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People are always curious when they run into me when I'm out in the world and
they ask me questions.
And they always ask me if it's hard to stay focused when I'm doing this show,
when I'm talking to guests?
And it's sometimes, I'm tired so yeah sometimes, but
not really because I'm less with that talent of staying focused.
Not everybody has that talent but I have- >> [LAUGH]
>> Razor sharp focus, which remains me,
I need to buy razor blades.
I'm so glad I mention that.
>> [LAUGH] >> You know what else I need?
Is apples.
I need apples.
>> [LAUGH] >> And bread, and corn.
I love corn.
Do you like corn?
>> Yeah. >> [APPLAUSE]
>> I love corn.
Every type of corn, it doesn't matter.
I love corn on the cob, cream corn, can corn, I like popcorn.
I don't like when it gets in your teeth, popcorn gets in your teeth sometimes, and
like two days later, you're like, I had popcorn two days ago.
>> [LAUGH] >> I don't like when you microwave it and
it burns and you smell it in the house and it reminds you like, you're a bad cook.
I know that, yeah I don't need being reminded.
>> [LAUGH] >> By you the microwave or
the smoke detector.
Which you know what, I need batteries for my smoke detector.
>> [LAUGH] >> I just remembered,
because it just went off like 3 am.
It never goes off in the middle of the day.
It's always like 3 am.
>> [LAUGH].
>> And then you're wandering around the house going which room is it in?
Because it's dark and you don't want to turn lights on to wake up, so
you're just kind of trying to feel out which room it's in.
They should have a little voice that says living room, living room, living room, so
you know.
Why is it called a living room by the way, that's so weird.
I can understand bedrooms, bedrooms have beds in it, bathrooms have baths,
dining rooms have you know dining tables.
But a living room you don't just live in a living room, you know.
You know. >> [LAUGH]
>> Unless you live in a studio apartment.
Which is a weird name because.
>> [LAUGH] >> Studio
apartment sounds like you're recording an album.
>> [LAUGH] >> Or shooting a movie but you're not,
you're just sleeping next to the kitchen is what you're doing, you know?
>> [LAUGH] >> And
that phrase if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
That doesn't apply here cuz you're next to the kitchen.
>> [LAUGH] >> And you're, I can't.
I'm sleeping here, you know?
>> [LAUGH] >> Or
that the saying a picture is worth 1,000 words.
Which is true unless the picture's out of focus and then it's worth zero words.
>> [LAUGH] [APPLAUSE]
>> I forgot what I was talking about,
but anyway, let's just dance.
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艾倫秀 (Ellen Stays Focused)

933 分類 收藏
陳廷國 發佈於 2017 年 7 月 19 日

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