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  • They do their homework on time. Their writing is neat. They keep their bedroom tidy. They

    他們準時做功課。他們書寫端正。他們保持臥室整齊。

  • are often a little shy. They want to help their parents. They use their brakes when

    他們通常有些內向。他們想要幫父母的忙。他們騎車下坡時

  • cycling down a hill. Because they don't pose many immediate problems, we tend to assume

    會使用剎車。因為他們不會立即造成很多問題,所以我們傾向認為

  • all is well with good children. They aren't the target for particular concern. That goes

    好孩子一切都好。他們不是特別關懷的對象。

  • to the kids who are graffiting the underpass. People imagine the good children are fine,

    那些在地下道胡亂塗鴉的孩子才是。人們認為好孩子沒有任何問題,

  • because they do everything that's expected of them. And that, of course, is precisely

    因為他們總按照大家對他們的期待來生活。因此,當然地,這就是問題所在

  • the problem. The secret sorrowsand future difficultiesof the good boy or girl begin

    好男孩或好女孩不為人知的悲傷──還有未來將遭遇的困難──

  • with their inner need for excessive compliance. The good child isn't good because by a quirk

    來自他們內在對「過度服從」的需求。好孩子的「好」並不是因為

  • of nature they simply have no inclination to be anything else. They are good because

    他們古怪的本性,讓他們完全沒有意願活成另一種模樣。他們的「好」是因為

  • they have no other option. Their goodness is a necessity rather than a choice. Many

    根本沒有其他選擇。他們表現良好是種「必要」,而非「選擇」

  • good children are good out of love of a depressed harassed parent who makes it clear they just

    很多好孩子之所以好,是出自對抑鬱雙親的愛,因為這些父母明確表明自己

  • couldn't cope with any more complications or difficulties. Or maybe they are very good

    無力再應付更多複雜狀況或困難。或者,他們很善於

  • to soothe a violently angry parent who could become catastrophically frightening at any

    舒緩父母的情緒,因為父母可能在發現他們有某些

  • sign of less than perfect conduct.

    不盡完美的行為時,變得異常暴怒。

  • But this sort of repression of more challenging emotions, though it produces short-term pleasant obedience,

    但這麼多艱苦的情緒被壓抑著,即使這能造成短期且愉悅的服從,

  • stores up a huge amount of difficulty in later life. Practiced educators and parents should

    也將在好孩子日後的人生裡,累積成了巨大的困難。教育者和父母應該

  • spot signs of exaggerated politenessand treat it as the grave danger it really is. The good

    識別出那些表現得過於禮貌的徵兆──並把它視為很嚴重的危險

  • child becomes a keeper of too many secrets and an appalling communicator of unpopular

    好孩子保守了過多的秘密,同時負責傳達不受歡迎但重要的事項

  • but important things. They say lovely words, they are experts in satisfying the expectations

    他們用詞美妙,也擅長滿足別人的期待

  • of their audiences, but their real thoughts and feelings stay buried and then generate

    但他們的真實想法與感受永遠埋藏著,進而產生

  • psychosomatic symptoms, twitches, sudden outbursts and sulphurous bitterness. The sickness of

    身心症狀、抽搐、突然爆發,以及硫磺般的痛苦

  • the good child is that they have no experience of other people being able to tolerate their

    好孩子的疾病來自於從沒經歷過別人能容忍他們的壞

  • badness. They have missed out a vital privilege accorded to the healthy child; that of being

    他們錯過了健康孩子都享有的重要特權:

  • able to display envious, greedy, ego-maniacal sides and yet be tolerated and loved nevertheless.

    儘管表現出羨慕、貪婪、利己的一面,但仍會被他人包容與喜愛

  • The good person typically has particular problems around sex. As a child, they may have been

    「好人」常會有與「性」相關的問題。在他們幼年時,可能

  • praised for being pure and innocent. As they become an adult however, like all of us, they

    常因為純真和單純而被稱讚。但長大成人後,就像我們一樣,

  • discover the ecstasies of sex, which can be beautifully perverse and excitingly disgusting.

    他們發現性讓人著迷,它既美好又引人墮落,既令人興奮又噁心

  • But this may be radically at odds with the picture of what they believe they are allowed

    但這可能與他們所相信自己該有的模樣截然不同

  • to be like. They may in response disavow their desires, go cold and detached from their bodies

    他們或許就因此否認自己的渴望,並變得性冷淡且遠離身體的慾望

  • or perhaps give in to their longings only in a disproportionate way that is destructive

    或者以一種偏激過度的行為向慾望屈服,讓生活的其他部分也受到破壞

  • to other bits of their lives and leaves them disgusted and frightened. At work, the good

    進而讓他們感到噁心與害怕。工作時,這些「好大人」

  • adult has problems too. As a child, they follow the rules. Never make trouble and take care

    也遇到了問題。在童年時期,他們遵循規則,從不製造麻煩,同時留意

  • not to annoy anyone. But following the rules won't get you very far in adult life. Almost

    不去打擾他人。但一昧遵從不會讓你的人生走的更長遠。幾乎

  • everything that's interesting, worth doing or important will meet with a degree of opposition.

    每件有趣、值得做或重要的事都會遇到一定程度的阻力

  • A brilliant idea will always disappoint certain peopleand yet very much be worth holding

    一個精采的點子雖然還是會讓某些人失望 ─ 但仍然值得堅持去做

  • on to. The good child is condemned to career mediocrity and sterile people-pleasing. Being

    好孩子注定在職場上表現平庸,且為人乏味、只會聽從他人指示來行動

  • properly mature involves a frank, unfrightened relationship with one's own darksides, complexity

    一個人要變得成熟,需坦率不懼地直面自己黑暗、複雜又充滿野心的一面

  • and ambition. It involves accepting that not everything that makes us happy will please

    此外,還包含接受「不是所有讓我們感到開心的事,也同樣

  • others or be honored as especially "nice" by societybut that it can be important

    讓他人滿意、或被社會認為很美好」──但儘管如此,

  • to explore and hold on to it nevertheless. The desire to be good is one of the loveliest

    這些事也可以重要到值得我們去探討與堅持。渴望變「好」是世上最美好的事之一,

  • things in the world, but in order to have a genuinely good life, we may sometimes need

    但為了真正擁有良好的生活,有時候我們可能需要

  • to be, by the standards of the good child, fruitfully and bravely bad.

    勇敢地變成好孩子所謂的「壞」

  • We love bringing you these films, if you want to help us to keep bringing you thoughtful content,

    我們喜歡為你帶來這些影片,如果你想幫助我們、讓我們能繼續帶給你具有思考性的內容

  • please consider supporting us by visiting our shop at the link on your screen now.

    請考慮藉由造訪我們的商店來支持我們,你只需點擊螢幕上的連結即可前往瀏覽

They do their homework on time. Their writing is neat. They keep their bedroom tidy. They

他們準時做功課。他們書寫端正。他們保持臥室整齊。

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B1 中級 中文 英國腔 孩子 父母 服從 模樣 慾望 美好

人生好難!當好孩子也有的包袱?! (The Dangers of the Good Child)

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    Anita Lin 發佈於 2017 年 10 月 03 日
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