in the coming century,

甚至是未來的一萬年。

and perhaps in the next 10,000 years.

但我想從我對愛情的研究工作開始談起，

But I want to start with my work on romantic love,

因為那是我最近的研究結果。

because that's my most recent work.

我和同事們把32位瘋狂陷入愛河的人們

What I and my colleagues did was put 32 people, who were madly in love,

放在MRI機器台上做了腦部掃描。

into a functional MRI brain scanner.

其中17位愛的瘋狂，愛有得到回應，

17 who were madly in love and their love was accepted;

另15位愛得入骨，但被甩了。

and 15 who were madly in love and they had just been dumped.

所以我們先談談那個，

And so I want to tell you about that first,

然後再說未來愛的趨勢如何。

and then go on into where I think love is going.

「情為何物?」莎士比亞曾經問道。

(Laughter)

我想,我們人類的祖先從很久以前就開始思索這個問題，

"What 'tis to love?" Shakespeare said.

他們在夜空下圍著營火，躺下仰望繁星，百萬年前就開始沉思這個問題。

I think our ancestors --

我的工作由研究愛情的本質為何開始，

I think human beings have been wondering about this question

我是從過去45年來的研究文獻著手--心理學範圍，

since they sat around their campfires

結果發現，特定的一些事情會集中發生在愛意萌生時。

or lay and watched the stars a million years ago.

第一件事，墜入愛河的人，

I started out by trying to figure out what romantic love was

所有事物對他而言都有了「特殊意義」

by looking at the last 45 years of the psychological research

一位卡車司機跟我說，

and as it turns out,

他說：「這世界有了一個新的中心,我的瑪莉安,就是一切的中心。」

there's a very specific group of things that happen when you fall in love.

蕭伯納說的差不多，

The first thing that happens is,

他說：「愛的成分不過就是,在兩個女人中過度高估了其中一位」

a person begins to take on what I call, "special meaning."

確實如此，一點也沒錯。

As a truck driver once said to me,

然後你就這樣專心一意在一個人身上，

"The world had a new center, and that center was Mary Anne."

你可以列出你不喜歡他們的那些事情，

George Bernard Shaw said it differently.

但你會把不喜歡清單扔到腦後，單只看喜歡的部份。

"Love consists of overestimating the differences

喬叟說過：「愛是盲目的」

between one woman and another."

當我嘗試著要釐清浪漫愛情，

And indeed, that's what we do.

我想就先從拜讀全世界的情詩開始吧。

(Laughter)

我介紹一首中國第八世紀的短詩，

And then you just focus on this person.

因為它正是表達了男人對某位特定女人如何癡迷的完美案例。

You can list what you don't like about them,

它形容十分貼切-當你瘋狂的愛上某人的時候，

but then you sweep that aside and focus on what you do.

當你走入停車場，

As Chaucer said, "Love is blind."

就連你愛的對象的車，都和別的車子長得不一樣，

In trying to understand romantic love,

晚宴上他們所持的酒杯，也和別的玻璃杯都不一樣。

I decided I would read poetry from all over the world,

這位男子藉一張竹席而大發相思之情 (註:「鶯鶯傳」中的張生)

and I just want to give you one very short poem

詩中這麼說，這是元稹的作品：

from eighth-century China,

「竹簟襯重茵，未忍都令捲。

because it's an almost perfect example

憶昨初來日，看君自施展。」

of a man who is focused totally on a particular woman.

睹物思人，對一張竹蓆難以忘情，

It's a little bit like when you are madly in love with somebody

原因可能是大腦釋放旺盛的多巴胺，

and you walk into a parking lot --

就像你我的大腦也是如此運作。

their car is different from every other car in the parking lot.

但不只是特殊意義的產生而已，

Their wine glass at dinner

你的注意力集中在他們身上，

is different from every other wine glass at the dinner party.

你還會誇張擴大你的對象，並且你精力無限，

And in this case, a man got hooked on a bamboo sleeping mat.

就像一個玻里尼亞人曾說：「我想要一躍騰空。」

And it goes like this.

你可以整夜無眠，漫步到天明。

It's by a guy called Yuan Zhen.

一切順利如意時，你會比平常還要開心，

"I cannot bear to put away the bamboo sleeping mat.

進展不順，心情盪到谷底，

The night I brought you home, I watched you roll it out."

你的情緒完完全全隨之起伏。

He became hooked on a sleeping mat,

就像一位紐約商人所說：「只要是她喜歡的東西，我都喜歡。」

probably because of elevated activity of dopamine in his brain,

很簡單，愛情就是這麼簡單。

just like with you and me.

你在性方面極端地具有獨佔慾。

But anyway, not only does this person take on special meaning,

如果你跟某人只是床伴，

you focus your attention on them.

他們和別人睡的時候你不會介意。

You aggrandize them.

但一旦你愛上對方，

But you have intense energy.

你對他們的性佔有慾會極端強烈。

As one Polynesian said, "I felt like jumping in the sky."

我想這在人類物種的演化上中是有其目的，

You're up all night. You're walking till dawn.

目的就是要把兩個人拉近，連在一起，

You feel intense elation when things are going well;

非常強的拉近力，好讓他們可以組成兩人團隊養育嬰孩長大。

mood swings into horrible despair when things are going poorly.

但浪漫愛情的主要特徵是渴求，

Real dependence on this person.

強烈的想要和某一特定對象長相左右的渴求，不只是性，更是於情感上的需求。

As one businessman in New York said to me,

你會很想要的是—和他們上床當然甚好，

"Anything she liked, I liked."

但你更想要的是他們打電話給你，約你出去之類的。

Simple. Romantic love is very simple.

你想聽見他們說我愛你。

You become extremely sexually possessive.

情的另一個特徵是原動力，

You know, if you're just sleeping with somebody casually,

就像腦中有一台發電機開始運轉，讓你很想要這個人。

you don't really care if they're sleeping with somebody else.

最後但很重要的，愛情還是一種癡迷。

But the moment you fall in love,

當我把這些人放在MRI掃描機台上之前，

you become extremely sexually possessive of them.

我問他們各式各樣的問題，

I think there's a Darwinian purpose to this.

但我最重要的問題總是同一個，

The whole point of this is to pull two people together

那就是：「你有多少時候，白天或晚上，會想到這個人呢？」

strongly enough to begin to rear babies as a team.

他們總是回答：「整日、整夜，我無法停止想念他/她。」

But the main characteristics of romantic love are craving:

然後,最後我會問他們的問題是 —

an intense craving to be with a particular person,

我總是必須花一番功夫才能問這個問題，

not just sexually, but emotionally.

因為我不是心理醫師，

It would be nice to go to bed with them,

我並不處理什麼心理創傷經驗，

but you want them to call you on the telephone, to invite you out, etc.,

但是我最後一個問題總是一樣，

to tell you that they love you.

我會問：「你是否願意為他/她而死?」

The other main characteristic is motivation.

這些人總是回答說：「會呀！」

The motor in the brain begins to crank, and you want this person.

就像我問他能不能遞一下鹽罐子的輕鬆平常，

And last but not least, it is an obsession.

這讓我覺得十分驚訝。

Before I put these people in the MRI machine,

進行大腦掃描時，我們給實驗者看一張愛人的照片，另外一張是尋常普通的相片，

I would ask them all kinds of questions.

看這些照片之間，會有一個轉移注意力用的小活動，

But my most important question was always the same.

我們可以觀察大腦在高度運作時

It was: "What percentage of the day and night do you think about this person?"

以及在休息狀態的一些狀況。

And indeed, they would say,

我們發現一些特殊活動在腦中許多不同部位發生，

"All day. All night.

事實上最重要的活動是發生在

I can never stop thinking about him or her."

一塊當人吸食古柯鹼而有快感時活躍的部位。

And then, the very last question --

事實上，實況就是如此。

I would always have to work myself up to this question,

我開始了解到浪漫愛情不是一種情緒。

because I'm not a psychologist.

過去我一直認為它是一系列的情緒，

I don't work with people in any kind of traumatic situation.

從高昂到低迷。

My final question was always the same.

但事實上，它是一種驅動力，直接從精神上發動出來的力量，

I would say, "Would you die for him or her?"

精神上想望和渴求的部分。

And, indeed, these people would say "Yes!"

它像是

as if I had asked them to pass the salt.

你要吃那塊巧克力的想要，

I was just staggered by it.

你在工作上想得到升遷的想要，

So we scanned their brains,

是大腦的驅動組，它是驅動的力量。

looking at a photograph of their sweetheart

事實上，我認為它比性慾的驅動力更強。

and looking at a neutral photograph,

當你問某人要不要和你上床，他們說「不要」

with a distraction task in between.

顯然你不會因此而自殺或陷入憂鬱症，

So we could look at the same brain when it was in that heightened state

但是全世界都有人，因為在愛中被拒絕，而殺戮。

and when it was in a resting state.

人們為愛而生，為愛而殺，為愛而死。

And we found activity in a lot of brain regions.

人為愛譜曲、賦詩、寫小說、刻雕像、繪畫、流傳了迷思和神話，

In fact, one of the most important was a brain region

世上超過175個社會，人們以此留下了這強大腦系統運作的證據。

that becomes active when you feel the rush of cocaine.

我認為這是地球上最強的一種力量，

And indeed, that's exactly what happens.

它能帶來狂悲，也能帶來狂喜。

I began to realize that romantic love is not an emotion.

這讓我想到，愛情是三者其中之ㄧ，

In fact, I had always thought it was a series of emotions,

大腦為了適應求偶和繁殖，在演化過程中發展出三個不同的腦系統。

from very high to very low.

第一是性慾驅動：追求性滿足，

But actually, it's a drive.

詩人奧登稱之為「難忍之癢」，

It comes from the motor of the mind,

真的，很貼切，

the wanting part of the mind, the craving part of the mind.

它一直不斷的騷擾你，就像饑餓感。

The kind of part of the mind

第二個腦系統是浪漫愛情，

when you're reaching for that piece of chocolate,

那種在愛情一開始，得意、熱烈、呈癡迷狀態的浪漫。

when you want to win that promotion at work.

大腦中第三個系統是依存感，

The motor of the brain.

是相伴已久的伴侶能帶給你的那種平穩、安全感。

It's a drive.

我認為性慾是驅動你出來，

And in fact, I think it's more powerful than the sex drive.

尋找各式各樣可能的對象。

You know, if you ask somebody to go to bed with you,

就像，當你獨自一人在開車的時候，

and they say, "No, thank you,"

無意中你會注意到某個陌生人。

you certainly don't kill yourself or slip into a clinical depression.

浪漫愛情的演化是為了要讓你在擇偶所花的精力上能產生焦點，

But certainly, around the world,

一次只專注在一個人上面，

people who are rejected in love will kill for it.

這樣做可以節省擇偶的時間和精力。

People live for love.

至於大腦中第三種系統：依存感，

They kill for love.

它的演化產生是為了，讓你對某一個人類有大一點的寬容，(笑聲)

They die for love.

至少寬容的時間夠讓你們能合力把孩子撫養長大。

They have songs, poems, novels,

有了這樣的前題，我要繼續談到兩大社會趨勢，

sculptures, paintings, myths, legends.

第一個趨勢存在已一萬年，第二個則是出現於過去這25年—

In over 175 societies,

兩者將對於這三個大腦系統帶來巨大的衝擊。

people have left their evidence of this powerful brain system.

這三個系統：性慾、浪漫愛情、和深切的依附感。

I have come to think

第一是職業婦女，進入職場，

it's one of the most powerful brain systems on Earth

我看過了150 —130個社會，透過聯合國所公告的人口數字年鑑，

for both great joy and great sorrow.

在世界上每個角落，130當中的129個，女性不只是進入工作市場，

And I've also come to think

有時候非常非常緩慢，但她們的確正在逐步進入職場，

that it's one of three basically different brain systems

而且正慢慢地在經濟影響力，健康和教育程度上

that evolved from mating and reproduction.

追上男女之間的落差。

One is the sex drive: the craving for sexual gratification.

速度很慢，

W.H. Auden called it an "intolerable neural itch,"

地球上每出現一個潮流，也會有個反潮流。

and indeed, that's what it is.

我們都知道這是必然的，儘管如此，有句古老的阿拉伯俗語：

It keeps bothering you a little bit, like being hungry.

「狗就算吠，篷車照開。」

The second of these three brain systems is romantic love:

確實，篷車是繼續前行的。

that elation, obsession of early love.

女性又再回到了工作職場中，

And the third brain system is attachment:

而我說「再」回到了工作職場，因為這不是新鮮事。

that sense of calm and security you can feel for a long-term partner.

遠古世界曾經有百萬年，在非洲大草原上，

And I think that the sex drive evolved to get you out there,

女人以外出採集蔬果為她們的工作，

looking for a whole range of partners.

帶回家供應晚餐的食物份量達60%到80%，

You can feel it when you're just driving along in your car.

雙薪家庭對他們而言是常態。

It can be focused on nobody.

女人在經濟、社會地位、性的方面和男人是平起平坐的。

I think romantic love evolved to enable you to focus your mating energy

簡言之，我們去向的前方其實是回到了古早以往。

on just one individual at a time,

之後，女人最不妙的發明就是「犁」。

thereby conserving mating time and energy.

有了犁田的農業，男人變重要了，

And I think that attachment, the third brain system,

女人則失去了他們古老的採集者的工作。

evolved to enable you to tolerate this human being

但藉由工業革命和後工業革命，

at least long enough to raise a child together as a team.

女性又再度回到了就業市場。

So with that preamble,

簡言之，她們取得的是一百萬年前、一萬年前、

I want to go into discussing the two most profound social trends.

或十萬年前，就已經存在的社會地位。

One of the last 10,000 years

我們現在正目擊人類歷史上最鮮明的傳統特質重現，

and the other, certainly of the last 25 years,

它會帶來一些衝擊，

that are going to have an impact on these three different brain systems:

關於女性在商業社群中帶來的衝擊效應，就又是另一篇演講了，

lust, romantic love and deep attachment to a partner.

我在此只略提一二。然後我要講的是性和愛，

The first is women working, moving into the workforce.

兩性間有很大的差異，

I've looked at 130 societies

那些說男人和女人沒有差別的人，恐怕是自己未曾養育過一男和一女。

through the demographic yearbooks of the United Nations.

我不明白他們為何說男女沒什麼不同，

Everywhere in the world, 129 out of 130 of them,

我們確實有許多共通點，但也有許多

women are not only moving into the job market --

非共通點。

sometimes very, very slowly, but they are moving into the job market --

套一句詩人休斯說的，

and they are very slowly closing that gap between men and women

「人類生而有雙腳，雙腳彼此合作才能邁步向前 — 人類兩性也一樣，彼此需要。」

in terms of economic power, health and education.

但在演化的過程中我們有了不一樣的大腦，

It's very slow.

許多的不同存在於兩性之間，就大腦而言。

For every trend on this planet, there's a counter-trend.

我舉其中一二為例，然後接著再講性與愛。

We all know of them, but nevertheless --

其中之ㄧ是女性的語言能力，女人比較會說話，

the Arabs say, "The dogs may bark, but the caravan moves on."

女性能比較快找到正確的措辭，基本修辭能力，

And, indeed, that caravan is moving on.

在生理週期正中央時達到巔峰，此時雌激素最旺盛，

Women are moving back into the job market.

但即使在行經期間，她的口語表達能力也比一般男人較好，

And I say back into the job market, because this is not new.

女人就是會說話。

For millions of years, on the grasslands of Africa,

百萬年以來都如此進行，女人的工具就是言語文字。

women commuted to work to gather their vegetables.

她們端詳雙臂中懷抱的嬰兒，

They came home with 60 to 80 percent of the evening meal.

逗弄、輕聲責罵、用言語教育孩子們，

The double income family was the standard.

而的確，女性們正形成一股強有力的勢力，

And women were regarded as just as economically,

甚至是在印度以及日本這些地方，

socially and sexually powerful as men.

女性或許沒有很快速的進入一般職場，

In short, we're really moving forward to the past.

但她們進入了專業新聞領域，

Then, women's worst invention was the plow.

我認為電視像是全球以之為中心的一團營火，

With the beginning of plow agriculture, men's roles became extremely powerful.

我們都環繞電視而坐，讓心智接收電視的教化。

Women lost their ancient jobs as collectors,

每次當我上電視，前來和我溝通

but then with the industrial revolution and the post-industrial revolution

待會要說什麼內容的製作人幾乎全是女性。

they're moving back into the job market.

索忍尼辛曾說：

In short, they are acquiring the status that they had a million years ago,

「好作家的功用，等同於另一個政府。」

10,000 years ago, 100,000 years ago.

今天有54%的美國作家是女性，

We are seeing now one of the most remarkable traditions

語言能力只是女性帶進工作職場

in the history of the human animal.

的許許多多專有特色之一。

And it's going to have an impact.

女性還有絕佳人際溝通技巧、協商技巧

I generally give a whole lecture

以及高度想像力。

on the impact of women on the business community.

如今我們明白大腦中有想像力的線路，有長期規劃的線路。

I'll say just a couple of things, and then go on to sex and love.

女性是網路型思考者，

There's a lot of gender differences;

因為女性大腦的連結程度比較好，

anybody who thinks men and women are alike

思考時會收集較多的資訊，

simply never had a boy and a girl child.

也將資訊放進較複雜的架構中，因此看出更多的選項和後果。

I don't know why they want to think that men and women are alike.

她們是比較完整、能觀前顧後的思考者，我稱之為網路型思考者。

There's much we have in common,

男性則是 — 一般而言 — 捨棄他們認為多餘的，

but there's a whole lot that we do not have in common.

只看他們要做的，採取一種規律步驟型的思考方式。

We are -- in the words of Ted Hughes,

兩種思考方式都很好，

"I think that we are like two feet. We need each other to get ahead."

人類同時需要這兩種思考方式才能邁步向前。

But we did not evolve to have the same brain.

事實上，世界上男性天才是比較多的，

And we're finding more and more gender differences in the brain.

但是男性的笨蛋也比較多。(笑聲)

I'll only just use a couple and then move on to sex and love.

當男性的大腦運作良好的時候，呈現的結果非常好。

One of them is women's verbal ability.

我認為，我們正朝向一個協同共工的社會演進，

Women can talk.

在這社會中男性和女性的天賦都獲得彼此了解、

Women's ability to find the right word rapidly, basic articulation

珍惜和發揮。

goes up in the middle of the menstrual cycle,

事實上女性進入職場帶來的一個極大衝擊

when estrogen levels peak.

是在性、浪漫愛情及家庭生活方面。

But even at menstruation, they're better than the average man.

最重要的是，女性的性自主開始覺醒。

Women can talk.

我總是覺得驚訝當有人問我：

They've been doing it for a million years; words were women's tools.

「為什麼男人都那麼愛出軌?」

They held that baby in front of their face,

而我總說：「你憑什麼覺得是男性比較愛出軌呢?」

cajoling it, reprimanding it, educating it with words.

「嗯，出軌的男性比較多啊!」

And, indeed, they're becoming a very powerful force.

我說：「那你認為這些出軌男人都是和誰上床了?」

Even in places like India and Japan,

這是 — 基本算術！ (笑聲)

where women are not moving rapidly into the regular job market,

無論如何，

they're moving into journalism.

在西方世界，女孩們，嗯，

And I think that the television is like the global campfire.

女性較早開始有性生活，也有較多的對象經驗，

We sit around it and it shapes our minds.

分手時也較少悔恨自責。

Almost always, when I'm on TV, the producer who calls me,

晚婚、生育子女較少，不眷戀不幸福的婚姻，並追求幸福的婚姻，

who negotiates what we're going to say,

我們正在見證女性的性自主意識抬頭，

is a woman.