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  • I have to do this. All the people that are waiting on me.

    我必須這樣做,其他人都還在等我呢。

  • This has gone on long enough. This ends now!

    這已經花我夠多的時間了,是時候該結束一切了!

  • Dude, stop pushing so hard. That's why you keep getting hemorrhoids.

    老兄,不要再這麼用力了。難怪你會一直得痔瘡。

  • It's time to DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- DU- Duel!

    是時候要決、決、決、決、決鬥了!

  • Now remember Yugi, when you start to stutter, go ahead and calm down and take it slow.

    遊戲,記得,當你口吃的時候⋯⋯試著冷靜一點然後說慢一點。

  • It's time to d- du- duel.

    是時候要決、決鬥了!

  • Very good.

    非常好。

  • News anchor: And now to Pallet Town, where a local man was found guilty of animal cruelty.

    新聞播報:現在讓我們把鏡頭轉到武鬥鎮,在這裡有一個男人被發現虐待動物。

  • Reporters: Ash! Ash! Ash! Ash!

    記者:小智!小智!

  • Reporter 1: Is it true that you abused animals?

    記者:你有虐待動物,是真的嗎?

  • Ash: No comment.

    小智:不予置評。

  • Reporter 1: What do you have to say to people who capture wild animals and keep them in confined balls?

    記者:你有什麼話要對那些跟你一樣,捕捉野生動物還把牠們關在球裡的人說?

  • Reporter 2: What about the accusation you are part of a pet underground battling society?

    記者:那對於那些你參加地下寵物互鬥的控訴你有什麼回應?

  • Reporter 3: Do you regret picking a Pikachu?

    記者:你會後悔你抓了皮卡丘嗎?

  • Ash: No comment.

    小智:不予置評。

  • Reporter 3: Ash, what about the threesome with you Brock and Misty?

    記者:小智,那跟你一起幹壞事的三人組裡是不是還有小剛跟小霞?

  • Hey. It was always just Brock.

    嘿,一直都只有小剛而已。

  • Reporters: ASH! Ash! Ash!

    記者:小智!小智!

  • Naruto!

    鳴人!

  • Sasuke!

    佐助!

  • Naruto!

    鳴人!

  • Sasuke!

    佐助!

  • Naruto!

    鳴人!

  • Sausage!

    香腸!

  • What?

    什麼?

  • Oh, oops.

    糟了。

  • Did you just call me sausage? That's not even a good joke.

    你剛剛叫我「香腸」嗎?那一點都不好笑喔。

  • No, no, no. Sorry. The script must have auto corrected Sasuke to sausage.

    不不不,我很抱歉。自動校正功能把「佐助」該成「香腸」了。

  • You know I was just going to hurt you, Naruto. But now I'm going to kill you!

    不用再說了,我原本只是想傷害你,鳴人,但我現在想殺了你!

  • Prepare yourself, Naruto.

    準備接招吧,鳴人。

  • Are you gonna do it, or?

    你到底有沒有要出招,還是...?

  • Just shut up, okay? Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to remember all of this?

    閉嘴好嗎?你知道我要記住這些手勢有多難嗎?

  • I mean, do you really have to do all that sign language? I mean, we already have subtitles.

    我指,你真的要做完全部的手勢啊?怎麼說呢,我們有字幕在底下做輔助啊。

  • I said, shut up!

    我說了,閉嘴!

  • Okay. Sorry.

    好的,抱歉。

  • Seriously, how much longer are you gonna -

    講認真,你到底要耗上多...

  • I'm almost done! Can you just let me finish?

    我就快好了,你不能讓我一次做完嗎?

  • Fine! Just hurry up.

    好啦!你快點就是了

  • Okay. Now where was I?

    我剛剛做到哪裡了?

  • Say goodbye, Naruto.

    再見了,鳴人

  • SASUKE!!!!

    佐助!!!

  • SAUSAGE!!!!

    香腸!!!

  • I mean, it's cool that they put us in this magazine and all, but I don't really appreciate how they photoshopped us.

    我覺得他們讓我們上這個雜誌很棒,但我不喜歡他們修圖我們。

  • Hey, Sailor Moon. I mean, I know you're the leader and all, but I was wondering, maybe we could switch planets for this year?

    嘿,水手月亮,我知道你是主角,但我在想或許我們今年可以換個星球?

  • Yeah, we should do that.

    對啊,我們應該這麼做對啊。

  • Yeah, I wouldn't mind that.

    對啊,那樣挺好。

  • No, Sailor Jupiter. We've been through this. The planets represent who we are!

    不,水手木星,我們討論過了。星球代表我們的特質!

  • But, I want to be Sailor Moon!

    但是,我想當水手月亮!

  • You're too big to be a moon! You're the biggest one! That's why you're Jupiter!

    你當月亮太大隻了,你是最大隻的所以你當土星!

  • Ugh, you bitch! I'm self-conscious.

    你這個賤人,我很敏感的。

  • And, Sailor Saturn, you're the only one that can hula hoop here.

    還有,水手土星,你是這裡唯一會搖呼拉圈的人。

  • I said I know HULA. I never said hula HOOP!

    我是說我會跳草裙舞,不是呼拉圈。 (hula草裙舞,hula hoop呼拉圈)

  • And I can hula hoop a little bit. I can switch with Saturn.

    我會搖呼拉圈啊,我可以跟她換。

  • No, because you have to be Mars. You're the manliest one, and men are from Mars.

    不行!因為你必須當火星, 你是最像男生的。男人是從火星來的。

  • Well, if men are from Mars, then women have to be from Venus, and Sailor Venus don't look very womanly.

    如果男人是從火星來的話,女人就是從金星來的,但是水手金星看起來不像女生啊。

  • - Actually, that saying is wrong. - What?

    - 事實上,那個說法是錯的。- 什麼?

  • Women aren't from Venus. Hermaphrodites are.

    女人不是從金星來的,陰陽人才是。

  • Hermaphrodites? You mean people with both parts?

    陰陽人?你是說男女器官都有的人?

  • Yeah, a penis and a vagina.

    沒錯,有陰莖跟陰道。

  • I don't even want to switch planets!

    我根本不想換星球!

  • I'm proud to have a vagina-penis!

    我很驕傲我兩個都有!

  • I'm proud to have a Venus!

    我很驕傲可以當今星!

  • Well, why can't I be Sailor Moon? I moon just as many people as you do.

    那我為什麼不能當水手月亮?我也以月亮的名義逞罰過很多人啊。

  • Yeah, but I keep my shorts on, Sailor Uranus.

    是啊,但我至少都有把褲子穿好,水手天王星。

  • Are you slut shaming me?

    你是在「蕩婦羞辱」我嗎?

  • (Arguing)

    (爭論)

  • Guys, can I not be Pluto anymore?

    各位,我可以不要當冥王星了嗎?

  • (Arguing)

    (爭論)

  • Guys?

    各位?

  • (Arguing)

    (爭論)

  • Oh yeah. I'm not part of the group anymore.

    對了,我已經不是是行星了。

  • Hey guys, smell your armbands. It's so...

    各位,聞聞你們的臂章,好噁。

  • (Arguing)

    (爭論)

  • Girls, right?

    女孩們就是這樣嘛,對吧?

  • - (girl voice) Uh, what is that supposed to mean? - (man voice) No, no, no, no, I just meant that girls fight a lot.

    - 呃....你剛說什麼?- 不不不,我只是說女人很常吵架。

  • - And guys don't!? - Yeah, I mean but we just use our fists!

    - 男生就不會嗎?- 對啊,我們只會用拳頭!

  • So do we!

    我們也會啊!

  • If you're looking for strength,

    如果你在尋找力量,

  • if you're looking for a strong blade,

    如果你在尋找利刃,

  • if you're looking to become stronger than you've ever been before,

    如果你在尋找比以往都更加強大的能力,

  • then come on down to Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes, where we cut and hairstyle ALL anime heroes!

    那就來「死神的理髮店」專門將您打造為動漫英雄!我們可以為您修剪各種髮型,統統都是動漫人物的髮型哦!

  • Men hairstyles to women hairstyles. Short, long, horny, we do it all here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes!

    不論是男孩還是女孩的髮型。短的、長的、捲捲的,我們都在「死神理髮店」歡迎您前來成為動漫角色!

  • You want that Super Saiyan look without all that Super Saiyan training?

    你想要不透過那麼多的訓練就得到賽亞人的髮型嗎?

  • Well, I'm sayin', here at Bleach's Cuts and Hairstyles for Anime Heroes...

    就讓我再說一次吧!在這裡你可以得到所有你喜歡的髮型。

  • Of course we're gonna specialize in bleach and hair! We bleached some of the most famous heroes in anime!

    當然了!我們會也提供漂白染髮服務,我們常幫動漫英雄們的頭髮漂白哦!

  • Heroes you probably thought were AALL natural.

    那些動漫角色你以為他們的髮色都是正常的嗎?

  • Goku to Naruto to Lucy from Fairy Tail!

    從悟空到鳴人,到妖精尾巴裡的露西!

  • We even bleached Sailor Uranus!

    我們甚至幫水手天王星漂白髮色哦!

  • I mean, Pikachu used to be brown, but we got to him!

    你看看,其實皮卡丘原本是褐色的哦!

  • 'Cause like the saying goes, "You can't be a real anime hero without cool anime hair."

    就如一句俗語所說:如果你沒有酷炫髮型,你不能當一個真正的動漫英雄。

  • Oh...

    喔。

  • No!

    不!

  • Noooooooo~!

    不!

  • No what?

    什麼不?

  • You - your shoelaces are untied. You almost fell and uh, hit these bricks down.

    你的鞋帶掉了。你差點要跌倒,打到這堆磚頭。

  • Hey, thanks man. That's really nice of you.

    謝了兄弟。你人真好。

  • Yeah.

  • Yeah!

    不客氣!

  • Yeaaaaaaaah~!

    啊!

  • Are you supposed to be One Punch Man?

    你是一拳超人嗎?

  • Yeah. I can pretty much defeat any anime hero with one punch.

    沒錯。我可以打敗所有的動漫角色,而且只需要靠一個拳頭。

  • Every anime hero?

    每個動漫角色?

  • Yeah.

    沒錯。

  • Oh!

    歐!

  • Not too sure what I can do with that.

    我不知道我能怎麼幫你耶。

  • I guess I could paint an arrow on your head, you could look like Aang.

    不過我想我可以在你頭上畫一個箭頭。你看起來就會很像降世神通的「安」。

  • Delivery?

    快遞?

  • Oh! Thank God.

    歐!好險!

  • Just, uh, sign here.

    在這簽名。

  • I don't remember ordering anything but...

    我不記得有買東西啊。

  • Wait, I don't think I ordered this.

    等等,我不記得我有買這個。

  • You're from Bleach, right?

    你是「死神理髮店」的對吧?

  • Yeah.

    沒錯。

  • Yeah, that was for you.

    那就是給你的。

  • I don't even know what these are. What are these? Like colored rocks?

    但我根本不知道這些是什麼東西啊?這是啥,彩繪石頭?

  • Yes, it says here that they are rocks, but it's a French brand.

    嘿丟,那是彩色的石頭,還是法國來的。

  • So it's not "color", it's "colour"... rocks.

    所以,那不是彩繪的...是有色的石頭。

  • What?

    啥?

  • It's Clorox Bleach.

    那就是 Clorox 漂白水。(Clorox Bleach 為一種漂白水品牌)

  • Wha... what are you... What are you doing here?

    你在這幹嘛?

  • Just... dragging balls. See? (Dragon Ball Z)

    就只是...拖著球,看到了吧? (dragging balls 音近 dragon balls 七龍珠)

  • Hey man! What's with all the commotion?

    嘿老兄,怎麼有陣騷動?

  • My shoes keep coming untied, no matter how hard I tighten them.

    我的鞋帶一直鬆掉,不管我多努力的試著去綁。

  • Oh, I've got the perfect thing for you.

    噢,我有個很適合你的東西。

  • What is that?

    那啥?

  • It's a tack.

    一個大頭釘。

  • How is that gonna help me tighten my shoes?

    那要怎麼幫我把我的鞋帶綁上?

  • Just stick it into your shoelace and it gets tighter.

    你就只要用它把你的鞋帶釘在你的鞋子上。

  • It's a tack to tighten. (Attack on Titan)

    讓它們緊緊貼在一起 (發音梗:Attack on Titan 為進擊的巨人英文名稱)

  • Oh cool! This Fairy Tail shirt's only $9.99!

    噢酷欸!這個妖精尾巴的上衣只要賣 9.99 元!

  • I guess you could say it's some pretty "fair retail".

    你可以說那是個很平價的零售店。 (fair retail 平價零售,音近 Fairy Tale 妖精的尾巴)

  • You suck!

    你爛透了!

  • Okay! Enough with the bad puns already! Okay, I get it.

    好了,夠了,不用再示範了,你的雙關語真是爛到爆。

  • One Pun-ch Man.

    雙關語超人。 (pun 是雙關語,punch 是拳)

  • Okay, you make puns. Very funny, I get it.

    好的,你很喜歡雙關語,很幽默好棒棒。

  • Actually, I'm not One Punch Man anymore.

    其實,我已經不再是一拳超人了。

  • What? The square root of 4? What? I don't get it.

    什麼?根號四?你想跟我表達什麼?

  • I'm "four-root" punch.

    我是根號四拳。 (four root punch 音近 fruit punch 一種雞尾酒)

  • Seriously? Fruit Punch? That's the best you can do?

    真假?果汁飲料?這就是你能想到最好笑的雙關?

  • Sí.

    嘿丟。

  • Okay, now, you really did go too far.

    好的大哥,你現在真的有點太超過了。

  • You can't make that joke. You're Asian.

    你不能開剛剛那種笑話,你是個亞洲人欸。

  • I know. That's why now I'm...

    我知道,這也就是為什麼我是⋯⋯

  • ...punchink.

    punchink。(chink 是用來貶低中國人)

  • Okay, really did just cross the line on that one.

    你剛剛真的太超過了。

  • Actually, I'm uh... still on it.

    其實,我,呃,還在線上。

  • Look. Enough is enough already.

    聽著,夠了,真的夠了!

  • A- Aren't you supposed to be One Punch... just one pun?

    你不是應該是一拳超人的嗎?怎麼變雙關語超人了?

  • How many puns did you made already?

    你今天到底說了幾個雙關語?

  • I don't know. Anywhere from one to a ton.

    不知道。從一個到很多。

  • Wh- what?

    什麼?

  • Aha! See?

    啊哈!看吧?

  • I tricked you! You crossed the "too-many-puns-for-one-video" line, and now you can't make anymore!

    我騙到你了!你越過「一支影片太多雙關語」的線了。你現在不能再說雙關了!

  • So now, I can finally end this video without a dumb pun.

    我終於可以不用用愚蠢的雙關為這支影片做結尾了。

  • Well, you didn't say that was a rule.

    你沒說有這個規則啊。

  • Well, it is! You crossed the line, so you can't make anymore puns.

    是規則啊!你越過線了,所以你不能再說雙關了。

  • If you say so.

    隨你怎麼說。

  • Yes! I do.

    就是照我說的。

  • But just so I'm clear, this line represents the last pun of the video, right?

    但我要說清楚,這條線代表的是這支影片最後一個雙關,對吧?

  • Yeah.

    沒錯。

  • So, technically then, this line is kind of the line I'm saying right now.

    所以基本上這條線就是我現在在說的這句台詞。

  • What?

    什麼?

  • 'Cause it's the last punchline.

    因為這是一拳超人最後的台詞。(punchline 指的是好笑的梗,尤指故事或笑話的最後部分點題或拋出笑料等)

I have to do this. All the people that are waiting on me.

我必須這樣做,其他人都還在等我呢。

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