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You may be doing some pretty little things that can have a big negative effect
on what people think about you. So in this video,
we're going to cover nine of the most common mistakes
you may be making that can kill your charisma and some quick fixes. Here we go.
First — not proactively introducing yourself.
Many people feel uncomfortable when they enter into a new group
so in order to keep a low profile, they often offer a small hand wave
or just stand there quietly — this is uncomfortable for everyone involved.
So the next time that you find yourself entering or being pulled into a small group,
make sure to make eye contact and introduce yourself to everyone there with the handshake.
If they're particularly involved in the conversation, you can simply say,
"I don't mean to interrupt but just wanted to introduce myself," which brings me to number two —
not introducing your friends when you're in a new group isn't cool.
A simple, "Hey, this is my friend, Dave," goes a long way
towards making everyone else feel more comfortable.
Third is talking about things that no one cares about.
It's fine to mention that you had a weird dream
but as soon as you find yourself telling a three-minute story about it,
you're probably boring people — the same goes for long speeches
about anything that really only concerns you. Like the quality of your tan,
your car problems or what you had for dinner last night.
And if you're unsure whether something only concerns you,
it's probably because you're committing the fourth mistake — not soliciting feedback.
You don't want to go on for minutes on end lecturing.
There should be opportunities for people to ask questions if they're truly engaged.
If they're only nodding or giving responses like, "Wow" or "jeez," then they may be uninterested.
You might want to try pausing mid-story to ask the other person a question
just to see if they ask you how that story ended
or to find out that they were tuning you out the whole time.
Fifth is trailing off or mumbling.
While you can pause mid story, you don't want to trail off mid-sentence
because it makes you sound like you don't really respect whatever you're talking about.
You see? No matter whether you're introducing yourself, telling a story
or saying, "Thank you," to someone who held the door for you, do it in a full and clear voice.
Sixth is answering questions with single words.
If you find yourself consistently experiencing awkward silences,
chances are that you're putting yourself in those situations with short answers.
If you give longer two to three sentence responses to those small talk questions,
you're not necessarily over-sharing — you're giving the other person stuff to continue
talking about, which is usually very appreciated.
Also, when you ask questions, try to make the ones that can't simply
be answered in a single word or at least follow up with questions that can't be.
Seventh — whining. Complaining is just flat-out a bad habit.
And when you whine to people around you without seeking their advice
or looking to improve the situation, you just drive them away from you.
Eighth is not remembering names.
Everyone has a hard time with names so saying that you're not good with names
or not a name person is no excuse to not make an effort.
If you typically have a hard time which most people do,
you can repeat the person's name when you hear it,
again in conversation, and then finally, when saying goodbye to them.
Forcing yourself to say someone's name and then recall it twice in a short timespan
makes it much more likely to stick.
Ninth is lacking principles. We all experience massive social and psychological pressure to fit in
so many of us hide the things that we believe or the things that make us weird.
And while this might keep us out of trouble, it usually just makes you totally forgettable.
It's the people who have convictions and live by them that generate the most respect and are the most charismatic.
It doesn't mean that you have to shove your beliefs down other people's throats
but don't be afraid to get clear on your principles and stand up for them
even when it's not the popular thing to do.
There you have it — the nine most common mistakes that people make with their charisma.
If you like this video, I have a special request today —
I'd like you to click the button and subscribe to Zeino's channel.
Zeino animated this video — he reached out to me
and offered to do it totally for free despite the fact that it took them hundreds of hours
and his dream was that the exposure would help him hit 5,000 subscribers on his channel.
So, if you would be so kind, please click the button,
give him some love, and check out his other animations.
I know that if he does hit that 5,000 number, he will be over the moon.
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毀了你魅力的 9 個錯誤 (9 Mistakes That Kill Your Charisma)

63488 分類 收藏
luca3466 發佈於 2017 年 10 月 17 日   gahui yu 翻譯   吳昀儒 審核

影片簡介

小 V 選的這個影片實在是實用破表,人際互動必備!除了外表上的魅力之外,自信真的會影響一個人很多。這部影片教你的不是什麼化妝或穿搭技巧,而是更難的人際互動技巧。想要增加魅力,快來學習這九個實用撇步。

1charisma0:11
聽起來像是人名還是什麼寶石的這個字,可是個很棒的東西呢!這個字很難以中文精確定義,大致可以想成「魅力 + 領袖氣質 + 吸引力」。
Charisma is an essential trait that a leader must have.
領袖氣質是領導人必備的特點。


這個字的形容詞型態則是 charismatic,形容一個人具有 charisma
The new charismatic prime minister immediately won the whole nation's heart after she took office.
充滿個人魅力的新首相,剛上任就贏得整個國家人民的心。


2tune out1:39
這個字的意思是指「不理會、不理不睬」的意思。通常用法為 tune + 某人/某物 + out
The sad widow tuned everything out after her husband died in an accident.
那個傷心的寡婦在她丈夫死於意外後對一切事物都不理不睬。


此外,tune 搭配不同的介係詞就會有不同的意思。例如 tune up 指的是對樂器進行「調音」。
The sound of orchestra tuning up before performing is quite satisfying.
交響樂團演出前的調音聲頗令人滿足的。


如果是常看國外 YouTuber 影片的觀眾,應該對一個類似的片語 tune in 有印象吧!tune in 指的是「收看,收聽」。所以 YouTuber 常常在片尾提醒大家記得要回來收看的時候,就會用到這說法喔!另外 stayed tuned 也是他們常用的話,表示「持續關注」。
If you like our videos, don't forget to give us a thumbs up and tune in every Monday for more.
如果你喜歡我們的影片,別忘記幫我們按個讚並在每個禮拜一收看我們更多內容。


*同場加映:
【艾倫秀】Ellen受不了乳液 (Memorable Monologue: Lotions)


3chances are that2:07
這個片語一說出口,英語道地程度立馬上升。意思跟 It is likely that 一樣,表達「很有可能發生」的意思,通常會語假設語氣一起使用。下次不妨在對話中用用看喔!
If you don't study hard for the exam, chances are that you are going to fail the class.
如果你不認真讀段考,你很有可能就會被當掉。

Even if we worked hard every single day, chances are that the boss will never notice. He is barely at the office!
就算我們每天都努力工作,老闆也很有可能根本不會看到。他幾乎不出現在辦公室啊!


4flat out2:33
flat 除了最常見的「扁平,平坦」的意思外,也有很多其他的意思喔!例如影片中的 flat out 就是表達「徹底地,完全地」。例如:
I am flat out broke after taking my girlfriend to that fancy restaurant for her birthday.
帶我女朋友去那高級餐廳慶生後,我整個完全破產了。


此外,flat out 也有「全力以赴,全速運轉」的意思。
We have been working flat out on the project that is due tomorrow.
我們全力在完成明天截止的專案。


flat 當形容詞時,還可以用來形容「平淡,乏味」。可以用在形容電影,演出之類的地方。
The actor's performance in his new film was criticized as flat.
那個演員在新電影的演出被評價為平淡。


最後,如果有再看英國劇《神探夏洛克》或是接觸英式英語朋友,一定知道 flat 還可以當名詞,當作「公寓」的意思。跟我們熟悉的美式英文的 apartment 是一樣的意思,是個英、美國的用語差異喔!
James couldn't afford his flat after he got fired.
詹姆士被炒魷魚後無法負擔他的公寓的房租了。


5be over the moon4:07
這個片語的意思是「欣喜若狂」,高興到飛過月亮了,是不是很生動呢?在用法方面,後面可接 about / with + 事情表達對什麼事感到高興。
The student was over the moon when she got the admission letter from her dream college.
那個學生收到她夢想大學的錄取信時欣喜若狂。


on cloud ninein seventh heaven 也都是表達非常高興的意思。據說分別是源自佛教裡的九重天 (cloud nine) 與伊斯蘭教的七重天 (the seventh heaven),表達快樂似神仙。
I was on cloud nine when I finally passed the test.
我終於通過考試時歡天喜地。

You will be in seventh heaven when you see my present. I guarantee that you will like it.
你看到我準備的禮物時一定超開心。我保證你會喜歡。


*同場加映:
和幸福相關的慣用語 (Idioms and Phrases about Happiness)


小 V 自己發現在台灣,比較少人會在第一次認識的時候握手並自我介紹。小 V 第一次跟人握手時還有點嚇到呢!到現在會自己主動握手後,覺得這種小地方真的會給人更好的印象,大家不妨試試看吧,展現自己自信的魅力!

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