In history

那就是

pooped.

大家都會便便

In ancient times, the Romans built public underground sewer systems, which not only

古時候，羅馬人興建了公共地下水道系統，

carried waste, but also drinking water,

不但運送排泄物，也運送飲水，

so it paid to be up stream.

所以必須位在上游

The romans used large, divider-free public restrooms - some with up to 50 toilets.

羅馬人會使用很大的無隔間公共廁所，有些還有多達５０個馬桶

Many people read prayers and protection spells to keep them safe from demons, rats biting their bums,

因此很多人會祈禱還有唸咒語以保護自己，阻擋惡魔及老鼠肆虐，

or open flames that could flare up from methane pockets.

或是因沼氣而引發的惡火

In the middle ages, where you pooped largely depended on your class.

在中世紀，你上廁所的地方會根據你的地位階級而定

Lower class people pooped in chamber pots - aka jerry, guzunder, a po, thunder pot… If you were really poor,

低下階層的人上在便壺裡，也可以說尿壺、瓷尿壺、便盆、尿桶，如果你真的很窮困，

a bucket.

那就是桶子

In medieval London it was illegal to empty these out the window (not that stopped many people).

在中世紀的倫敦，把排泄物倒出窗外是違法的 (但還是有很多人那樣做)

Most people carried their full chamber pots to a nearby stream or river

大部分人都會帶著他們的便壺到臨近的水道或河流

and emptied it there.

清空便壺

Larger houses had attached latrines which drained into cess-pits which were emptied

較大的房子會有廁所，水溝通往糞坑

by men called “gongfermours” or “gong farmers.” who would then carry the waste

清糞坑的人稱作「gongfermours」或是「gong farmers」(清道夫)，他們會帶著排泄物

to the streams and rivers. The Gong Farmers of London would end their shift bathing in

到水道和河流，倫敦的清道夫結束工作後會到太晤士河洗澡

the River Thames, which was probably only slightly cleaner than themselves - at least

因為那可能是唯一一條比他們還要稍微乾淨的河了

they were well-paid.

至少他們薪水還不錯

For the top of the Pooping-ladder, Castles featured rooms called Garderobes, which had

至於最高階級的廁所，在城堡中還有一間房間稱為 Garderobes

literally a seat with a hole to the outside cut into it. Poop would drop right into the

就是有一個通往外頭的洞口的座位，便便會落到城堡的護城河裡

castle moat. When the tide was low, it would pile up above the water until it was flushed

當潮水較低時，排泄物還會堆到水面上，

away into the river.

直到沖到河水裡

Which was also drinking water.

也就是飲用水

The word garderobe is french for Wardrobe. People would hang their clothes in these rooms,

garderobe就是法文的 Wardrobe (衣櫥)，人們會將衣服掛在裡面

as the fleas and moths didn’t like the smell.

因為跳蚤和蛀蟲不喜歡這味道

There was a position called “The Groom of the King’s Stool,” whose job was to wipe the

還有一種工作稱為「國王廁所的男仆」，他的工作就是當國王大號完

king’s bum when he was finished pooping. Naturally, this was a job of honor and only

幫國王擦屁股，這工作理當是種榮譽，

princes or boys of royalty were allowed to do it.

而且只有王子或是忠誠的侍者才准許從事這個工作

With all this poop being thrown around, you can imagine the smell literally everywhere.

當全部的便便都丟到外面，你應該可以想像到處都是臭味

If you can't, think about this, Archaeologists have found medieval poop and it still stinks

如果無法想像，那就想想這個，考古學家曾經找到中古世紀的便便，至今還很臭

to this day. This past year they even found several 700 year old barrels unearthed in

過去這幾年他們在丹麥的維爾納廣場還發現了 700 多年前洞裡的的舊木桶

Denmark in the Werner's Square. Boy, do we stink Brandon.

天啊，真的臭到不行

Finally, in 1596, a man named John Harrington, who was actually an English poet, invented

終於，在 1596年，一位英國詩人名叫 John Harrington，

a flushing toilet for Queen Elizabeth the first. But it was so loud it scared her from

首先為伊麗莎白女王發明了沖水馬桶，但馬桶的聲音實在大到女王不敢用

using it. It did, however, become popular to call this new invention after it's creator,

但是大家開始流行以發明者的名字來稱呼這個馬桶

John.

叫做 John

By the 1850s over 400,000 tonnes of sewage were flushed into the River Thames each day

到 1850年代為止，每天超過 40萬噸的汙水被排到泰晤士河裡

- around 150 million tonnes of poo a year.

一年大約有 1.5億噸便便排到河裡

Eventually, in the 1880's, a man came along who invented the ballcock and many other patents,

最後在 1880年代，一位發明浮球閥及擁有很多其他專利的人前來

which helped silence the scary flushing toilet, leading to its widespread adoption… his

把可怕的沖水馬桶改良成靜音，受到了廣泛的採納

name?

他的名字是？

Thomas Crapper.

Thomas Crapper

FUN FACT:

有趣的是：

The US Navy has developed a way to vaporize poop on their vessels. The technology has been

美國的海軍在他們的船艦上研發了蒸發大便的方法，這項科技也被裝在

installed on their newest aircraft carrier, the Gerald Ford Aircarft Carrier, because he

他們最新的飛行器上－福特級核動力航空母艦

was a real stinky President.

因為那上面有超臭的總統