And since I have no life and no job,

因為現在生活很無聊，也沒有在工作

I decided to make a short video with five basic steps

所以我決定錄個短片，用五個簡單步驟

on how you can get into Harvard.

來告訴你們，如何進入哈佛大學

Welcome to the first day of class.

歡迎來到第一堂課

Today I'll be teaching you how to get into Harvard.

今天我要教你們如何踏進哈佛大門

Harvard! That's my favorite law school. I really wanna go there.

哈佛！我最喜歡的法學院就在哈佛！真的好想成為哈佛法學院學生啊！

Yeah Harvard!

耶！哈佛！

Have you ever had homework problems that you couldn't solve?

你是否曾經有不會寫的作業呢？

Step 1: Get glasses

第一步：買副眼鏡

If you already have glasses, get bigger glasses.

如果你已經有一副了，買另一副大一點的

Couldn't have done it without the glasses.

因為沒有眼鏡，你無法看懂作業

Step 2: Play an instrument

第二步：去學一樣樂器

Everyone plays the piano.

大家都會彈鋼琴

Or the violin.

或是拉小提琴

But who plays the... triangle.

但是有誰會打…三角鐵呢？

Exactly. No one.

沒錯！大家都不會！

Step 3: Improve test taking skills

第三步：增強考試技巧

It's imperative to hone your test-taking skills by working fruitfully on your hand-eye coordination.

不斷訓練手眼協調是鍛鍊考試技巧的不二法門

A good warmup is essential.

良好的暖身是必要的

Spend at least 15 minutes every day playing Fruit Ninja.

每天都至少花十五分鐘玩遊戲app「水果忍者」

Killed it. Thank you Fruit Ninja.

一切解決，感謝你啦，水果忍者！

Step 4: Practice while you study

第四步：邊讀書邊練習

Oh shoot. I forgot a book.

噢天！我忘記拿那本書了

And one!

加罰一球！(譯註：籃球術語)

Study while you practice

邊練習邊讀書

Okay. Jeremy.

書豪

6 x 6

六乘六等於？

36.

三十六

9 x 8

九乘八等於？

72.

七十二

211 x 28

那兩百一十一乘以二十八呢？

Uhh.. uhh..

嗯…嗯…

Step 5: Be up to date with the news

第五步：隨時關注時事

For example, who knew The Dow Jones is down 5 points today?

舉例來說，有誰知道道瓊指數今天下跌五個百分點？

Ryan.

萊恩

Who's Dow?

誰是道瓊？

What team does he play for? Did they win?

他是哪隊的？他的球隊贏了嗎？

Oh you mean Dow Ming!

還是你指的是明道？

Hopefully my video will help you get into Harvard or the school of your choice.

希望你能從我的影片中了解如何進入哈佛，或是對進入你的理想學校有所幫助

If I could go back into high school, I would only change one thing.

如果時光到流，能讓我重回高中時光，我希望能夠改變一件事

I would still make sure I'd try to give my best effort,

我一樣會對每件事情竭盡全力

but I would worry a lot less and I'll enjoy that experience.

但我不會再那麼擔憂未來，而是享受一切經歷

Those 4 years in high school. Because they really do fly by.

享受高中四年 (譯註：美國學制) 的點點滴滴，因為光陰似箭

Even when I got rejected from Stanford,

儘管史丹佛拒絕收我

I was pretty disappointed and crushed because that was my dream school.

我當時相當失望，覺得一切都毀了，因為史丹佛是我的夢想學校

But looking back, I realized God had a perfect plan for me and everything had worked out the way it was supposed to.

然而，回首過往，我發現神為我安排很好的計畫，所有的美夢都成真了！

Wow Ryan! You look like you're ready for Harvard!

哇！萊恩，你看起來已經準備好踏進哈佛殿堂了

You betcha teacher!

當然囉，老師

A lot of you guys asked me how I got into Harvard.

很多人問我究竟是怎麼進入哈佛的

And since I have no ide--

但我真的一點都不…

Glasses

眼鏡

Bigger glasses

更大鏡片的眼鏡

For extra credit, get 3D glasses.

想要再更上一層樓，就買3D眼鏡

...oh shoot.

或是，噢…

I'm so weak, I'm sorry.

我遜爆了，真對不起

Alright. That's perfect.

好了，很完美啦！

Uhh...uhh...

嗯…嗯…