who went down to Africa in the 1900s.

他們在1900年代南下非洲。

They were sent down to find if there was any opportunity

他們被派遣去調查那裡

for selling shoes,

是否有賣鞋子商機。

and they wrote telegrams back to Manchester.

在他們發回曼徹斯特的電報中，

And one of them wrote,

一個人寫著：＂毫無商機，停止計畫。

"Situation hopeless. Stop. They don't wear shoes."

他們不穿鞋子。＂

And the other one wrote,

另一個人寫著：＂大好商機！

"Glorious opportunity. They don't have any shoes yet."

他們都沒穿鞋子！＂

(Laughter)

（笑聲）

Now, there's a similar situation in the classical music world,

在古典音樂的世界也有類似的情況，

because there are some people who think that classical music is dying.

因為有人認為

And there are some of us who think you ain't seen nothing yet.

古典音樂正在消逝。

And rather than go into statistics and trends,

有些人則認為最好的還沒出現呢。

and tell you about all the orchestras that are closing,

我不想引用統計數字、趨勢圖

and the record companies that are folding,

來告訴你們哪些交響樂團將要結束，

I thought we should do an experiment tonight.

還有哪些唱片公司快要關閉。

Actually, it's not really an experiment, because I know the outcome.

今晚我們要來做個實驗，一個實驗。

(Laughter)

事實上，也不算是個實驗，因為我已知道結果。

But it's like an experiment.

但像是個實驗。在我們開始之前--

Now, before we start --

（笑聲）

(Laughter)

-- 在我們開始之前，讓我們先做兩件事情。

Before we start, I need to do two things.

第一，請回想一位七歲小孩

One is I want to remind you of what a seven-year-old child

在彈鋼琴時的樣子。

sounds like when he plays the piano.

你家的小孩可能會像這樣。

Maybe you have this child at home.

就像這樣彈鋼琴。

He sounds something like this.

(鋼琴聲)

(Music)

有人看過這樣子彈琴的小孩。

(Music ends)

如果他練習了一年，繼續上鋼琴課，現在他八歲了，

I see some of you recognize this child.

他會像我這樣彈鋼琴。

Now, if he practices for a year and takes lessons, he's now eight

(鋼琴聲)

and he sounds like this.

然後又練習一年，繼續上課，現在他九歲了。

(Music)

(鋼琴聲)

(Music ends)

然後他再練習一年，繼續上課，現在他十歲了。

He practices for another year and takes lessons -- he's nine.

(鋼琴聲)

(Music)

然後他們就不練了。

(Music ends)

(笑聲)

Then he practices for another year and takes lessons -- now he's 10.

(掌聲)

(Music)

如果你再等等，再等一年。

(Music ends)

你會聽到這樣的鋼琴聲：

At that point, they usually give up.

(鋼琴聲)

(Laughter)

你可能想不到他會彈出這樣的音樂，

(Applause)

突然間他變得有熱情、陶醉、

Now, if you'd waited for one more year, you would have heard this.

投入、有個新老師、步入青春期、或其他的各種可能。

(Music)

事實上只有減少律動的次數。

(Music ends)

你看，他第一次彈鋼琴時，

Now, what happened was not maybe what you thought,

每個音符動一下。

which is, he suddenly became passionate, engaged,

(鋼琴聲)

involved, got a new teacher, he hit puberty, or whatever it is.

每二個音符動一下。

What actually happened was the impulses were reduced.

(鋼琴聲)

You see, the first time, he was playing with an impulse on every note.

看著我的頭就知道了。

(Music)

(笑聲)

And the second, with an impulse every other note.

九歲的小孩，九歲的小孩

(Music)

每四個音符動一下。

You can see it by looking at my head.

(鋼琴課)

(Laughter)

十歲的孩子，每八個音符動一下。

The nine-year-old put an impulse on every four notes.

(鋼琴聲)

(Music)

十一歲的孩子，整個樂句動一下。

The 10-year-old, on every eight notes.

(鋼琴聲)

(Music)

我也不知道我怎麼會變成這個姿勢。

And the 11-year-old, one impulse on the whole phrase.

(笑聲)

(Music)

我也沒想到要去移動我的肩膀，移動我的身體。

I don't know how we got into this position.

不是我，是音樂推著我移動。

(Laughter)

所以我叫它為半個屁股的演奏。

I didn't say, "I'm going to move my shoulder over, move my body."

(鋼琴聲)

No, the music pushed me over,

另一個半個屁股的演奏。

which is why I call it one-buttock playing.

(鋼琴聲)

(Music)

有一位男士曾看過我的演講

It can be the other buttock.

當時我正在指導一位年青的鋼琴家。

(Music)

他是俄亥俄州一家公司的董事長。

You know, a gentleman was once watching a presentation I was doing,

當時我正在指導一位年青的鋼琴家

when I was working with a young pianist.

我告訴他，＂你的問題在於你彈鋼琴時穩穩的坐在屁股上。

He was the president of a corporation in Ohio.

你應該當個半個屁股的演奏家。＂

I was working with this young pianist, and said,

當他演奏時我這樣地移動他的身體。

"The trouble with you is you're a two-buttock player.

突然間音樂飛了起來。音樂飛了起來。

You should be a one-buttock player."

當觀眾聽出變化時都非常驚呀。

I moved his body while he was playing.

接著我就收到這位男士的來信。

And suddenly, the music took off. It took flight.

他說，＂我深受感動。

The audience gasped when they heard the difference.

我一回去就把整個公司

Then I got a letter from this gentleman.

變成半個屁股的公司。

He said, "I was so moved.

(笑聲)

I went back and I transformed my entire company

我還要說另一件與你們有關的事。

into a one-buttock company."

這裡大約有1,600人。

(Laughter)

我預估其中大概有45位

Now, the other thing I wanted to do is to tell you about you.

是非常熱愛古典樂。

There are 1,600 people, I believe.

你極為喜愛古典樂。你的收音機總是調到古典音樂頻道。

My estimation is that probably 45 of you

你車上放的是古典樂ＣＤ，你會去聽音樂會。

are absolutely passionate about classical music.

你的孩子也會演奏樂器。

You adore classical music. Your FM is always on that classical dial.

你無法想像沒有古典樂的日子。

You have CDs in your car, and you go to the symphony,

這是第一種類型；人數相當少的一種類型。

your children are playing instruments.

還有另一種類型，人數較多的一種類型。

You can't imagine your life without classical music.

他們"不排斥"古典音樂。

That's the first group, quite small.

(笑聲)

Then there's another bigger group.

在你忙了一天回到家時

The people who don't mind classical music.

倒一杯紅酒，翹起腿。

(Laughter)

來點韋瓦弟當做背景音樂也無妨。

You know, you've come home from a long day,

(笑聲)

and you take a glass of wine, and you put your feet up.

這是第二種類型。

A little Vivaldi in the background doesn't do any harm.

再來是第三種類型。

That's the second group.

這些人從來不聽古典音樂。

Now comes the third group:

古典音樂從來不是你們生活的一部份。

people who never listen to classical music.

你們可能像在機場吸二手煙一樣從別處聽到，但是--

It's just simply not part of your life.

(笑聲)

You might hear it like second-hand smoke at the airport ...

--可能聽到一些歌劇阿伊達中的進行曲

(Laughter)

在你進入機場大廳時候。除此之外你就沒聽過古典樂。

-- and maybe a little bit of a march from "Aida"

這一種類型人數應該最多。

when you come into the hall.

最後人數非常少的一種類型。

But otherwise, you never hear it.

他們自認是音痴。

That's probably the largest group.

相當多的人自認是音痴。

And then there's a very small group.

事實上我聽過很多人說，＂我的先生是個音痴。＂

These are the people who think they're tone-deaf.

(笑聲)

Amazing number of people think they're tone-deaf.

其實你不可能是音痴。没有人是音痴。

Actually, I hear a lot, "My husband is tone-deaf."

如果你是音痴，你就無法換檔開車，

(Laughter)

如果你開的是一台手排車。

Actually, you cannot be tone-deaf.

你就無法分辦

Nobody is tone-deaf.

那人是德州來的還是羅馬來的

If you were tone-deaf, you couldn't change the gears

在你聽電話時。聽電話時。所以當你媽媽打電話給你時

on your car, in a stick shift car.

透過那老舊的話筒，當她說＂哈囉＂時，

You couldn't tell the difference between

你不僅知道她是誰，你還知道她當時的心情如何。

somebody from Texas and somebody from Rome.

你有神奇的耳。每個人都有神奇的耳朵。

And the telephone. The telephone.

沒有人是音癡。

If your mother calls

但我要告訴你。我無法再忍受下去

on the miserable telephone, she calls and says, "Hello,"

竟然有如此巨大的差距介於

you not only know who it is, you know what mood she's in.

熱愛古典音樂的人，

You have a fantastic ear. Everybody has a fantastic ear.

以及與古典音樂毫無關係的人之間。

So nobody is tone-deaf.

被當成音痴的人，現在起再也不是音痴。

But I tell you what.

即使這三種類型之間的差距是這麼的大。

It doesn't work for me to go on with this thing,

我絶不罷手，除非在這個房間的每個人，

with such a wide gulf between those who understand,

樓下的每個人，Aspen的每個人，以及其他所有正在觀看的人，

love and are passionate about classical music,

都能熱愛古典音樂並懂得古典音樂。

and those who have no relationship to it at all.

這就是我們想達成的目標。

The tone-deaf people, they're no longer here.

你們可以感受到在我心中没有絲毫的懷疑，

But even between those three categories,

你們可以從我的臉上看出我確信這一定會成功。

it's too wide a gulf.

領導者的特質之一

So I'm not going to go on until every single person in this room,

是他永遠確信他所帶領的人

downstairs and in Aspen, and everybody else looking,

有能力去實行他的理想。

will come to love and understand classical music.

試想馬丁路德說，＂我有一個夢。

So that's what we're going to do.

不過，我懷疑他們做得到。＂

Now, you notice that there is not the slightest doubt in my mind

(笑聲)

that this is going to work, if you look at my face, right?

我要彈一首蕭邦的曲子。

It's one of the characteristics of a leader that he not doubt

這是一首蕭邦美麗的序曲。應該有人聽過。

for one moment the capacity of the people he's leading

(鋼琴聲)

to realize whatever he's dreaming.

猜猜接下來會發生甚麼事?

Imagine if Martin Luther King had said, "I have a dream.

當我剛開始彈時，你們心想，＂這音樂多美啊。＂

Of course, I'm not sure they'll be up to it."

(鋼琴聲)

(Laughter)

明年夏天我不想

All right. So I'm going to take a piece of Chopin.

再到相同的地點渡假。＂

This is a beautiful prelude by Chopin.

(笑聲)

Some of you will know it.

很好玩，是不是?看看這些思緒是如何

(Music)

飄進你的腦袋。

Do you know what I think probably happened here?

當然--

When I started, you thought, "How beautiful that sounds."

(掌聲)

(Music)

--當然，首子如果太長而你又忙了一天，

"I don't think we should go to the same place

你可能會真的睡著了。

for our summer holidays next year."

你的同伴會戳你

(Laughter)

說，＂起來！有點文化修養！＂這會使你覺得更糟。

It's funny, isn't it?

但你有没有想過聽古典音樂會讓你想睡的原因

It's funny how those thoughts kind of waft into your head.

不在於你，而在於我們？

And of course --

當我在演奏時，有沒有人在想，

(Applause)

＂為什麼他要一直動來動去？＂

Of course, if the piece is long and you've had a long day,

如果演奏時動著我的頭，你肯定會理解。

you might actually drift off.

(鋼琴聲)

Then your companion will dig you in the ribs

從此以後，你每次聽到古典音樂

and say, "Wake up! It's culture!" And then you feel even worse.

就能知道是否有聽到那些顫動。

(Laughter)

讓我們來看看這到底是怎麼回事。

But has it ever occurred to you that the reason you feel sleepy

我彈的是Ｂ。這是個Ｂ。下一個音符是Ｃ。

in classical music is not because of you, but because of us?

Ｃ的任務就是讓Ｂ聽起來悲傷。Ｃ做到了，不是嗎？

Did anybody think while I was playing,

(笑聲)

"Why is he using so many impulses?"

作曲家都知道這個。如果想要作首悲傷的曲子

If I'd done this with my head you certainly would have thought it.

他們只需彈奏這兩個音符。

(Music)

(鋼琴聲)

(Music ends)

基本上就是只是一個Ｂ，和四個悲傷的音符。

And for the rest of your life, every time you hear classical music,

(笑聲)

you'll always be able to know if you hear those impulses.

降到Ａ。降到Ｇ，再降到Ｆ。

So let's see what's really going on here.

我彈了B, A, G, F。如果我彈了B, A, G, F,

We have a B. This is a B.

你猜下一個音符是什麼？可能只是僥倖猜到。

The next note is a C.

再試一下。哇，TED合唱圑。

And the job of the C is to make the B sad.

(笑聲)

And it does, doesn't it?

你有沒有注意到沒有人是音痴，對不對？沒有人是音痴。

(Laughter)

孟加拉的每個村莊，

Composers know that.

以及中國的每個小村子。每個人都知道：

If they want sad music, they just play those two notes.

嗒，嗒，嗒，嗒－嗒。每個人都知道接下來是E。

(Music)

可是蕭邦還不想彈到E，

But basically, it's just a B, with four sads.

接下來會如何？曲子就會結束，就像哈姆雷特一樣。

(Laughter)

你記不記得哈姆雷特的劇情？在第一幕，第三場：

Now, it goes down to A.

他發現是他的叔父殺了他的父親。

Now to G.

你記得他一而再三的走近他的叔父

And then to F.

幾乎就要殺了他。然後他又退卻

So we have B, A, G, F.

再走近他，幾乎要殺了他。

And if we have B, A, G, F,

坐在後排的所有劇評家，

what do we expect next?

他們的一致評論，"哈姆雷特是個猶豫不決的人"

(Music)

(笑聲)

That might have been a fluke.

或者評論，"哈姆雷特有戀母情結。"

Let's try it again.

笨蛋，要不這樣寫戲劇馬上就會結束。

(Music)

這就是為什麼莎士比亞要在哈姆雷特劇中放入這些情節。

Oh, the TED choir.

像是奧菲莉亞的發瘋，劇中劇，

(Laughter)

約力克的頭髏，以及盜墓者。

And you notice nobody is tone-deaf, right?

都是為了拖延--直到第五幕哈姆雷特才可以殺了他的叔父。

Nobody is.

蕭邦利用同樣的方法。他快要彈到E，

You know, every village in Bangladesh

他說，"喔，最好退回去再來一遍。"

and every hamlet in China -- everybody knows:

於是他再來一遍。

da, da, da, da -- da.

他開始變得激昂--這是激昂的段落，

Everybody knows, who's expecting that E.

不用擔心。

Chopin didn't want to reach the E there,

他來到升F，最後降到E，

because what will have happened?

但和弦不對。因為他所要的和弦

It will be over, like Hamlet. Do you remember?

是這個和弦，可是他卻用了...

Act One, scene three,

我們稱它為騙人曲調因為它欺騙了我們。

he finds out his uncle killed his father.

我總是告訴我的學生，"如果你彈到騙人曲調

He keeps on going up to his uncle and almost killing him.

抬高你的眉毛讓大家知道。"

And then he backs away, he goes up to him again, almost kills him.

(笑聲)

The critics sitting in the back row there,

(掌聲)

they have to have an opinion, so they say, "Hamlet is a procrastinator."

好的。他彈到E，但是個錯的和弦。

Or they say, "Hamlet has an Oedipus complex."

這次他試著再彈到E。這個和弦也不行。

No, otherwise the play would be over, stupid.

這次他試著再彈到E。這個和弦也不行。

(Laughter)

這次他試著再彈到E，這個和弦也不行。

That's why Shakespeare puts all that stuff in Hamlet --

終於...

Ophelia going mad, the play within the play,

前排有位男士發出"嗯"的聲音。

and Yorick's skull, and the gravediggers.

這是當他回到家時所做相同的動作

That's in order to delay --

在他忙了一天之後，車子熄好火，

until Act Five, he can kill him.

"啊，我到家了。"因為我們都知道那裡是家。

It's the same with the Chopin.

這是一首把你從遠遠的地方帶回家的曲子。

He's just about to reach the E,

我要整首演奏一遍

and he says, "Oops, better go back up and do it again."

你跟著琴聲。B,C,B,C,B,C,B--

So he does it again.

降到A，降到G，降到F。

Now, he gets excited.

快要到E，可是這樣曲子就結束了。

(Music)

他回升到B。音樂變得很激昂。來到升F。來到E。

That's excitement, don't worry about it.

和弦不對。和弦不對。和弦不對。

Now, he gets to F-sharp, and finally he goes down to E,

終於彈到E，到家了。

but it's the wrong chord --

你看到的是半個屁股的演奏。

because the chord he's looking for is this one,

(笑聲)

and instead he does ...

因為對我來說，要從B連到E，

Now, we call that a deceptive cadence,

我不能去想中間的每一個音符

because it deceives us.

而是去想從B到E那長長的一條線。

I tell my students, "If you have a deceptive cadence,

我們剛到過南非，你到南非

raise your eyebrows, and everybody will know."

一定會想到被關在牢裡27年的曼德拉。

(Laughter)

他在想什麼?午餐?

(Applause)

不是的，他想的是南非的願景

Right.

以及人類的願景。大家會記得的是--

He gets to E, but it's the wrong chord.

願景；那長長的一條線。

Now, he tries E again.

就像鳥兒飛越草原

That chord doesn't work.

不會去在乎下面的籬芭，對不對?

Now, he tries the E again. That chord doesn't work.

你跟著這條線從B到E。

Now, he tries E again, and that doesn't work.

在我彈完整首曲子之前，我有最後一個要求。

And then finally ...

請你回想一位你曾深愛，卻已永遠不在的人...

There was a gentleman in the front row who went, "Mmm."

你心愛的祖母，你的愛人，

(Laughter)

在你此生中真心喜愛的人，

It's the same gesture he makes when he comes home

但這個人已永遠不在你身邊。

after a long day, turns off the key in his car and says,

把他帶入你的心中，同時

"Aah, I'm home."