and anyone can watch it at anytime,

供人隨意觀看

it makes me feel sick.

就讓我渾身不舒服

I had met this guy online on a band's page.

我在一個樂團的網頁上認識了一個男生

His name was Chris.

他叫克里斯

I was 16 at the time and he was 19.

我當時16歲，他19歲

We started chatting because obviously, like, we were into the same music.

我們會開始聊天是因為喜歡同一種音樂類型

We started off just sending pictures to each other.

剛開始，我們會傳照片給彼此

Just sort of like smiley faces, or just like...

都是微笑的照片，或是⋯⋯

But he started asking for sexual pictures of me.

但後來，他開始要我拍性感的照片

I really didn't want to send them, like, I hadn't done anything like that before and it felt really weird.

我真的很不想傳給他，我從來沒做過這種事，感覺很奇怪

He just kept saying to me 'look it wasn't a big deal' and 'everyone was doing it',

但他一直說「沒什麼大不了的」和「其他人都在做啊」

and he would stop talking to me if I didn't.

要是我不拍，他就會停止跟我說話

I just kind of, yeah, I did it in the end.

最後我屈服了

He wanted to meet up with me.

後他來想跟我見面

So we went out and then he took me to his place.

所以我們就出去，然後他帶我到他家

We, erm, we had sex that night actually.

那晚我們上床了

The next time his tone changed.

下次見面，他的語氣就改變了

He was quite scary and controlling.

變得很恐怖，充滿控制慾

He started then saying he wanted to film us having sex.

他說他想錄我們上床的過程

Yeah, I let him film us.

我讓他錄了

One of my best friends came to me and he said that he had seen a video of me and Chris having sex online.

有天，一個好朋友告訴我他在網路上看到一部我和克里斯上床的影片

That was the worst.

那是最糟的一件事

Chris uploaded it to a porn website I think.

克里斯好像把影片上傳到成人網站

It was all so difficult I just couldn't even make it into college.

一切都很痛苦，我根本無心於上大學

I felt so embarrassed and ashamed and so alone because I didn't know who else had ever been through something like that.

我感到非常羞愧及無助，我不知道還有誰曾經遇過一樣的事情

The police got involved after my parents found out.

爸媽發現這件事後，警察也開始介入

But it was horrible because I didn't want anything to do with it anymore I wanted it to be over.

但我只想要一切趕快結束

But they wanted to press charges 'cause what Chris had done was illegal 'cause I was under 18 at that time he filmed me and uploaded it.

他們想提告，因為我當時未滿18歲，克里斯拍我並上傳是違法的

They said that everyone else that would've seen the video online had broken the law as well.

他們說所有看了這部影片的人也都違法了

Chris is now on the Sex Offenders' Register.

克里斯現在被記在性罪犯登記冊上

I feel really angry about what he did to me.

我很生氣他對我做了這些事

I trusted him.

我信任他

And I feel really angry towards the other guys as well 'cause they may as well have been in the room at the time.

也很氣其他人，看了那部影片就像跟我們身處在同一個房間一樣

It's taken me a lot of counselling to try and get over what's happened.

我做了很多心理諮商才有辦法慢慢恢復

And no matter what I do that video is always gonna be online.

但無論我做什麼，那部影片還會在網路上流傳

And I just hate that I can't get it back.

我好恨我永遠沒辦法把它撤下來