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Hey what's up everyone it's ya boy Motoki.
I have some big news for you today.
I finally did it, I got a match on Tinder and a date, let's go.
That's right mom, you didn't think I could but I did.
So if you're watching this, you can stop saying "oh you'll never have a girlfriend, you'll
never find someone, you'll never amount to anything in your life, you're such a disappoint
and I wish I never had you"...
... f*ck ...
But anyways, it's totally legit guys, okay, we matched on Tinder.
Check it out we've been messaging each other, okay, it's totally legit, not fake at all.
Yeah you heard me, I can go on dates if I want to, yeah no big deal, whatever.
But without further ado, let me introduce you to my date, Melissa.
Oh what the f*ck.
Aw, there you are!
So thank you so much for agreeing to do this video, I know it's kinda weird.
I have to admit, I've been wanting to make a tinder date video for quite awhile now
but nobody ever matches with me, so thanks for believing in me.
When I first asked you if you could be in a video, it was kinda sketch cause like,
what if it's a porno right? "Yeah"
But, that's for later.
To start out, I thought that I could ask you some questions, maybe get to know you a little bit better yeah?
"Okay yeah sure" Let's do it.
First question, what would your ideal boyfriend be like?
"I think he'd have to be fit, funny, and attractive".
I mean, I can be those things.
Do you want to have kids one day?
"Yes I do" Okay, yeah, same.
We have so much in common.
Would you like kids anytime soon though?
"No"
F*ck, okay..
So next question, what made you get a tinder?
"Well, just to make friends and have fun" Okay yeah same.
People usually use tinder to hook up but we wouldn't do anything like that.
"Of course not"
Alright, I stopped recording, you wanna have sex?
"Yeah let's go" Aw f*ck yeah.
We're kidding guys, okay obviously we're not like that..
Think they'll believe that sh*t? "I think we're good".
If you could marry any celebrity, who would it be?
"Definitely Zac Efron" Oh yeah he's a daddy.
What's something you absolutely hate about guys?
"Ugh, when they like Donald Trump" Oh true!
What is your favorite fruit?
"Pineapple" Pineapple, more like, you're a fine apple.
What's your favorite body part on a man?
"Eyes" Eyes, such bullshit everyone says that.
If you couldn't tell, I don't really get the chance to talk to girls, so this is just new for me.
"How often do you talk to girls" Pff, like all the time, I'm kidding, totally joking,
like every day, weekly, monthly, maybe yearly.
So how do you go about getting girls, not for me for course cause obviously I'm chilling,
like for anybody who's watching maybe.
"Well you gotta compliment them, and be friendly, tend to her every need, put her first,
every little thing counts, you gotta get her something every once in awhile, get to know her family,
make sure she feels loved, make her feel special and show her respect"
You know what I'm just going to stay single for the rest of my life f*ck it.
Okay so I want to spice things up a little bit.
I have a script here for us. It's a little skit.
You down? "Sure"
Alright here we go guys, we present to you, The Plumber.
"Oh no, my sink doesn’t work any more, I think I need a plumber!
Who could that be?"
Don't worry!
I'm a plumber, and I'm here to take a look at your pipes!
"Oh wow, that was fast, thank you."
Do you like my big hard tool?
"Yeah, that' s really big!"
Thanks, I guess should look at your pipes now.
Wow, it’s really wet down here.
Just how I like it.
I think I need to drain my fluids..
I mean, the fluids.
"Oh yes, please do."
First I have to lube these pipes up...
There we go.
All fixed.
Looks like we're all done here.
"Thanks so much."
Anytime, my pleasure.
"Wait it says here that we have to kiss?"
I mean if it’s in the script, I guess, you know, we have to, oh darn.
"Wait, didn't you write the script?"
Shut the fuck up bro what the hell?
So what did you think about the date overall?
"I mean, it was interesting".
I'll take it.
How would you score this on like a 1-10?
"Four"
Aw f*ck.
Alright so that's it for this video, actually, I wanted to ask you something.
I was thinking that for the thumbnail of this video that maybe you could be kissing my cheek.
Just because, I mean, you don't have to..
"I mean yeah" Yeah? Ah fuck yeah!
I mean, yeah cool.. whatever.
Alright let's do it, let's do it.
Alright.
I'm so f*cking hard right now
Well that's pretty much it, thank you guys so much for watching I hoped you enjoyed the video.
If you did, please give me a thumbs up to let me know, comment, subscribe if you're
not already but otherwise, I'll catch you guys next, Motoki Monday.
By the way guys this is totally fake.
We're actually friends, and this is to make fun of people who make fake videos like this,
but we did match on Tinder..
"Plus, I'm lesbian".
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魯了這麼久,終於在交友軟體配對成功!來深入聊聊天 (Meet My Tinder Date)

30147 分類 收藏
Baran 發佈於 2017 年 6 月 4 日   Sih Jing 翻譯   Sally Hsu 審核

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