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  • I think that everyone at some point in their life should work in a fast-food or retail job.

    我覺得每個人一生中的某些階段,都應該在速食店或零售商店工作

  • Not to improve their work ethic or anything,

    並非要增進工作倫理或其他能力

  • but so that everyone knows what it's like to have that kind of job.

    這樣一來,每個人都知道在裡頭工作的感受如何

  • They wouldn't work in fast-food their whole lives,

    他們不會一輩子都在速食店工作

  • maybe just like, for six months.

    可能只是工作半年左右

  • Just so they get a feel for it.

    去體會在裡頭工作的滋味

  • So with that, let's talk about the time when I worked in fast food.

    那麼,我要來談談我在速食店工作的故事

  • I used to work at a very small, local, sandwich shop.

    我曾經在鄉下一間非常小的潛艇堡店工作

  • I don't know if any of you guys heard of it, it's called SOOUBWAY?

    不曉得你們有沒有聽過,它叫Subway

  • Our spokesperson was in the news recently.

    他的代言人才剛上新聞

  • I don't know if you guys look at the news.

    我不曉得你們有沒有看到那則新聞,

  • Did you hear he got beat up in jail?

    知道他在監獄被痛毆一番?

  • I kinda want to meet the person who beat up Jared, more than Jared.

    比起Jared,我更想想認識痛毆他的人

  • Not in person, we wouldn't meet in person, obviously.

    當然不是當面,我們不太有機會碰頭

  • But like, he would be behind bars,

    但會像是他在牢房內

  • and I would just look at the guy who beat up my spokesperson.

    我在外面瞧瞧這位痛毆Subway代言人的傢伙

  • How many people get to say that they beat up a fast-food icon, who was also a pedophile?

    有多少人可以毒打有戀童癖的速食店代言人?

  • Only one, and it's that guy.

    就只有他

  • Okay but seriously guys,

    好,認真說起來

  • working at Subway was probably one of the most easiest jobs out there.

    在Subway工作應該算是最輕鬆的工作之一

  • I don't know what I'm about to complain about it to you guys.

    輕鬆到我不曉得能抱怨什麼

  • We got free cookies!

    我們能拿到免費餅乾!

  • And you know the comic with the Subway's in Hell?

    記得漫畫〈地獄裡的Subway〉

  • I was actually working at Subway when I made that comic.

    我在Subway工作時創作了那個漫畫

  • I just think it had sort of a little bit of value to it.

    我覺得這是在速食店工作的一點價值吧

  • You see, the owners, who were husband and wife...

    經營者是一對夫妻

  • Can you believe it?

    你能相信嗎?

  • ...of the Subway I worked at, owned two stores.

    他們經營兩家Subway,我在其中一家工作

  • One of the Subway stores was in a Walmart, on an Indian Reservation,

    其中一家店在印第安保留地的沃爾瑪內

  • 'cause we have those in Arizona,

    亞瑞桑納州有一堆保留地

  • and the other Subway...

    而另外一家Subway

  • ...was the Subway I worked at.

    就是我曾工作的地方

  • And since the Walmart store was always busy, the owners would spend 99% of their time at that store.

    由於在沃爾瑪的分店總是很忙碌,那對夫妻老闆99%的時間都在那家分店

  • So I didn't really have a boss, most of the time.

    所以大部分時間,我沒有老闆

  • On the off-chance the owners did show up,

    他們偶爾出現

  • they would just pick up some food and then they would make sure I was making sandwiches the right way.

    會外帶一些食物,並確保我按照步驟製作潛艇堡

  • And every time I made a sandwich in front of them, they would always find something wrong with it, without fail.

    每次在他們面前做潛艇堡,他們總是能找到不對的部分

  • FEMALE OWNER: You put on too many olives.

    女老闆:你放太多橄欖了

  • Do you know, according to the Subway formula,

    你知道照著Subway的食譜,

  • you're only supposed to put on 8 olives on a foot long?

    1呎(或12吋)的麵包上只能放8個橄欖?

  • EIGHT!

    8個!

  • One for every other bite.

    一口一個!

  • That's just ridiculous! Can you imagine someone just counting out 8 olives?

    簡直太誇張!你能想像店員做潛艇堡時,一邊在算8個橄欖嗎?

  • Nobody does that!

    根本沒有人這樣做!

  • I usually worked the closing shift,

    我通常做晚班,會負責關店

  • and at the end of the night, we would turn the alarm and we would have 60 seconds to get out of the store.

    關店前要啟動保全,我們必須要在一分鐘內要出去

  • But one time, I had the opening shift.

    但是有一次,我值早班要負責開店

  • So I unlocked the door to get in with my key, and the alarm went,

    我開門時,警鈴響了

  • *Beep*

  • *Beep*

  • meaning I had 60 seconds to turn it off.

    表示我六十秒內要關掉警鈴

  • No big deal, right?

    應該一點也不難,對吧?

  • I turned the alarm on all the time when I was closing.

    因為我關店時都會啟動他

  • So I go to the little control panel, and I type in the code,

    所以我走到控制板前,並輸入密碼

  • and nothing happens.

    但什麼也沒發生

  • The beeping is still there and the clock is still ticking down.

    依然嗶聲大響,時間繼續在倒數

  • So I go, "Okay, I'm going to press each button very carefully.

    我深呼吸一口,「好,這次我要非常小心的按密碼,

  • I'm going to make sure each button makes a beep when I press it."

    要確定每按一個按鈕,都有嗶聲。」

  • *Beep*

  • *Beep*

  • *Long Beep*

    嗶~~~

  • Nothing still happens.

    警鈴依然嗶嗶叫

  • So I go, "OKAY! I'm going to make sure to press each button, VERY CAREFULLY!"

    我再深呼吸一口氣,「沒關係,這一次我會非、常、小、心的按每一個按鈕。」

  • And I start thinking, did they change the pass code without telling me?

    我開始在想,「他們是不是換了密碼,卻沒告訴我?」

  • Was the only pass code I know, so we're just gonna try it again.

    但這是我唯一知道的密碼,所以再試了一次

  • And I press each button, very carefully.

    於是我非常小心的重按一次密碼

  • *Beep*

  • *Beep*

  • *Long Beep*

    嗶~~~

  • And it goes quiet...

    突然安靜下來

  • (Alarm Sound) AND THEN THE ALARM GOES OFF!

    然後鈴聲大作

  • I still had, like, 20 seconds left,

    我還剩二十秒

  • but I guess when you get it wrong 3 times, it automatically assumes that you're a burglar.

    但我猜如果按錯三次,系統自動認定你是竊賊

  • (Alarm Sound) So while the alarm is going off,

    (警鈴聲)所以當警鈴繼續作響時

  • I look on the contact sheet for the owner's cell phone number,

    我查看一下通訊錄表單,找到老闆的手機號碼

  • I step outside, I call him, and he doesn't pick up.

    我走出去打給他,他沒接

  • (Alarm Sound) So I go back inside, find the number for the other Subway store,

    (警鈴聲)所以我回到店裡,找到另一家店的號碼

  • they open an hour before we do,

    他們比我們早一個小時開店

  • Someone picks up with their stupid voice,

    某人接起電話,用很愚蠢的聲音說,

  • "Oh, thank you for calling Subway, I'm...

    「歡迎光臨Subway,我是

  • (Gibberish)

    (快速不清的話)

  • ...how may I help you?"

    需要什麼服務呢?」

  • And I go, "Hey, is Mike there?"

    「請問Mike在嗎?」

  • That's not his real name guys, don't worry.

    這不是他的本名,別擔心

  • And they go, "Um, just a minute."

    她說,「稍等一下。」

  • Yeah, sure, I have all the time in the world. The cops might be on their way, but take your time.

    還有時間可以等?警察可能已經在過來的路上!好吧,你就盡管慢慢來吧

  • So, Mike picks up.

    Mike終於接電話

  • MIKE: Hello?

    Mike!你好

  • JAMES: Hey Mike, this is James. Uh, what's the pass code for the alarm?

    James!哈囉,Mike,我是James,警報的密碼是多少?

  • MIKE: Who is this?

    Mike:你是誰?

  • JAMES: It's James. What's the passcode?

    James:我是James,密碼是多少?

  • MIKE: What are you doing there James?

    Mike:你在店裡做什麼,James?

  • JAMES: WHY AREN'T YOU ANSWERING THE QUESTION?

    James:你為什麼不回答問題?

  • I have the opening shift.

    我要開店

  • MIKE: Is the alarm going off?

    Mike:警鈴響了嗎?

  • JAMES: (Alarm Sound) Yeah. No one told me the new code.

    James:(警鈴聲)對,沒有人跟我講新密碼

  • MIKE: Yeah, we changed it. It's the last 4 digits of your social security number.

    Mike:我們更換了密碼,新密碼是你社會安全號碼後四碼

  • JAMES: Oh, oh, okay. Thanks Mike.

    James:好謝囉,Mike

  • I DON'T KNOW MY SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER!

    我不知道我的社會安全號碼!

  • So I finally get the alarm off,

    我終於關掉警報

  • no one showed up, thankfully.

    很幸運警察沒有出現

  • Which, I actually don't know if that's a good thing or not,

    其實,我不知道這是好事還是壞事

  • now that I say it out loud.

    現在不小心被我說出來了

  • We did have a store manager who would, like, make the schedule and sometimes tell us,

    我們有一個店長,會排值班表和跟我們說

  • "Hey, can you guys do a better job at...

    「你們可以工作時認真一點嗎」

  • your job?"

    之類的話

  • But other than that, she was cool!

    除此之外,她人很好

  • She watches my videos and so do her little brothers,

    她常看我的影片,她弟弟們也是

  • They're big fans. Shout out to Ivan and Andy.

    他們是我的頭號粉絲,為Ivan和Andy歡呼

  • Those are the brothers.

    那是她弟弟們的名字

  • So get this, at Subway, you only work with one other person.

    在Subway,你只會和另一個人一起工作

  • Just you and them in an empty Subway for 5 hours.

    只有你們兩人在空蕩蕩的店裡待五小時

  • I mean we weren't, like, empty all the time. Okay?

    不是永遠都空蕩蕩好嗎?

  • And when you're not making sandwiches, you have other stuff to do like,

    我們沒有在做潛艇堡時,我們會做其他事像

  • stocking the chips or...

    補架上的洋芋片或......

  • ...we had stuff to do.

    其他事情

  • But okay, we did watch a lot of Netflix and do homework, so I mean...

    我們很常用Netflix看影片和做功課,所以我指......

  • (Gibberish)

    (快速不清的話)

  • That other person you worked with, would make or break your entire shift.

    同時段一起工作的同事,決定了上班的好壞

  • It wasn't the annoying customers. I kinda got used to annoying customers.

    並不是惱人的顧客,因為我已經習慣了

  • So I worked with a lot of crappy people.

    我和一群奇怪的人一起工作過

  • And I also worked with a lot of people who I would probably never become friends with

    很多一起工作過的人,我可能幾乎不會和他們做朋友,

  • except in a work setting.

    要不是因為工作的話

  • You see, you got to understand the type of people who got jobs at Subway.

    現在,你必須了解到底是什麼樣的人會在Subway工作

  • Potheads.

    他們吸大麻

  • Most of them were potheads.

    很多都吸大麻

  • AND SOME OF THEM WERE REALLY COOL!

    有一些則非常酷!

  • I'm just gonna go over a couple of the characters that I worked with.

    接下來,我要講一些和我共事過的朋友

  • There was Tyler, I freakin love this guy. He smoked a lot of weed.

    我超愛Tyler,他抽超多大麻

  • He actually told me what vaping was, and he got me into Clash of Clans.

    他告訴我電子菸是什麼,還讓我迷上《部落衝突》

  • I actually mentioned him and his girlfriend in my riddles video.

    我在另一部影片中有提到他和他的女友

  • I don't know if I ever told him that.

    但不確定有沒有和他講過

  • And of course I have to mention Corey, he was cool.

    然後我一定要提Corey,他超酷的

  • We watched "How To Get Away With Murderer" on Netflix,

    我們一起看《逍遙法外》的影集

  • and I've also hung outside with him outside of work.

    下班後我也會和他出去

  • What him and Tyler had in common is that they would actually do their job,

    Tyler和Corey的共通點是,他們都很認真做他們的工作

  • Which you got to appreciate.

    感謝他們罩我

  • Then there was this guy.

    另外,還有一個傢伙

  • And get this,

    你知道嗎?

  • who was also named Jared. And he was fat!

    他叫Jared,然後他超胖

  • I KNOW, RIGHT?

    很驚訝,對吧?

  • He's like... Jared, but before!

    他就像減肥前的代言人Jared

  • He loved Marvel and that's, like, the only thing he would talk about.

    他很愛漫威,也是他唯一會聊的話題

  • I can say these things. He dosen't watch my videos.

    我可以這樣說是因為,他沒有看我的影片

  • There's Sarah. She was cool. She made me a bread bowl,

    Sarah也很酷,她做了濃湯麵包盅給我

  • and her boyfriend, Jay.

    她男朋友是Jay

  • He talked about chacras and...

    他會聊查克拉和

  • ...third eyes, he was...

    第三隻眼的話題,他非常......

  • interesting.

    特別

  • And also, there's Anthony. He's cool.

    還有Anthony,他也很酷

  • What's up Anthony!

    嗨,Anthony!

  • For the Hundred & Thousand sprinkles video,

    有關彩色小糖球(Hundred & Thousand為品牌名稱)的影片

  • I actually went back to Subway to use their scale because I knew they had one,

    因為我知道店裡有一台秤,所以回去店裡借用拍攝

  • and we counted 500 sprinkles again just to be more accurate for the Hundred & Thousand,

    為了更精確,我們重新數了500個小糖球

  • and Anthony helped me count.

    Anthony幫我完成這個任務

  • Instead of working.

    然後沒有在工作

  • I mean, at least he got paid...

    我是指,至少他還有拿薪水......

  • ...minimum wage for it.

    雖然是最低工資

  • So 2 more stories, before I go.

    結束前,還有兩個小故事

  • One time...

    有一次

  • Jared asked to take out this pile of trash,

    Jared請我幫忙丟一堆垃圾

  • and I was like, "Oh, okay, I'll just put this pile of trash in the dumpster."

    我心想,「好吧,我就把它們丟到大垃圾桶裡。」

  • And as I was taking it out, I saw that there was a chip poster in the pile.

    去丟垃圾的路上,我發現有一張海報

  • And I thought, "This is too cool to throw away. I'm going to keep it."

    我心想,「這海報蠻好看的,丟掉太可惜了,不如留下來。」

  • So I took it home with me, and then the next day, when I went in,

    我便把海報帶回家。隔天當我走進店裡時

  • people were saying, "Oh, where's the chip poster?

    大夥議論紛紛,「那張洋芋片海報在哪裡?

  • We can't find the chip poster! We ha-

    到處都找不到......

  • We haven't seen it anywhere!"

    去哪裡呢?」

  • And I'm thinking,

    我心裡一愣

  • (Whispers) "I have the poster."

    (竊竊私語)在我這裡

  • I decide not to tell anyone that I had the poster,

    我決定不告訴其他人

  • and it's still hanging up in my room.

    那張海報還貼在我房間裡

  • (Whispers) Sorry boss if you're finding out about this now.

    (輕聲細語)老闆,抱歉啦!現在才讓你知道事實

  • Okay, then the other story,

    好,跳到另一個故事

  • I was working with the manager and we were just making sandwiches like usual,

    我和經理一起工作,像平常一樣做潛艇堡

  • and I noticed that when we toasted a sandwich, it would burn the paper a little on the edges.

    我注意到烤麵包的烘焙紙被燒掉一小塊

  • "That probably shouldn't be happening."

    「這不應該發生阿!」

  • So then a customer asks for just bacon toasted.

    接著,有一位客人要求只烤培根

  • And the boss lady put some bacon on paper, and then puts it in the toaster.

    女經理就把一如往常的,將培根放在烘焙紙上,放進去烤箱

  • And we don't have a setting for just bacon.

    但烤箱並沒有烤培根的設定

  • So then when she opens the toaster,

    所以當她打開烤箱時

  • There was a fire, on the bacon!

    發現培根著火了

  • So then she starts to wack it with the little, metal, tray thing,

    她開始搧動金屬烤網

  • but all she ended up doing was fanning the flames, making the fire bigger.

    但只是搧風點火,讓火勢更大

  • *Fire Sound*

    著火聲

  • "Uh, you got this, right?"

    「你沒問題吧?」

  • Then I went in the back and I got the fire extinguisher and I actually used it!

    接著,我到後方拿滅火器,然後真的「用滅火器」來撲滅火勢

  • I single-handedly saved that Subway!

    我一人拯救了整間Subway

  • Wait.

    等等

  • What have I done?

    我做了什麼?

  • BOSS LADY: Is it okay if the bacon's a little crispy?

    女經理:希望您不介意培根有點過酥

  • And has nitrogen and carbon dioxide stuff on it?

    還佐碳氮化合物?

  • Wow, I didn't even mention a single bad customer experience.

    我居然沒有提到任何一個惱人的顧客服務經驗

  • Well, I don't want the video to be too long

    但我也不想要一部影片太長

  • I should make a part 2.

    我來做第二集好了

  • I'm gonna make a part 2 and it's just gonna be stories about annoying customers that I had to deal with.

    第二集的主題會是我服務過的奧客

  • And if anyone I used to work with is watching, and I didn't mention you,

    假如你和我工作過,但我沒有提到你

  • It's because I hate you.

    那是因為我討厭你!

I think that everyone at some point in their life should work in a fast-food or retail job.

我覺得每個人一生中的某些階段,都應該在速食店或零售商店工作

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