(horse neighing)

(馬嘶嘶聲)

What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman,

大家好嗎？我是Superwoman

and a lot of people ask me

一堆人問我

if I've ever suffered any extreme cases

有沒有碰過一些極端的種族歧視案例

of racism and to be honest, no.

老實告訴你們：沒有

I'm fortunate enough to say that I haven't,

我夠幸運才能說我沒碰過

but since moving to LA I have definitely

但自從我搬到洛杉磯

had some people say some ridiculous things to me.

的確有人對我說過很荒謬的話

But here's the thing, I find it F-in hilarious.

但事情是這樣的，這TMD一點都不好笑

Here are real things that white people have said to me.

以下是一些白人曾經對我說過的實例

My dad's name is Sukhwinder.

我爸叫蘇文德

- Sukwinder?

傻彎德？

Sukwander?

傻王德？

I'll just call your dad Sam.

我還是叫你爸山姆好了

- Oh my God you're Indian.

天啊你是印度人

I loved Slumdog Millionaire.

我很愛看貧民百萬富翁

- So your last name's Singh,

你姓辛格

are you related to Ranveer Singh?

你和蘭威爾·辛格是親戚嗎？

- You know, one of my co-workers is Indian.

你知道，我有一個同事是印度人

What a small world.

世界真小！

- So I went to like an Indian wedding once,

我參加過一次印度婚禮

and I wore the full costume and everything.

我穿了全套服裝

- Your parents must be really strict.

你爸媽一定很嚴

- Did they expect you to get married at 23?

他們會期望你23歲結婚嗎？

- I even belly danced to Bollywood music

我甚至會跟著寶萊塢音樂跳肚皮舞

and I wore that little dot on my forehead.

我還在額頭戴了那個小點

- So why aren't you a doctor or a lawyer?

你怎麼不是醫生或律師？

- Are you allowed to have a boyfriend?

你可以交男朋友嗎？

- I went to Little India once

我去過小印度(餐廳)一次

and I got the best tandoori chicken.

吃到最好吃的坦都烤雞

- Do you speak Indian at home?

你在家講印度語嗎？

- Are you a very strict Hindi?

你是很純的印度人嗎？

- So is your real name Lilly?

你的真名是莉莉嗎？

Stop lying, I've never met a real Indian Lilly.

騙肖，我從來沒遇過叫莉莉的印度人

- Do you know Priyanka Chopra?

你認識琵豔卡·喬普拉嗎？

She's Indian too, right?

她也是印度人，沒錯吧？

- It's so terrible everything you see in movies about India.

你在電影裡看到有關印度的那些，太可怕了

- You probably want something spicy, right?

你是不是想點辣的？

- You know who you look like?

你知道你長得像誰嗎？

Mindy Kaling.

敏迪・卡靈

- You look so exotic.

你長得好像外國人

I thought you were from Brazil or something.

我以為你是巴西還是哪裡人

- You know I've always wanted to visit Dehli.

你知道我一直很想去德里玩

- My friend went to India last year, it changed his life.

我朋友去年去印度，他的人生從此不一樣

- So where are your parents from?

你爸媽從哪裡來？

- They're from Punjab.

他們從旁遮普來

- Oh, that's in the Middle East, right?

喔，在中東啊，對吧？

- I will take the veggie burger, please.

我要點蔬菜堡，謝謝

- Is that because you're Islam?

是不是因為你是回教徒？

- Do you have to get an arranged marriage?

你是不是得接受安排婚姻？

- Did you experience a lot of racism growing up?

你在成長過程中有遇過很多種族歧視嗎？

- So you're not allowed to have sex before marriage, right?

你不能有婚前性行為，對不對？

That's crazy.

太狂了

- Here's the thing though, right, I don't believe

事情是這樣的，沒錯，我不相信

that every person who says something ignorant

說這些無腦話的人

is trying to offend me.

都想要冒犯我

I think they don't know any better

我想他們是不懂

and no one has schooled them.

而且沒有人教過他們

So this is my attempt to make you understand.

所以我想試著讓你們了解

Here's what the reverse would sound like,

底下是如果我照白人對我說話的方式回敬

if I spoke to white people how they spoke to me.

聽起來會怎麼樣

- Yeah, my dad's name is Peter.

對啊，我爸叫彼得

- Pa-tah?

痞達？

Pa-tad?

痞大？

I'll just call him Brubjub.

我還是叫他布拉好了

Wait, are you white?

等等，你是白人？

Oh my God, I love Taylor Swift!

我的天，我超愛泰勒絲！

♫ Shake it off, shake it off

都甩掉，都甩掉

- Wait, Smith, are you related to Derek Smith?

等等，史密斯，你和德瑞克·史密斯是親戚嗎？

He's also from America.

他也是美國人

Oh my God, the girl who served me a latte

我的天，今天早上在星巴克幫我送拿鐵的

at Starbucks this morning was also white,

那個女生也是白人耶

so I totally get you.

所以我完全懂你

I went to a white wedding once, beautiful,

我曾經去過一次白人婚禮，很美

but it was so short, and your families are so tiny.

但是太短了，你們的家族都好小

You probably tell your mom to shut up all the time.

你大概老是得叫你媽閉嘴

I even did the chicken dance

我甚至跳了雞舞

and wore a tie around my forehead, it was so cultured.

還在額頭綁了一條領帶，好有文化感！

Wait, so you're not a country singer?

等等，所以你不是鄉村歌手喔？

Are you allowed to be a virgin?

你可以當處女嗎？

I went to Burger King once, and I loved it!

我去過漢堡王一次，我愛死了！

Wait so do you speak fluent American at home, or British?

等等，你在家是講流利的美式還是英式英語？

Or Scottish?

還是蘇格蘭語？

Irish.

愛爾蘭語

Are you a strict English?

你是純英國人嗎？

So is your real name Sarah?

你的真名叫莎拉嗎？

- Yeah.

對呀

- Oh my God, I know like nine white Sarahs.

我的天，我認識九個叫莎拉的白人

Do you know Ellen?

你認識艾倫嗎？

She's also white.

她也是白人

Love her.

超愛她

(sighs)

(嘆氣)

It's so terrible everything you see

你在歷史課本裡看到有關白人的那些

in history books about white people.

太可怕了

You probably want something with no flavor, right?

你是不是想吃原味的？

You look exactly like Jimmy Fallon.

你長得跟吉米・法隆幾乎一樣

Yeah, like the features, everything.

對，像是這些特徵，全部都是

Wow.

哇嗚

You look so...

你長得好...

common.

普通

I've always wanted to visit Utah, so cool.

我一直很想去猶他州看看，覺得很酷

My friend went to Ohio last year,

我朋友去年去俄亥俄州

and he said his life was exactly the same.

他說他的生活完全沒變

And you're from Chicago, right?

你從芝加哥來的，對吧？

- Mhm.

嗯哼

- That's in Europe, right?

在歐洲，對吧？

- I'll take the steak and potatoes.

我要點牛排和馬鈴薯

- Is that because your Christianity?

是不是因為你是基督徒？

So will your parents force you to fall in love,

你爸媽會逼你談戀愛

or are you allowed to get arranged?

還是你可以被安排婚姻？

So do you have a super hard time recognizing your privilege,

你要認清自己的特權會很難嗎？

or are you aware of it now?

還是你已經弄清楚了？

- Oh I don't have any privilege.

噢我沒有特權啊

- Okay, so you're not.

好吧，你不懂

Is it hard to have so many options

你買粉底的時候

when you're shopping for foundation?

有那麼多種選擇是不是很困難？

Crap, they don't have any egg nog on the menu.

爛欸，菜單上完全沒有蛋酒

Do you drink anything else?

你喝別的飲料嗎？

Look at your hair, can I touch it?

看你的頭髮，我可以摸嗎？

Do you mind?

你介意嗎？

Wow, that is so soft, is that natural?

哇，摸起來好軟，這是自然的嗎？

- Yeah.

對...

- It's beautiful, look at his hair, look at it.

太美了，看他的頭髮，看看它

Yeah, touch it.

對，摸摸看

So what's the religious symbolism of the hat?

所以這頂帽子的宗教符號是什麼？

Wait, so let me get this straight,

等等，讓我搞清楚

you actually turn red in the sun, like you change color?

你曬太陽真的會變紅，像是變色那樣？

That's crazy.

太狂啦

I watched a documentary about your people,

我看了一部你們的紀錄片

called Supersize Me, so sad.

叫麥胖報告，太感傷了

So did they like expect you to be pregnant by sixteen?

他們會期望你16歲前懷孕嗎？

And there you have it, it's not meant to be

你們看吧，這部影片並不是要

offensive or anything it just...

冒犯還是怎樣，只是...

- Wait, wait, wait.

等一下

Aren't you actually related to someone named Runveer?

你真的沒有叫蘭威爾的親戚嗎？

- Okay but that doesn't... - And didn't your

好那不是... 你爸媽

parents actually want you to get married

真的沒有要你在很年輕的時候

at a really young age?

就結婚嗎？

- Shouldn't y'all be doing the YMCA or something?

你們不是應該去跳YMCA還是什麼的嗎？

Get the F out of here, get out my frame, get out.

給我滾，滾出我的螢幕，走開

It's all about one love, thanks for watching!

唯一的愛，謝謝收看！

We're all friends, this wasn't meant to offend anyone

我們都是好朋友，這沒有要冒犯任何人的意思

just a lighthearted video.

只是個輕鬆的影片

If you enjoyed it give it a big thumbs up

如果你們喜歡就按個讚吧

and check out my last video right over there.

點這裡看我最新的影片

Bloopers for this video are right over there.

這裡有NG片段

Make sure you subscribe

一定要訂閱

because I make new videos every Monday and Thursday.

因為我每周一和周四會拍新影片

One love, Superwoman that is a wrap and...

唯一的愛，Superwoman，收工啦再...

♫ YMCA

YMCA

- She tricked us.

她耍我們