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  • Let's imagine two kinds of childhood.

    讓我們來設想兩種不同的童年。

  • The first, broadly, is the good kind.

    首先,以下是一個美好童年大概的樣子。

  • When you are upset, someone is on hand to soothe you.

    當你沮喪時,有人安慰你。

  • When you're furious, someone handles you calmly.

    當你憤怒時,有人冷靜地應對你。

  • When you need attention, someone is there for you.

    當你需要關注時,有人在你身邊。

  • When you can't understand, someone explains.

    當你遇到不理解的事情時,有人會跟你解釋。

  • When you're messy, someone resists shaming you.

    當你一團糟時,他們絕不會羞辱你。

  • When you fail, you're not called a loser.

    當你失敗時,他們不會說你是個失敗者。

  • When there's a problem, you get through it.

    當你遇到難題時,你會挺過去的。

  • In short, you deserve to exist.

    總之,你的存在是意義重大的。

  • Whatever the value system of the competitive world out there.

    不論外面充滿競爭的世界有什麼樣的價值體系。

  • Inside you're of huge value, you are for as long as it takes the center of one or two kindly grown ups universe.

    在你的世界裡,你有極大的價值,你是一個或兩個善良成年人世界的中心。

  • Then broadly there's the challenging old plain bad childhood.

    接下來描述的是一個糟糕的童年通常的樣子。

  • When you cry, they call you spoiled.

    當你哭泣時,他們說你被寵壞了。

  • When you're difficult, they say it's attention seeking.

    當你耍小性子時,他們說你在故意尋求關注。

  • When you don't succeed, they take it personally.

    當你沒有成功時,他們認為那是你自身的原因。

  • When you're messy, they're disgusted.

    當你一團糟時,他們會很嫌棄你。

  • When you try to be strong, they're threatened.

    當你想努力變強時,他們會威脅你。

  • When you're weak and unimpressive, they belittle you.

    當你軟弱、讓人印象不好時,他們會看不起你。

  • In short, it's a bit of a pity you're around.

    簡短地說,你的存在是遺憾的。

  • You don't quite deserve to exist.

    你的存在沒有意義。

  • You're a burden

    你是他們的負擔。

  • And in the end, really just a giant disappointment.

    而到最後,你會讓他們感到非常的失望。

  • The first kind of childhood is just about the greatest gift anyone can receive.

    第一種童年,對於擁有它的人來說是最棒的禮物。

  • It's at the root of the chance to form satisfying relationships, to accept one's sexuality, to have ambition without perfectionism and to approach adversity with resilience.

    它可以從根本上塑造讓人滿意的人際關係、接受別人的性別、擁有野心但不吹毛求疵,並且面對逆境時能樂觀面對。

  • And likewise a bad sort of childhood is proper lasting trouble.

    同理,一個糟糕的童年有可能是一個長久的麻煩。

  • It keeps undermining relationships, generates endless problems around sex, saps confidence, brings anxieties, self hatred and shame.

    它會不斷地破壞你的人際關係、造成關於性別方面無休止的問題、削弱自信心、帶來焦慮、自我憎惡,且感到羞恥。

  • We don't yet know how completely to fix bad childhoods.

    我們目前都還不知道如何能完全修復糟糕童年帶來的影響。

  • They're a proper pain to have had, but here are one or two things to try very hard to keep in mind.

    它是你之前心頭的痛,但有幾件事必須要努力記在心上。

  • Do everything you can to understand the craziness inside you.

    不遺餘力來理解你自己內心的瘋狂。

  • Be suspicious of many of your first intuitions and responses.

    對你多數的直覺和第一反應保持懷疑的態度。

  • Watch out for weird stuff, you're gonna try to do to sabotage your chances of flourishing.

    當你打算嘗試一些奇怪的事物時,要小心它可能會毀掉你的前途。

  • Warn people around you in a gentle and alarming way about what you've been through.

    溫和地提醒你身邊的人,你曾經經歷過的事。

  • Invite them to feel sorry for you rather than just condemn you for being difficult.

    讓他們能理解、同情你,而不是譴責你為什麼性格這麼古怪。

  • Try to get all the insights you can, from books, therapy and thinking.

    看書、參加治療、思考來多多增加自己的見識。

  • Accept that this is a legacy you're a gonna be carrying around with you all your life.

    接受這個糟糕童年會一直伴隨你一生的事實。

  • Feel without self pity but a little bit sorry for yourself.

    為自己感到一絲遺憾就好,別自憐。

Let's imagine two kinds of childhood.

讓我們來設想兩種不同的童年。

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