car without the car ke--

謝謝 "這車子不錯哦"

"You better start running, boy!"

"介意我開出去兜個風嗎？"

Fuck this game, man!

喔呃，你可能沒辦法這麼做

[laughing] Turn this off!

我已經把車門鎖起來了，所以...

Fuck you, man!

至少他沒有車鑰匙，沒辦法發車

"Whoohooo!"

"你最好開始逃跑囉，小子"

Piece of shit game!

幹你這糞game

[laughing]

快停車！

Whoah whoah whoah whoah!

老天...噢！

No no no no no, whoah whoah whoah!

去你的！

No no no!

"嗚~~~呼~~~！" 去你的！

[laughing]

根本糞game！

God damn it!

哇哇哇哇哇！

When you get to the part of the game, with the buzzsaw...

別別別別別，哦哦哦哦哦！

...do NOT turn that on, okay?

不要不要不要不要

I'm gonna grab this item.

(你已經死了) 天殺的！

Cause' it might come in HANDY later!

如果你玩到圓鋸這一段的話

[laughing] If--

千萬不要把鋸子打開，好嗎！

If you see what I-- [laughing]

我要把這個撿起來

FUCK YOU, DICKFUCK!

說不定它之後能「方便」(Handy)到我

[laughing]

如果你看到...哈哈哈

Gotcha!

去你的，機掰人！

Eyy-- Aw, that was an accident.

抓到你囉

Fuck!

哦，我真是不小心

Shit, die!

幹！

Do not accept the quest from the magic gerbil.

狗屎，去死吧！

When you get to that part of the game, okay?

如果你玩到這段的話 千萬不要去接Magic Gerbal任務，好嗎

Whoo, doggy!

嗚！爽啦！

That is a dead boy, I'll tell you what.

我告訴你，他已經被燒死了，哈哈

I don't care who you are, you dead, you de--

不管你是什麼玩意，這下你總該死了...

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?

你他媽的在跟我開什麼國際玩笑？他還活著?!

HE'S STILL ALIVE?!

太誇張啦，老兄！

COME THE FUCK ON, MAN!

離我遠點！

GET OUTTA HE--

太豪洨啦！

This is bullshit!

耶！

Yeah!

耶！

Yeah!

幹翻他！

Fuckin' blow him up!

好，不管你是什麼玩意...

Now, I don't care who you are...

他絕對百分之百死透了

He is a hundred percent dead right there.

你不會再爬起來了，抱歉

You do not come back from that, I'm sorry.

你就是...

You just do n--

殺小啦！

WHAT THE FUCK!?

你怎麼還活著?!

HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE?!

幹！

"Fuck!"

好了

Okay.

他絕對百分之百死透了

Now he's a hundred percent dead.

他不會再爬起來了

He can never come back from that.

花惹發

WHAT THE FUCK.

真的假的

COME ON NOW

他不可能還活著啊

WH-- HE CAN'T BE ALIVE!

如果你玩到這一段的話...

When you get to this part of the game...

把遊戲關掉就對了

Just turn the game off.

在新的房子裡，你不會真的看到這種東西

You don't really see this in newer houses, but..

但在過去，他們會有一間房間專門擺放黑焦油...在浴缸裡

Back in the day, they would have a room where they collected...

用來做...

...black tar.

(砰)

In the bathtubs!

是你嗎，噗咕？

To make ap--

說不定我把手舉起來，像這樣...

*SLAM*

"那邊沒有出口，你知道的"

Is that you, Baghoul?

他就看不見我

Maybe if I put my hands up, like this...

懂我的意思嗎？

"There's no way out, you know!"

我在舉手時就是隱形的

He won't be able to see me.

"我看見你囉~~~"

You see what I'm saying?

不可能，不 - 你他媽的作弊

I'm invisible if I do this.

這遊戲根本就做壞了

"I seeee youuuuu!"

不好意思...

IMPOSSIBLE.

我可以進去嗎？

IMPOSS- HE'S FUCKING CHEATING.

"他媽的給我..."

This game is broken.

"滾！"

Excuse me.

他的意思是「可以」對吧？

Can I come in here?

叩、叩、叩

"STAY THE FUCK"

槍都怎麼稱呼笨女人的？

"OUT"

死亡

Is that a yes?

好吧，可惡...

["Snake Eater" - Cynthia Harrell]

這樣不是很好玩

Knock, knock.

好吧，惡靈古堡

What did gun say to dumb bitch?

我有6發子彈...

Die.

很好

[Marguerite laughs uncontrollably]

但我得花50發子彈

[dunkey laughs nervously]

才能幹掉1個敵人

[Marguerite continues laughing]

然後你弄了兩個敵人給我

Okay, damn.

這就是...這根本沒道理啊！

It was not that funny.

這把槍真他媽的爛得有剩

Okay, Resident Evil.

很好

Six bullets...

啊，很好...你就快把我幹掉了

Okay.

因為我的槍根本沒用啊！

It takes FIFTY bullets...

你看他，他根本打不死

To take down ONE guy.

"別浪費子彈了，小子"

And you brought two guys at me.

(浪費子彈7) 這句話應該要放在遊戲標題的！

That's how--that's, that makes sense.

哦，這是什麼電影？

Fucking piece of shit gun sucks fucking dick.

"廢棄房屋照片集"

Good.

哦，我已經拿到藍光版了(就是RE7本體)

Ah, good, just...kill my guy.

電鋸！

Because my gun doesn't work!

嘿！

Look at this, he doesn't die!

去你的，你他媽吃我子彈吧

"Waste of bullets, boy."

可以給我那把電鋸嗎？

That should be the title of the game!

什麼？

Oh, what movie is this?

他還真的要給我喔

"Derelict House Footage".

你這人真貼心，老兄

Aw, I-- I got that on BluRay already.

謝謝，真的

Chainsaw!

謝謝你...

Hey!

去你的，你這坨雞巴狗屎

Fuck...

幹去死吧！

Fuck this gun, man.

喔...靠...

Can you give me that chainsaw?

天殺的

What?

他死了

He's actually giving it?

你認真？

That is so considerate of you, man.

你都只剩腿了！

Thank you, for real.

怎麼可能還活著啦！

Thank you, fo--

沒有，好吧...

FUCK YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

很好

FUCKING DIE!

"幫我個忙，別再爬起來了"

Ohhh, sh...

沒錯

God damn!

如果他...他又復活的話

He is dead.

幹你糞game

ARE YOU SERIOUS!?

因為我從來沒見...

IT'S

(然後他又回來了)

JUST

你他媽的是在開玩笑逆？

LEGS!

不

HOW IS HE STILL ALIVE?

不不不不不

No...okay.

我跟他們說過別打電話過來的

Okay.

不...

"Do me a favor, and stay dead."

"歡迎使用Xbox客服中心"

Yeah.

"(西班牙語) 轉接客服，請按..."

Now if he-- If he comes back from this...

Fuck this game.

Cause, I-- I'm never gon-

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

*phone ringing*

No.

No, no no no no...

*phone ringing*

I told them never to call here.

No...

*Xbox startup sound*

"Welcome to Xbox Customer Support."

"(in spanish) To reach support, press--"