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  • When I was six years old,

    當我六歲的時候,

  • I received my gifts.

    我收到了禮物。

  • My first grade teacher had this brilliant idea.

    我一年級的老師有一個很棒的主意。

  • She wanted us to experience receiving gifts

    她想讓我們感受接受禮物

  • but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other.

    同時學習讚美別人的美德。

  • So she had all of us come to the front of the classroom,

    所以她讓我們所有人走到教室前面,

  • and she bought all of us gifts and stacked them in the corner.

    她給我們每個人帶了禮物, 堆在牆角。

  • And she said,

    然後她說:

  • "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other?

    「讓我們站在這裡並讚美對方吧。

  • If you hear your name called,

    如果你聽到你的名字,

  • go and pick up your gift and sit down."

    走上前,領取你的禮物並坐下。」

  • What a wonderful idea, right?

    多棒的主意,對嗎?

  • What could go wrong?

    能出什麼錯?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Well, there were 40 of us to start with,

    開始,有 40 個孩子,

  • and every time I heard someone's name called,

    每一次我聽到別人被叫到名字,

  • I would give out the heartiest cheer.

    我都會送出真摯的讚美。

  • And then there were 20 people left,

    然後剩下 20 個人,

  • and 10 people left,

    10 個人,

  • and five left ...

    5 個人……

  • and three left.

    最後剩下了 3 個人。

  • And I was one of them.

    而我是其中一個。

  • And the compliments stopped.

    讚美停止了。

  • Well, at that moment, I was crying.

    在那個時候,我在哭泣。

  • And the teacher was freaking out.

    老師也不知所措。

  • She was like, "Hey, would anyone say anything nice about these people?"

    她說:「嘿,有任何人願意 說一些這些同學的好話嗎?」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "No one? OK, why don't you go get your gift and sit down.

    「沒人?好吧。那你們 去領取禮物並坐下吧。

  • So behave next year --

    所以明年好好表現,

  • someone might say something nice about you."

    可能會有人說一些你的好話。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Well, as I'm describing this you,

    我向你描述這件事,

  • you probably know I remember this really well.

    你可能會知道我對這件事記憶猶新。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But I don't know who felt worse that day.

    但是我不知道誰感覺更糟糕,

  • Was it me or the teacher?

    我還是我的老師?

  • She must have realized that she turned a team-building event

    她一定意識到了, 她把一個團結合作的活動,

  • into a public roast for three six-year-olds.

    變成了三個 6 歲孩子的尷尬時刻。

  • And without the humor.

    撇開幽默不談,

  • You know, when you see people get roasted on TV,

    你知道當你在電視上 看到別人尷尬的時候,

  • it was funny.

    那很好笑。

  • There was nothing funny about that day.

    那天一點都不好笑。

  • So that was one version of me,

    所以那是一個版本的我,

  • and I would die to avoid being in that situation again --

    我會以死避免那種情況的發生,

  • to get rejected in public again.

    在眾目睽睽中被拒絕。

  • That's one version.

    這是一個版本。

  • Then fast-forward eight years.

    快進 8 年。

  • Bill Gates came to my hometown --

    比爾蓋茨來到我的家鄉──

  • Beijing, China --

    中國北京──

  • to speak,

    做演講。

  • and I saw his message.

    我看到了他的演講,

  • I fell in love with that guy.

    我對他深深的著迷。

  • I thought, wow, I know what I want to do now.

    我認為,哇, 我現在我知道我想做什麼了。

  • That night I wrote a letter to my family

    那個晚上我給我的家人寫了一封信,

  • telling them: "By age 25,

    告訴他們:「在 25 歲之前,

  • I will build the biggest company in the world,

    我會建造世界上最大的公司,

  • and that company will buy Microsoft."

    而且那個公司會買下微軟。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I totally embraced this idea of conquering the world --

    我完全接受了這個征服世界的主意,

  • domination, right?

    統治,對吧。

  • And I didn't make this up, I did write that letter.

    我不是憑空捏造,我真的寫了那封信。

  • And here it is --

    就是這個——

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You don't have to read this through --

    你沒必要看完,

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • This is also bad handwriting, but I did highlight some key words.

    字跡很差, 但是我強調了一些重點詞。

  • You get the idea.

    你會明白。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So ...

    所以……

  • that was another version of me:

    這是另外一個版本的我,

  • one who will conquer the world.

    一個想要征服世界的我。

  • Well, then two years later,

    好吧,兩年後,

  • I was presented with the opportunity to come to the United States.

    我發現了一個來美國的機會,

  • I jumped on it,

    我接受了它,

  • because that was where Bill Gates lived, right?

    因為這是比爾蓋茨生活的地方,對嗎?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I thought that was the start of my entrepreneur journey.

    我認為這是我企業家生涯的開始。

  • Then, fast-forward another 14 years.

    然後,快進 14 年,

  • I was 30.

    我三十歲。

  • Nope, I didn't build that company.

    沒,我沒有建立那家公司。

  • I didn't even start.

    我甚至沒有開始。

  • I was actually a marketing manager for a Fortune 500 company.

    我事實上是一個 500 強企業的營銷經理。

  • And I felt I was stuck;

    我感覺我卡住了,

  • I was stagnant.

    我停滯不前。

  • Why is that?

    為什麼?

  • Where is that 14-year-old who wrote that letter?

    那個寫了那封信的 14 歲的孩子去哪了?

  • It's not because he didn't try.

    不是因為他沒有嘗試。

  • It's because every time I had a new idea,

    是因為每次我有了新的主意,

  • every time I wanted to try something new,

    每次我想嘗試一些新的東西,

  • even at work --

    甚至在工作,

  • I wanted to make a proposal,

    我想提出一個提案,

  • I wanted to speak up in front of people in a group --

    我想在一群人面前說出來,

  • I felt there was this constant battle

    我感覺在 6 歲的我 和 14 歲的我之間

  • between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old.

    有著持續的戰鬥。

  • One wanted to conquer the world --

    一個想征服世界,

  • make a difference --

    做出一些改變,

  • another was afraid of rejection.

    另一個害怕拒絕。

  • And every time that six-year-old won.

    然而每次那個 6 歲的我都贏了。

  • And this fear even persisted after I started my own company.

    這個恐懼甚至持續 到我開始自己的公司。

  • I mean, I started my own company when I was 30 --

    我的意思是,我在 30 歲的時候成立我的公司,

  • if you want to be Bill Gates,

    如果你想當比爾蓋茨,

  • you've got to start sooner or later, right?

    你遲早要開始的,對嗎?

  • When I was an entrepreneur,

    當我是一個企業家的時候,

  • I was presented with an investment opportunity,

    我遇見了一個投資機會,

  • and then I was turned down.

    然後我被拒絕,

  • And that rejection hurt me.

    那次拒絕傷害了我,

  • It hurt me so bad that I wanted to quit right there.

    嚴重到我想當場放棄。

  • But then I thought,

    但是我想,

  • hey, would Bill Gates quit after a simple investment rejection?

    嘿,比爾蓋茨會在一次 簡單的拒絕投資後放棄嗎?

  • Would any successful entrepreneur quit like that?

    有任何成功企業家會像那樣放棄嗎?

  • No way.

    沒有。

  • And this is where it clicked for me.

    這使我茅塞頓開。

  • OK, I can build a better company.

    好,我能夠創立一個更好的公司。

  • I can build a better team or better product,

    我能夠建立一個更好的團隊或產品,

  • but one thing for sure:

    但是有一件事情是確定的:

  • I've got to be a better leader.

    我一定要成為一個更好的領導者。

  • I've got to be a better person.

    我一定要成為一個更好的人。

  • I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore.

    我不能讓那個 6 歲的我 繼續統治我的生活。

  • I have to put him back in his place.

    我要把他壓抑住。

  • So this is where I went online and looked for help.

    所以我上網尋求幫助。

  • Google was my friend.

    谷歌是我的朋友。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I searched, "How do I overcome the fear of rejection?"

    我搜索:「怎麼克服被拒絕的恐懼?」

  • I came up with a bunch of psychology articles

    跳出了很多心理學文章

  • about where the fear and pain are coming from.

    關於恐懼和痛苦的來源。

  • Then I came up with a bunch of "rah-rah" inspirational articles

    然後是一些鼓勵和啟發人心的文章,

  • about "Don't take it personally, just overcome it."

    都在說「不要太在意,克服就好。」

  • Who doesn't know that?

    誰不知道這個?

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But why was I still so scared?

    但是為什麼我還是很害怕?

  • Then I found this website by luck.

    然後我意外找到了這個網站,

  • It's called rejectiontherapy.com.

    叫做拒絕治療法.com (rejectiontherapy.com)

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • "Rejection Therapy" was this game invented by this Canadian entrepreneur.

    「拒絕治療法」是一個加拿大 企業家發明的遊戲,

  • His name is Jason Comely.

    他的名字是杰森.康莉。

  • And basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection,

    主旨就是 30 天,你出門尋找拒絕,

  • and every day get rejected at something,

    每天被某些事情拒絕,

  • and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain.

    最後,你會緩解痛苦。

  • And I loved that idea.

    我很喜歡這個主意。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I said, "You know what? I'm going to do this.

    我說:「你知道嗎?我要像這樣做。

  • And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days."

    而且我會錄下被拒絕 100天。」

  • And I came up with my own rejection ideas,

    我想出了自己被拒絕的主意,

  • and I made a video blog out of it.

    還為此創建了視頻博客。

  • And so here's what I did.

    所以這是我做的,

  • This is what the blog looked like.

    那個博客看起來是這樣的。

  • Day One ...

    第一天……

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • Borrow 100 dollars from a stranger.

    向一個陌生人借 100 美金。

  • So this is where I went to where I was working.

    所以我去了我工作的地方,

  • I came downstairs

    我走下樓,

  • and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk.

    我看見一個強壯的人 坐在一張桌子後面。

  • He looked like a security guard.

    他看起來像是一個保安。

  • So I just approached him.

    所以我接近他,

  • And I was just walking

    我走向他,

  • and that was the longest walk of my life --

    那好像是我人生中最漫長一段路,

  • hair on the back of my neck standing up,

    我脖子後的頭髮豎起來了,

  • I was sweating and my heart was pounding.

    我流著汗,心怦怦地跳。

  • And I got there and said,

    我走到那裡,說:

  • "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?"

    「先生你好, 我能向你借 100 美金嗎?」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And he looked up, he's like, "No."

    他抬起頭,說:「不行。」

  • "Why?"

    「為什麼?」

  • And I just said, "No? I'm sorry."

    我說:「不行?不好意思。」

  • Then I turned around, and I just ran.

    然後我轉身跑著離開了。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I felt so embarrassed.

    我感覺非常尷尬。

  • But because I filmed myself --

    但是因為我錄下了這個經歷,

  • so that night I was watching myself getting rejected,

    所以那個晚上, 我觀看了自己被拒絕,

  • I just saw how scared I was.

    我看到了我自己有多害怕。

  • I looked like this kid in "The Sixth Sense."

    我像是「靈異第六感」裡的孩子。

  • I saw dead people.

    我看見了死人。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • But then I saw this guy.

    但是我看到了那個男人,

  • You know, he wasn't that menacing.

    他並不咄咄逼人。

  • He was a chubby, loveable guy,

    他是一個胖乎乎的可愛的人,

  • and he even asked me, "Why?"

    他甚至問我為什麼,

  • In fact, he invited me to explain myself.

    事實上,他邀請我解釋,

  • And I could've said many things.

    我其實可以說很多事情,

  • I could've explained, I could've negotiated.

    我可以解釋,我可以溝通。

  • I didn't do any of that.

    但是我什麼都沒做,

  • All I did was run.

    我只是跑走了。

  • I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life.

    我感覺,哇, 這就像是我人生的縮影,

  • Every time I felt the slightest rejection,

    每次我感覺到輕微的拒絕,

  • I would just run as fast as I could.

    我就會盡力逃跑。

  • And you know what?

    你知道嗎?

  • The next day, no matter what happens,

    第二天,不管發生了什麼,

  • I'm not going to run.

    我都不會逃跑。

  • I'll stay engaged.

    我會留下來。

  • Day Two: Request a "burger refill."

    第二天:請求一個「漢堡續杯。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • It's when I went to a burger joint,

    當我去一家漢堡店,

  • I finished lunch, and I went to the cashier and said,

    我吃完午餐,走向收銀員,說:

  • "Hi, can I get a burger refill?"

    「你好,我能來一個漢堡續杯嗎?」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • He was all confused, like, "What's a burger refill?"

    他非常疑惑:「什麼是漢堡續杯?」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I said, "Well, it's just like a drink refill but with a burger."

    我說:「就像一個飲料續杯, 只是換成漢堡。」

  • And he said, "Sorry, we don't do burger refill, man."

    他說:「不好意思, 我們不做漢堡續杯。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So this is where rejection happened and I could have run, but I stayed.

    所以這就是當被拒絕, 我可以逃跑,但是我留了下來。

  • I said, "Well, I love your burgers,

    我說:「我喜歡你們的漢堡,

  • I love your joint,

    我喜歡你們的店,

  • and if you guys do a burger refill,

    如果你們能做漢堡續杯,

  • I will love you guys more."

    我會更喜歡你們的。」

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • And he said, "Well, OK, I'll tell my manager about it,

    然後他說: 「好,我會向我的經理匯報的,

  • and maybe we'll do it, but sorry, we can't do this today."

    可能我們會做,但是 不好意思,今天我們沒有辦法。」

  • Then I left.

    然後我走了。

  • And by the way,

    順便說一句,

  • I don't think they've ever done burger refill.

    我不認為他們會有漢堡續杯。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • I think they're still there.

    我覺得他們還是老樣子,

  • But the life and death feeling I was feeling the first time

    但是我在那裡經歷的 生死攸關的感覺,

  • was no longer there,

    已經不在那兒了,

  • just because I stayed engaged --

    只因為我留了下來,

  • because I didn't run.

    因為我沒有逃跑。

  • I said, "Wow, great, I'm already learning things.

    我說:「哇,好棒, 我已經開始吸取教訓了,

  • Great."

    好棒。」

  • And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts.

    然後第三天:索要奧林匹克甜甜圈。

  • This is where my life was turned upside down.

    我的人生就在這裡開始被顛覆。

  • I went to a Krispy Kreme.

    我去了「Krispy Kreme」,

  • It's a doughnut shop

    一個甜甜圈店鋪,

  • in mainly the Southeastern part of the United States.

    主要在美國的東南部。

  • I'm sure they have some here, too.

    我確定這裡也有一些。

  • And I went in,

    我走進店裡,說:

  • I said, "Can you make me doughnuts that look like Olympic symbols?

    「你能為我做一些長得像 奧林匹克標誌的甜甜圈嗎?

  • Basically, you interlink five doughnuts together ... "

    基本上就是五個甜甜圈……」

  • I mean there's no way they could say yes, right?

    我覺得他們一定不會說好,

  • The doughnut maker took me so seriously.

    甜甜圈製作者把我當真了。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • So she put out paper,

    所以她展開一張紙,

  • started jotting down the colors and the rings,

    開始記下顏色和五環,

  • and is like, "How can I make this?"

    思考該怎麼制作,

  • And then 15 minutes later,

    然後 15 分鐘後,

  • she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings.

    她帶著一個像 奧林匹克五環的盒子走出來,

  • And I was so touched.

    我非常感動,

  • I just couldn't believe it.

    我覺得難以置信。

  • And that video got over five million views on Youtube.

    那個視頻在 Youtube 上 獲得了超過 5 百萬的瀏覽量。

  • The world couldn't believe that either.

    整個世界也無法相信。

  • (Laughter)

    (笑聲)

  • You know, because of that I was in newspapers,

    你知道,因為這個,我上了報紙,

  • in talk shows, in everything.

    脫口秀,各種媒體。

  • And I became famous.

    我出名了。

  • A lot of people started writing emails to me

    很多人開始向我寫郵件

  • and saying, "What you're doing is awesome."

    並說:「你做的事情太棒了。」

  • But you know, fame and notoriety did not do anything to me.

    但是知名度並不是我想要的。

  • What I really wanted to do was learn,

    我真正想要的是學習

  • and to change myself.

    和改變自己。

  • So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection

    所以我把我剩下的被拒絕 100天

  • into this playground --

    變成了遊樂場,

  • into this research project.

    變成了研究項目。

  • I wanted to see what I could learn.

    我想知道我能學到什麼,

  • And then I learned a lot of things.

    我學到了很多事情,

  • I discovered so many secrets.

    我發現了很多秘密。

  • For