Name: 如何讓你的配偶清潔!(清潔我的空間) (How to Get Your Spouse to Clean! (Clean My Space))
Uploaded: 2021-01-14T06:50:01.000Z
Duration: 10 min 3 s
Description: 【看影片學英語】數萬部 YouTube 影片，搭配英漢字典即點即查，輕鬆掌握單字發音與用法，長久累積看電影不必再看字幕。

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It may come as no real surprise that one of the biggest causes

for tension in a couple's relationship is housework and, more specifically,

the seemingly unfair workload that might fall on your shoulders

while your partner just sits back and reaps the benefits of your hard work.

This is one of the most requested video topics here at CMS HQ.

So this week we are talking about how to get your significant other

to help you with the cleaning responsibilities.

We feel it's important to note that while researching this video, we came across

quite a few articles that talked about how to get him to clean

or tips and tricks for getting your husband to clean.

But I can assure you we here at Clean My Space will not be talking like that.

This is not a one-sided issue, my friends.

Over a quarter of our audience are men. So when we say "partner,"

we mean him or her. There will be no stereotyping here.

Also, we're not marriage counselors. We've researched this topic thoroughly

and have just drawn from our own experiences,

and that's what I'm going to share with you in this video.

Having a frank, deliberate conversation about cleaning,

its importance to your partner, and why your partner

doesn't want to or can't clean at the moment,

will help you understand where they're coming from.

Perhaps it's a scheduling issue, a physical issue, a skill issue.

Perhaps it's even an emotional issue. At least the conversation will help

you learn something and give you a starting off point.

This then gives you the opportunity to do the same thing.

Speak about how important and meaningful a clean space is to you,

how it affects you, and how you've been struggling with the workload.

about your challenges, naturally they'll want to help.

Think about how different this is than normal nagging

During your conversation, it is more than likely to get a little bit heated.

Remember that getting angry and raising your voice isn't going to get you

anywhere, aside from right back to where you don't want to be anymore.

Look at this in a new light. It's a new approach to an old

and very crusty problem. If you point fingers at your partner,

I can assure you they won't give a crap about what you've got to say.

Come from you and your needs, and then listen closely

to your partner and their needs. Anger is the easy, common,

and problematic way to deal with this, and that's what we're trying to change.

I'm going to assume that you chose your partner because they are

a good person and good for you. You also care about them.

Stereotyping your partner and perpetuating the notion of one of those many cultural

stereotypes floating around is toxic, especially if you want to effect change.

Remember, people like to meet the expectations that are set for them,

and generally they want to please others by fulfilling those expectations.

So if you continue to reinforce the stereotype that your partner is lazy,

they will gladly prove you right. Hold them in a different regard

Perhaps it's easiest to start by focusing

Part of your conversation can be about areas which are important

to the both of you, and that's where you can start from.

If the kitchen is really important to you and the office is really important

to your partner, focus on what your partner cares about

Once you've had a collaborative chat and you understand the MIAs,

it's time to create a new routine which makes sense for both people.

It's not fair to pigeonhole your partner into your routine,

and it's certainly not reasonable to expect them to be up to par

with you from the word go. They're likely not skilled or efficient

enough to do the work yet because they haven't had the experience that you do.

It's kind of like training for a marathon, which I have never done by the way.

You start with one kilometer and you walk, and as you gauge

and appreciate your progress, you can build more in,

The same goes for you and your partner's cleaning routine.

Build something great together, but start from a reasonable place.

If your partner is not used to doing any cleaning or is not good at it

or passionate about it, it is hard to imagine

that they're going to do anything perfectly.

If you expect perfection, I'll tell you right now,

you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

Don't expect their work to be done to the Ritz-Carlton standards on the first go.

It's up to you to manage your expectations and to be appreciative

and complimentary of the effort more than dissuading your partner

When you've started your new routine and your partner

is starting to contribute, let them do their thing as they do.

It is not your opportunity to micromanage, rather to compliment

and thank your partner for their contribution, whatever it was.

I have yet to meet one person who likes to be micromanaged, especially an adult.

Allow autonomy in scheduling and performance and you might see

some really interesting changes in your partner.

They might do something extra. They might get creative,

and without question, they will want to impress you.

If your partner asks you for help or advice, you can certainly provide it,

or you could send them over to CleanMySpace.com

or to YouTube.com/CleanMySpace, and they could check out one

of our articles or videos and learn how to do it on their own.

you've got to find a way to make cleaning fun.

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如何讓你的配偶清潔!(清潔我的空間) (How to Get Your Spouse to Clean! (Clean My Space))

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