VOICE From J.K. Rowling, the author of

the book series that kept Borders open for another few years.

VOICE (CONT'D) Comes the movie adaptation for

people too lazy to read.

VOICE (CONT'D) Harry Potter.

VOICE (CONT'D) When an evil noseless freak

threatens to take over the world - it's up to this boy wizard, his

totally useless friend and his superior in every way, hot lady

friend... to defeat him.

VOICE (CONT'D) And when I said hot, I only meant

in the last three movies after she turned 18. Pervs.

VOICE (CONT'D) Journey along as they travel to a

magical boarding school where kids learn potions, spells and

divination... but not English, Math or Science.

VOICE (CONT'D) Where technology seems to be frozen

in the 19th century, replacing cell phones and the internet, with quill

pens and owls.

VOICE (CONT'D) And where child endangerment is

totally no big deal.

VOICE (CONT'D) My goodness!

VOICE (CONT'D) Seriously how have they not shut

this school down yet?

VOICE (CONT'D) A franchise so epic, it took ten

years, eight films, four directors and two Dumbledores to tell...

Featuring...

VOICE (CONT'D) The one that started it all

VOICE (CONT'D) The one everyone hates

VOICE (CONT'D) The one everyone loves

VOICE (CONT'D) The one with shovel face.

VOICE (CONT'D) The one with the raging hormones

VOICE (CONT'D) The one where Dumbledore dies

Oh uh, spoiler alert.

VOICE (CONT'D) The one you can skip

VOICE (CONT'D) And the one that made adults cry

like little babies

VOICE (CONT'D) Follow our heroes as they transform

from adorable youngsters struggling to act

VOICE (CONT'D) To awkward tweens

VOICE (CONT'D) To barely legal heartthrobs

'

VOICE (CONT'D) To young adults pretending to look

like grownups.

VOICE (CONT'D) Ron really let himself go.

VOICE (CONT'D) Ron really let himself go.

VOICE (CONT'D) Witness the magic that will dazzle

you with questions like:

If magic is supposed to be secret, why is their doorway in the most

highly trafficed subway station in London?

Why are all the bullies in one house

VOICE (CONT'D) and why don't they just expel them?

VOICE (CONT'D) And isn't it disturbing that this

rat on Ron's crotch is actually a grown man? Ehhugh..

VOICE (CONT'D) Relive the excitement of acclaimed

british thespians yelling nonsense

VOICE (CONT'D) Battles that would have been way

cooler with lightsabers... or if they just moved around a little

more...

VOICE (CONT'D) And Rupert Grint's dumb face.

VOICE (CONT'D) Starring...

VOICE (CONT'D) Luke Sky Potter

VOICE (CONT'D) Ginger Spice

VOICE (CONT'D) Your First Erection

VOICE (CONT'D) Warwick Davis

VOICE (CONT'D) Professor Hans Gruber

VOICE (CONT'D) Claudio Miranda

VOICE (CONT'D) Hairy Old Man

VOICE (CONT'D) Warwick Davis

VOICE (CONT'D) Forrest Whitaker

VOICE (CONT'D) Hodor

VOICE (CONT'D) Michael Jackson

VOICE (CONT'D) Lindsay Lohan

VOICE (CONT'D) Warwick Davis

VOICE (CONT'D) Vladimir Putin

VOICE (CONT'D) Larry King

VOICE (CONT'D) Gandalf the Gay

VOICE (CONT'D) And Warwick Davis

VOICE (CONT'D) Harry Potter

VOICE (CONT'D) So quidditch makes absolutely no sense right? A 150 point ball?

That's just bullshit right there.

Thanks for watching. Be sure to subscribe.

VOICE (CONT'D) "You shall not pass!"

"I love lamp"

"They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh My Goood!"

"They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh My Goood!"

"They're eating her! And then they're going to eat me! Oh My Goood!"

"How's it goin' royal ugly dudes?"

"Allison, I love you. Will you marry me?"

"What the hell is a Hufflepuff?"