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How many of you here in the audience tonight are visiting from out of town?
You flew here to be...
Okay quite a few.
I'm glad none of you were yanked off your plane.
Have you seen that video of the guy getting dragged off the United flight?
This happened yesterday in Chicago.
They overbooked a flight to Louisville, and you know, whenever the airlines do this
- which I don't even understand by the way,
I've been to 100 like, games and stadiums with 50,000 seats,
they never sell the same seat two times to one person, but for some reason, airlines cannot figure this out.
So when they have more passengers than they do seats, they offer incentives to get people to volunteer to not fly and you get a voucher.
In this case, they offer the people on the plane $400 and a hotel to give up their seats,
but there were no takers so they upped to $800 and still no takers,
so then - I didn't even know they did this - they randomly selected 4 passengers to be removed from the plane.
They did.
Three of them got up begrudgingly and got off.
But one of the passengers said he was a doctor, and had to be at the hospital in the morning.
So he refused to deplane, and this is how that refusal went.
Oh my God
No!
Guys! My God! What are you doing?
No! This isn't normal! Oh my God!
Look at what you did to him!
Oh my God.
That's interesting to see.
See who laughs at that one.
That's how my mother used to get me out of bed to go to school every morning.
But this poor guy! They roughed him up and the reason they were overbooked is just because they were trying to get 4 United Airlines employees on board.
They said the employees had to get to Louisville so they kicked customers who paid for the ticket off the plane to make room for them.
And then about ten minutes later, the guy they kicked off somehow, ten minutes later
- and this I have no explanation for -
somehow he wound up back on the plane.
I have to go home.
He had to go home. He didn't go home. They left him in Louisville, the employees of United got on and the passengers booed them when got on the plane,
which is all terrible but this might be the worst part of all of it.
The CEO of United released the statement via Twitter.
This is what the CEO tweeted:
This is an upsetting event to all of us here at United.
I apologize for having to re-accommodate these customers.
He said "re-accommodate". It's like we re-accommodated El Chopo out of Mexico.
That makes me, that is such sanitized, say nothing, take no responsibility, corporate, B.S. speak.
I don't know how the guy who sent that tweet didn't vomit when he typed it out but
it's crazy, I mean, when you break this down,
a man was forcefully dragged off a flight because they oversold it,
which how that happens the first place I don't know,
and by the way, they almost certainly could have gotten volunteers by offering more money or travel voucher.
Maybe 800 bucks couldn't do it but they could've gone up to 1,000 or 5,000 or 100,000 and who cares?
It's not the passengers' fault if you sold too many seats on your plane.
They bought tickets.
Can you imagine this happening in any other industry?
I mean, imagine if this happened at Applebee's.
Imagine if you sit down, you order your 3 cheese chicken capatoppi or whatever.
Fine.
20 minutes later the waiter comes over and says
"Sorry we have another party coming and we need this chair so either you can leave or we will make you leave."
Then you say "I don't wanna leave, I got my chicken I want to eat."
And he grabs you by the arm and throws you out.
You'd never go to Applebee's again right?
But that's the thing.
We don't do that with airlines.
The next time we book a flight, it doesn't matter with United or Delta or American,
if one of those flights is a dollar less than the other one, that's the one we'll pick.
They know this. That's why we're stuck with them.
Our only other choice is the bus.
So, United didn't even admit they did anything wrong,
and if fact, if anything, they seem to be doubling down on us.
We're United Airlines.
You do what we say, when we say.
And there won't be a problem.
Capiche?
If we say you fly, you fly.
If not, tough [bleep]
Give us a problem, and we'll drag your ass off the plane.
And if you resist, we'll beat you so badly, you be using your own face as a floatation device.
United Airlines.
[bleep] you.
Wow. Those are the friendly sides.
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【吉米秀】吉米用超強惡搞影片酸爆美國聯航事件 (Jimmy Kimmel on Passenger Dragged Off United Flight)

41077 分類 收藏
Darren 發佈於 2017 年 4 月 15 日   Colleen Jao 翻譯   Hsin 審核

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