Oh! Thanks Katie!

噢！謝謝你凱蒂！

Oh Katie. I'm having people over to my house this weekend and I would LOVE it if you would come!

對了凱蒂，我這週末要邀一堆人來我家，你如果能來的話我會超開心！

Please, please, please?

拜託拜託拜託？

Yeah, I don't have any plans for the weekend, I'd love to!

好啊，我週末沒有排行程，我很樂意

Great. Oh! And, before you come, let's head to Costco.

太好咯，喔還有，來我們家之前，我們一起去趟好市多吧

I want to get one of those 40-pound hams.

我想要買那個四十磅的火腿

Hey, do you guys actually like me?

欸，你們大家真的喜歡我嗎？

What? Yeah!

什麼？當然！

Okay. I know this sounds crazy. But sometimes it feels like you just use me for my Costco membership.

這也許聽起來有點怪，但有時候我感覺你們跟我當朋友只是想用我的好市多會員卡

What?! Katie. That is crazy.

什麼？凱蒂你想太多了！

We love hanging out with you and eating free samples.

我們超喜歡跟你混在一起吃免費的試吃啊

And going to town on some bulk hummus.

還有大吃超大罐的鷹嘴豆泥

Or eating cafeteria chicken bake.

或吃自助餐廳的雞肉捲

Everything you've just mentioned happens at a Costco!

你們剛說的每件事都是在好市多發生的！

God, is that the only reason we hang out?

難道這是我們唯一會在一起的理由嗎？

No. I'm sorry you feel that way, Costco. Or... Katie? Katie!

不是，我很抱歉你會這麼想，好市多。呃還是⋯⋯凱地？凱蒂。

Katie. Yeah.

凱蒂，對

Look, how about after work we go to a park like old times?

好啦，不然我們下班去公園怎麼樣？跟往常一樣？

We've never done that.

我們根本從來沒去過

Oh hey, Grant, just hypothetically, theoretically,

欸，葛朗特，我假設性的問你一下

Which exact park was it that you were thinking of?

你剛剛在想的公園是哪一座啊？

Well, I was thinking the one by the strip mall.

我是想去商場旁天那座

Oh!

喔！

The strip mall with the Costco?

裡面有好市多那個嗎？

Why yes it is.

沒錯！

Wouldn't it be like, dumb and ironic if we went to the Costco after the park?

呃，我們如果去完公園去好市多，難道不會又蠢又諷刺嗎

Oh my God, that is so dumb and ironic.

喔我的天，真的超蠢又超諷刺欸

No!

我不要！

Fine. If you don't want to go to the park, we can go see a movie.

好啦，你不想去公園的話，我們可以去看電影

Really?

真的？

You just want to hang out and see a movie?

你想要一起去看電影？

Yes. In fact, I'd like to see eight movies.

對啊，事實上，我想要看八部電影

They sell those bulk passes at Costco.

好市多有賣那種一大本的電影票

Costco! Huh how 'bout that!

好市多！怎麼樣哇～

No! You can't just use me for bulk goods!

不行！你們不能因為大分量產品而利用我！

Fine. If we can't go to Costco, do you guys want to check out the Big Easy Bar?

好啦，如果我們不能去好市多，你們大家想去看看那家 Big Easy 酒吧嗎？

Yes. That sounds like so much more fun and I've never been there.

對，這聽起來好玩多了，而且我還沒去過

Oh, no. I was talking to them.

噢，不是耶，我是在跟他們講話

The core five.

核心五人

You understand.

你懂的

Core Five!

核心五人！

Core Five! See I can do it too, okay?

核心五人！我也會好嗎？

There's no reason that it just has to be, just add a six!

沒有理由只能——就加一個六啊！

Besides Katie, how would you even get there?

而且凱蒂，你要怎麼到那裡？

Our cars only have five seats.

我們的車只有五個座位

I could drive myself!

我可以自己開車！

See, now you're dealing with logistics and it's ruined.

你看，你開始討論物流然後一切都被破壞了

Fucking God damn it!

去你 X 的 X！

Katie, calm down.

凱蒂，冷靜

Have something to drink!

喝點東西吧！

Here's 60 beers!

這裡有 60 瓶啤酒！

Or a ton of chocolate milk!

或超大罐巧克力牛奶！

Or a gallon of cold medecin.

或一加侖的感冒糖漿

Or an entire wheel of brie.

或一整塊布利乾酪

Or a school of shrimp.

或一大盤蝦

No. No. No. NO!

不不不不不！！！！！！！

I'm not your little Costco bitch, okay?

我不是你的好市多僕人好嗎！

I'm as cool as all you motherfuckers

我跟你們這群廢物都一樣酷！

and I deserve an invite!

我值得被邀請！！

I'm fun as hell!

我超！有！趣！

Okay?

好嗎？

Katie, you're sweating.

凱蒂，你在流汗耶

Here.

給你

No! Katie no!

不！凱蒂！不！

Die! DIE!

死！去死！！

She's crazy! She's crazy! Trip her up!

她瘋了！她瘋了！把她絆倒！

Trip her up!

把她絆倒！

This is why we don't invite you places.

這就是為什麼我們都不邀請你

Alright, let's go to Sam's Club.

好啦，我們去山姆會員店吧（註：山姆會員店是美國零售商沃爾瑪公司旗下的倉儲式商店）

Oh man.

蛤好吧

Hasn't Katie done this before?

凱蒂之前是不是也這樣？

Yeah I feel like she's died.

嗯，我覺得他可能死了

Hi, it's Katie Marovitch from CollegeHumor.

嗨，我是 CollegeHumor 頻道的 Katie Marovitch

If you want to subscribe, click over here.

如果你想訂閱我們的頻道，可以點這裡

And for more fun stuff, click over here.

想看更多好玩的東西，點這裡

And if you want access to CollegeHumor's secret site,

如果你想開啟 CollegeHumor 的秘密網站

make sure you send your social security number,

請私訊我們你的社會保險號碼

your credit card information,

你的信用卡資料

and you mother's maiden name in a private message to me.

還有你媽媽結婚前的姓