You're like the least racist person I know.

你是我認識最不會種族歧視的人。

Right.

對啊！

Yeah, who's even racist anymore? Is that even a thing?

對啊，這個年代還有人會種族歧視嗎？這還存在嗎？

Hey, so what's it like growing up in the projects?

住國宅長大是什麼感覺？

You know, I gotta tell you, you're pretty cool for a black dude. Like I feel totally safe right next to you.

我必須告訴你，你以黑人來說還蠻酷的，坐在你旁邊我感到非常安全。

Hey is it true what they say, like "Once you go black, you might get stabbed?"

那句話：「你一跟黑人交往，就有可能會被砍」是真的嗎？

I'm just saying, man, why don't we get our own month?

我只是說啦，為什麼我們沒有屬於自己的月份？(在美國，二月為黑人歷史月 Black History Month)

You know what n-word I hate? Negativity.

你知道我最討厭哪個 Ｎ 開頭的字嗎？消極。

You know what n-word I do like? Knowledge.

你知道我喜歡哪個 Ｎ 開頭的字嗎？知識。

Wait, you know your dad? Like your real dad?

等等，你認識你爸？你親生爸爸？

Hey, I don't know what it's like in your neighborhood, but in our neighborhood, we don't litter.

我不知道你住的社區是怎樣啦，但在我們的社區裡，我們不亂丟垃圾。

Yeah, I know it's hard to hear but, I just feel like Obama didn't really do a good job.

我知道這很難接受，但我覺得歐巴馬不是好總統。

Now, Bush, that was a president, right?

但布希就很棒，對吧？

You didn't see Selma? But that's your history, man!

你沒看《Selma》？但那是在演你的歷史耶，老兄！

You're into rap, right? I love rap. I'm into it.

你喜歡饒舌對吧？我愛饒舌，我超哈

In West Philadelphia, born and raised. Where the playground was where I spent more of my days.

我在西費城土生土長，大部分時間都在公園鬼混 (90 年代威爾史密斯主演的節目《The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air》主題曲歌詞)

Oh man. You know who I love? Chris Rock. "Hey Shrek, Lemme get some waffles! Hercules, Hercules. I love Kevin Hart.

喔天啊，你知道我最愛哪個演員嗎？Chris Rock 「嘿史瑞克，給我吃點鬆餅！壯漢，壯漢！(電影 The Nutty Professor 裡的台詞)」我超愛 Kevin Hart。

Man, you look just like that dude from Rush Hour! Uh, the actor, Lebron Cheadle?

老兄，你長得超像演《尖峰時刻》的那個！好像叫 Lebron Cheadle 吧？

You went to college, huh? Affirmative action, am I right?

你唸過大學喔？保障名額，我猜對了嗎？

So was it like a football scholarship or a basketball scholarship?

所以你是靠美式足球獎學金還是籃球獎學金？

I always sit in the back, but that's just out of respect.

我都坐後面，但這只是因為我尊重黑人。

Every year, I take Martin Luther King Day off. Just 'cause I know what's up.

每年的馬丁路德金恩紀念日我都會自己放假，因為我懂。

Not only do I eat crackers, I eat the fuck out of crackers.

我不只吃餅乾，我狂吃餅乾 (cracker 是對白人的貶義稱呼)。

-DaQuan, it's DaQuan right? -It's Winston.

-你叫 DaQuan 是吧？-我叫溫斯頓。

Winston... I was close!

溫斯頓...我蠻接近的！

Yeah, you were real close.

對啦，很接近。

Hello. My name is Luis. I should've taken off my shoes before I came in. I'm so sorry. You speak English right?

你好，我叫路伊斯，啊，我進來前應該脫鞋才對的，非常抱歉。你會講英文吧？

Can you help me? You're good at math, right?

你可以幫我一下嗎？你數學很好，對吧？

Can you do my nails?

可以幫我做指甲嗎？

God, like I support you people. All my shit's made in China.

我真的很支持你們，我所有東西都是中國製造。

I'm not Chinese.

我不是中國人。

You're fucking with me.

你在跟我開玩笑吧？

Japanese?

日本人？

Thai?

泰國人？

Filipino?

菲律賓人？

Vietnamese?

越南人？

Korean?

韓國人？

Is Hawaii Asian?

夏威夷人算亞洲人嗎？

Monlaysian?

蒙...來人？

Croasian?

克羅亞人？

But what's your Asian name though?

但你的亞洲名是什麼？

Susan.

Susan。

Susan... That's the American version, but I mean, come on, is it like pronounced Su-song? Su-sang? Su-saaaang

Susan... 那... 是美國版本，我是說，用你母語該怎麼發音？Su-song? Su-sang? Su-saaaang？

When you come home, does your mom go, "Do the laundry! So-saaaaang!"

你回家後，你媽會不會告訴你「去洗衣服！So-saaaaang！」

What belt are you? Bet you're a black belt.

你什麼帶？我打賭你一定是黑帶。

So your parents are like always really disappointed in you?

所以你爸媽是不是一直都對你感到失望？

Car insurance for you. It's gotta be pretty expensive, huh? I mean, how many accidents do you get in a month?

你需要車險，應該蠻貴的吧？你一個月出幾次車禍？

I bet it's really hard to pick one of you guys out of a line-up, right? It's not like in a racist way. It's just because you don't have like different color hair

證人指認亞洲罪犯的時候一定很困難吧？我不是在歧視你們啦！只是因為你們髮色都一樣。

Like everyone has black hair. You don't have blonde or redheads, and all the same eye color, and the same face shape, and personality...

大家都黑髮， 你們不會有金髮或紅髮，眼睛眼色也一樣，臉型也一樣，個性也一樣...

Hey. Was that you standing outside of Home Depot last Saturday?

嘿，我上週六在家得寶 (美國傢具建材零售商) 外面看到的是你嗎？(刻板印象：墨西哥勞工會在家得寶等零工工作機會)

How do you feel now that you're in the mainland?

你來到了美國本土有什麼感覺？

Does your abuela used to sing a lot to you?

你阿嬤以前很常唱歌給你聽嗎？(abuela 是西文，意思是「祖母」)

When is Cinco de Mayo actually? Did I miss it?

五月五日節 (墨西哥節慶) 什麼時候？我錯過了嗎？

I always have to figure out when it is on the calendar, and mark it, but I love it.

我每次都得在月曆上找很久然後把它記下來，但是我超愛這節日。

Hi Cinco. Get it? Whoo! You don't hit very hard for a Mexican.

嗨，擊掌！(cinco 為西文的 5，意指 give me five) 哇，你擊掌的力道一點也不墨西哥。

So where are you from?

所以你打哪來的啊？

Detroit.

底特律。

But where are you from?

但是你是從哪裡來的啊？

Like Mexico? New Mexico?

墨西哥嗎？還是新墨西哥？

What's your name again?

你再說一次你叫什麼？

It's uh, George.

呃，我叫 George。

-Oh. Jorge. That's my gardener's name. Jorge. -George

- 喔，是 Jorge (西文的 George)，跟我園丁同名，Jorge - George

I speak Spanish.

我會說西文。

-It's George. Can you say it with me? George. -Jorge

- 我叫 George，跟我一起唸，George。 - Jorge。

Does your beard hair just naturally grow like that, or do you just draw it on, you know?

你的鬍子本來就長那樣嗎還是是你畫上去的？

Oh my god, I love your food. I go to Taco Bell all the time.

天啊，我愛你們的食物，我一天到晚去 Taco Bell。

Taco Tuesday! More like tacos every day!

星期二吃墨西哥捲餅！可是你們根本是每天吃捲餅！

So I went to this Mexican restaurant, and all their taco shells were like limp and pale.

我上次去一間墨西哥餐廳，他們的捲餅餅皮軟軟白白的。

So much for authentic right? You'd think Chipotle would know how to make Mexican food.

他們還主打道地墨西哥料理，我以為 Chipotle 很會做墨西哥料理。

Wait a second. You've never eaten sushi?

等等，你沒吃過壽司？

I've assumed you just brought it for lunch. That'd be like me never eating a hamburger.

我想說你應該有帶來當午餐，這就跟我說我從來沒吃過漢堡一樣

Who brought the fried chicken and watermelon? That's just rude! Am I right? Fucking white people.

誰帶炸雞跟西瓜啦？(刻板印象：炸雞跟西瓜是黑人的最愛) 很沒禮貌欸！對吧？死白人。

Hey man. I know I said some insensitive things and...

嘿老兄，我知道我說了些遲鈍的話...

And definitely treated you differently. Made some assumptions based on your ethnic background.

對待你的方式特別不一樣，也因為你的種族而作出了一些假設。

Truth is, you and I are different.

事實上，我們不一樣。

In the same way that like every human being is different from one another.

因為世界上沒有人是一模一樣的。

But we are also the same. You know, we're people.

但我們也很相似，我們都是人。

We both deserve support, and we both deserve respect.

我們都應該被支持、被尊敬。

And I wasn't respectful to you.

我對你很不尊敬。

I'm sorry if I offended you in any way man. That was not my intention.

我很抱歉我冒犯了你，這不是我的用意。

Really sorry.

非常抱歉。

I'm sorry.

對不起。

It's all good.

沒關係啦！

It's cool, man.

沒關係。

I don't know what we're doing at all. Okay. All right.

我完全不知道我們現在是在幹嘛，喔，好吧。

I'm sorry. I learned that in college.

抱歉，我唸大學的時候學到的。

Is racism even a thing?

種族歧視還存在喔？

Can you go make us some margaritas?

你可以去幫我們做點瑪格麗特嗎？

I come from a long line of racists. I'll have you know.

我歷代祖先都會種族歧視，你到時候就知道。

You know your dad?

你認識你爸？

America, do not stand for this racism.

美國國民，絕不容忍種族歧視。

I need you to band together, and tell these fuckers to go f**k themselves.

我需要你們團結起來，叫這些混帳滾蛋。

Look, you got this chain, little Pitbull chain.

看看你這條嘻哈鬥牛梗的金鍊。

I would've invited you to karaoke last night. I just figured that you were gonna like show everyone up.

我昨晚本來要邀你來唱卡拉 OK 的，我只是想說你應該會厲害到讓大家感到很丟臉。

You know what n-word I don't like. Nativity. I'm Jewish.

你知道我最討厭什麼 Ｎ 開頭的字嗎？耶穌誕生 (nativity)，因為我是猶太人。